chemica

Yea, you definitely need to specify what you are drinking. If it is beer, drinking 4 cans of beer and then trying to run two miles is rediculously dehydrating.

My little sister commited suicide 3 years ago. She had so much to live and was the most amazing person I have ever know, and she couldn't see it. We probably would have been going to college and shared and apartment together this coming fall.

I am now fighting serious depression, almost as bad as hers was.

Even though you can't right now, when you step aside yourself, you will see how much there really is to live for.

Don't be blinded like she was.

It seems that if someone turns 25 a virgin they feel their life is meaningless.I can understand people considering suicide because of a lost love,(as I myself do on a semi daily basis), or feeling unloved by parents, but not having a bf or gf? i dont understand that.

To society, being a 25 year old virgin is less socially acceptable than being homosexual. At least they write books to help people deal with the latter.

I want to save sex for when I am in a relationship with a woman I love. But when you are shy and have never had a girlfriend, it begins to feel hopeless. The average age people lose their virginity is now 15-16. If you are in your twenties and you have never been there, it makes you feel like years have been stolen from your life.

Well i kind of used to be that way... I think the reason is when your feeling so down and like no one cares, all you really want is someone to care. Someone to love you for the person you are and not for who you pretend to be. Someone to hold you in their arms and tell you they'll love you no matter what. I know all people want that but the people wo are already down feel that pain more. I think people just want someone to save them thats all...

Very Very true, I definitely feel this way.

Only the type of men that women are attracted to are like this.

I think the majority of men sincerely admire and respect women for more than just physical attributes.

Yet the idealist in me wants to say "Keep looking, don't give up hope, blah, blah, blah..." I'm torn.

I don't really see what is idealist about not giving up at age 24. Young relationships often don't work out and you are letting it ruin your life. The problem doesn't seem to be as much that your relationships were bad as it is that you simply were never ready for relationships in the first place.

I'm confused.

Where my confusion lies is this - No later than yesterday, you created a thread on how to ask someone out, and continue to post in it, while at the same time declaring that you've given up all hope in this one.

I agree, you have had other contradictory threads like this. I would seriously reevaluate what you want and then start over. In this thread, you seem to try to be convincing yourself that you want to be single, and it is obvious that deep down inside this is not what you want.

RedQueen, having read a few of your posts in other threads, you seem to have issues with men that border on manhating. Whether or not a man has feminine qualities, he is going to find this a major putoff. I honestly think this is much more alienating than whatever androgynous characteristics you might have. You claimed to have trouble getting along with both sexes and this is just my observation.

I know many people who have androgynous personalities who have no problem with alienation.

My parents were both very shy and my dad's first serious girlfriend was my mom at age 36. Crap, I am ending up exactly like them.

I just want everything to be alright with our lives if it turns out that she is pregnant. That's all

I'm sure that you do, but if "society is different these days", then clearly a heightened level of responsibility comes with it.

Unless you are offering financial assistance or marriage, then the choice is hers...

...it really is her vagina in the end.

Sorry if this sounds harsh, but everyone here had to put up with the same hormones and choices at your age. I hope you understand now why this is an adult responsibility and regardless of what is happening in this society, kids shouldn't be having sex. I hope things work out well for the both of you and you walk away from this situation with greater wisdom instead of a child or an abortion.

Well I am a Chemical Engineering student and can potentially relate. The difference is that I have never had a girlfriend and am painfully shy around girls. I have made basically no good friends at college. I feel like engineering has destroyed the chance for social development that college offers, one that I desperately needed. I can relate to the above comment by yang/yin about walking into a room of people and falling silent.

I am so scared that it is to late to start dating and that I have basically missed my chance. I am using counseling to help, but will likely have to seek a change as the current one is not helping.

