dolphin_girl

Okay, so it seems like the most popular response that I always seem to get here is to go NC. Well, I can't do that, I can't strait up ignore him. However, I do realize that I am completely tearing myself apart. I need some input on this. Him being out of state for the summer will actually help. I'll answer his calls from time to time, when HE calls, but I'll never call him. No more of this talking for hours everyday and tearing me apart crap. I'll place myself noticably farther away from him... Let him see what its like when I'm not always at his beck and call... don't get me wrong, I'm not really angry with him. I just need to distance myself. This isn't easy. My bestfriend is no longer my bestfriend... just a person I occasionally talk to. I know its not as good as strait up NC, but our friendship runs to deep for that... so what do you think? If it works... the next hurdle will be returning to college... Thanks.

I understand that no contact is usually the best way to go. However, me and this guy were pretty much best friends before we starting dating. We've shared a very deep bond before and during our relationship and have maintained it even after the break-up. It's not like we fought a lot or had a violent or distructive break up, he just decided he would be happier as friends. I know I'm probably being distructive to myself, however, I really don't want to drop all communication with someone that I'm so close to. We have helped and continue to help each other out through some of our most difficult decisions during both our friendship and while dating. Our friendship is not something that I'm willing to throw away as long as we both want to work on it. I had just hoped that by now I would atleast be close to beginning to get over him, and while it has gotten easier, it's still incredibly difficult. Now I'm just at a total loss...

For some reason I have felt so incredibly lonely today... It could have been because I went out with a group of people yesterday and they were all happily married or dating... or it could be because I'm realizing how long it has been since I've actually seen him due to his out of state job... I'm trying really really hard to not want to be anymore than friends... but we talked on the phone today for a really long time... I had been doing relatively decent, but the longer we talked, the more I missed him... When does it become easier?

Ok... so I'm going to try pull away a bit... I'm not going to be there everytime he calls... I'm going to be supportive but try not to put myself out there like I have been. I'm going to try to take care of myself... please keep me in your thoughts... this is going to be a very hard transformation to make...

Me and my ex stayed friends after we broke up, we still are... I enjoy being friends with him, and I never really want that to change. However, it makes it really hard on me sometimes, 'cause I really want us to be back together... I don't really know your story, but before I made a decision to become friends, I would make sure that you wouldn't be hurting yourself in the long run... that you can handle just being friends and not wanting more.

Thank you both for your support. I know I should talk to him about it... but, I talked to him today... it turns out, he's seriously considering staying in the state that he is currently working in (fifteen hours away)... as in, not coming back to college after the summer. Atleast, not for a little while...Obviously, it was just wishful thinking on my part that he would still care for me in that way. I know I need to get over it and move on, but I don't know how. And I don't want to just totally stop talking to him, considering we're friends... I don't know what to do... I just found this out, about half an hour ago... How do I learn to be his friend instead of his girlfriend? This hurts so bad...

Hello everyone, This is my first post here. I'm a 19 year old college student in a very confusing and hurtful situation. It began last year, first semester of my freshmen year in college. I met a guy and we became extremely close friends. I was closer to him than any of my girlfriends. We helped each other adjust to the newness of living away from home and the stresses of college life. Our friendship began to grow into something more. I began staying over in his dorm on a regular basis and eventually it became "official." We did everything together. It was the happiest time of my life. We were inseparable. Anytime we were together we were happy. It was a very intense relationship; mentally, emotionally and physically. In the spring, as the school