Congratz on the 4.0 gpa. In the 102 year history of my engineering program, only 2 have ever graduated with anything above a 3.85. I have a relatively high gpa for thr program but I understand that it is no consolation for a lacking social life. My social struggles greatly influenced my gpa last semester and I am trying harder not to let that crap affect what is really important right now. Regardless, one of my biggest goals in life is falling in love and getting married, so I am hoping for big progress in the next few years.

Sorry that I can't really give you any advice, but I am definitely hoping things get better for both of us.

Uggh 21. Going to be filing for Social Security in a couple years.

I fear the day when I read these kind of posts from 10-12 year olds. It seems to get younger every year.

I have to say, that to some extent, money DOES make me happy. If I had ENOUGH money to support myself I'd be fine, but I'm always living paycheck to paycheck, and I feel like I'm barely hanging on...

People who can't manage money at lower incomes usually fair even worse when their income goes up. They spend more and more and wind up in more debt than when they earned less. Figure out a way to make money, set financial goals, read personal finance books, and get your spending under control are good first steps.

DESTROY THE CREDIT CARD and replce with a debit card. Credit card companies LOVE people who don't pay off their balance every month. They call the people who can pay off their balance dead-beats because they can't charge them interest. Don't spend money you don't have.

Money = less stress when managed properly. However, I would guess that the rate of depression/suicide is indeed higher at higher incomes. Getting rid of spending problems and financial stresses often lead you to focus on other personal hang-ups. I have no debt and will be entering a very high paying field, and have found this to be the case.

Wow, I hope your OK. Trust me it was him who deserved that knife for what he did, that is just wrong (though it is good you didn't do anything you might really regret).

I'll never understand why people insist on continuing contact with their ex's months after the fact, especially a jerk like this guy. PLEASE move on from this guy...Nothing good can come from continuing to see an ex.

On another note, you sound like a bright girl...I am puzzled how smart girls get themselves involved with people like this. referring to another thread now going on, there had to be some pretty serious flags hinting to run from this guy.

Listen to Frisco but...

People who want both military and AF have lots of options:

-GI Bill (what Frisco did)

-ROTC

-Get a degree and then go to a college recruiter at a career fair. They always have recruiters looking to hire graduates for management level positions

-OCS

Hey,

 

I'm a virgin and am planning on keeping it that way for quite a while..or well I'm not ready for now anyways.. but I do have a boyfriend of about 2 weeks. I sense that he is pretty much hooked on me, e.g. he even rung me to remind me of our 1 week anniversary(!) we were great friends for a long time beforehand, and I'm quite sure he sees our relationship as long term.

 

A lot of people have said, men fall in love through having sex with the girl, because that's how they express their feelings: physically. Just wandering, is it really the case? How many times have you guys fallen in love with a girl before having sex with her?

 

Just wandering how long it might take to hear the words 'I love you'...

 

Please share experiences! Thanks !

 

I am a virgin as well and can tell you any guy like this is in search of casual sex, not relationships. You would be crazy not to dump a guy like this.

I will graduate from university in a year. I have never had a girlfriend and never been kissed. I feel my entire university experience was a waste. It was a blur of studying, working and countless evenings staying up alone. I feel I've wasted three years of my life wallowing in loneliness. Now nothing has changed. I feel like a social misfit because I have no confidence or ability to make friends, let alone girlfriends. I don't even want to attend my convocation because I know all the guys and girls there will be with their girl/boy friends and other friends while I won't have anyone attending besides my parents. It'll just depress me further and reinforce the idea I'm a loser. Does anyone else feel this way?

OMG, like the same story. I am a 21 year old Chemical Engineering student at CU Boulder going into my final year. Never had a girlfriend...never been kissed. I hear "college is the best time of your life" and want to stab an ice pick in their face (not really but you know what I mean). Between being so busy with study and extremely shy, I have struggled enormously in making friends and getting a gf.

Don't worry though man...I just keep working on my shyness and I will be much better off after college to find that special girl. Finding the right girl is much more important than pileing up a bunch of failed relationships.

Oh yea...Frisco DJ is so right. I had not kissed a guy til I was almost 21. LOL. My first guy was my first boyfriend whom I was in a relationship with for 2.5 years and broke up recently. I am a junior about to be a senior at University of Miami and majoring in psychology. To be honest with you, I used to feel like you do now that I did not do partying like college kids but when I started doing it, it was so hard for me to focus on studying. If it helps, click on my pic. I am told to be hot but got my first kiss when I was almost 21. I was just busy studying and did not care about boyfriends or kissing, etc. Just be yourself and don't be harsh on yourself because you are not a loser!!!If I could, I would give your first kiss to prove it!

^Good post.

I met my husband online. I wasn't looking for anything. He had stumbled accross a nearly empty profile of mine on an shared-interest website (not a dating site) and decided to IM me. I wasn't even looking to chat at the time and the pop up annoyed me. When I started chatting with him and found out he was 11 years younger than me and lived 2 hours away, I was reluctant to have anything more to do with him.

 

Somehow, we ended up married...go figure.

...But he likely was looking. You said you were reluctant to have anything do to with them so he likely had to pursue you. Guys don't have the luxury of being able to find someone while not looking. If shy guys don't put all of their energy into looking they will be alone until the end of their days.

I'm 21/M and virgin. I want it to be when I am in a loving relationship with someone I would consider marrying. Could never imagine having sex with someone I don't care about.

Starting to realize that guys that don't lose it before 18 have pretty much given up any chance of ever having sex but...Meh.

On a side note, I think the name of your thread, would be an awesome name for a band!!!!!

come-ons.

Just ROFL RedQueen!

I am 21 and virgin and feel that sex should be between people who love or care for each other, and very much respect the spiritual aspect of sex. I had the chance, and am starting to realize that it was a huge mistake to wait for that relationship as people like me are viewed as an aberration by society. Unfortunately, if you don't engage in casual sex, I think you are basically doomed to singledom as most women find it a turn off.

If I dated as a game, I'd reject it.

 

But I don't. I see Interacting With People As A Way Of Life.

 

Relationships are a great distraction from miseries in life such as depression, bankruptcy, educational stress....

 

And...hello. S.E.X.

If you use either of these things (relationships and sex) as a distraction for life's troubles, they will become miseries themselves.

Edit to add: I also think sex before marriage isn't a good option. I think intercourse should be sacred and cherished, and if you don't end up marrying the first person you have sex with, I think it affects you psychologically, but that's just my opinion. I believe that's why some marry their first gf/bf so that they can begin sharing their love and life with another early on, not age at 30+ which will be my situation. Just my 2cents.

I think this statement is very true. If this is the kind of experience you want for your friend it is a very bad idea. The longer you stay in the dating game, the more it ruins you for marriage.

Yeah but still, even though he USED to text you, doesn't mean he's going to anymore. Sure, he might have said it, but he might not have meant it. I agree with Frisco on this one, this guy is not for you. Focus on the future, forget the past, and forget regret.

This post really says it all.

What a shock, your ex doesn't talk to you anymore. Crazy new concept? I can understand how this is hurtful, but if you go on worrying about this kind of crap you will never be happy. If the relationship was working, he wouldn't be your ex.

See, I used to think like you did. You're still young

You are too there buddy. Kevin I have read to many of your other threads too watch you completely blame relationships for your troubles. You have too many other personal issues that have prevented your success with women. Fix those and then recomment. Trying to construct beliefs like these are simply ways to cover up the real problems.

I have never been in a serious relationship at 21 and am glad I haven't for many of the reasons you listed. I am not refuting anything you said, in fact I agree with most. I do believe that when ready, they are absolutely worth it and many of the reasons aren't even a factor between two healthy people.

Anyways, let me just say I've been seriously questioning this idiocy called "dating".

Dating is beyond idiocy. But I hope that you find that right 5'2" asian girl when the time is right.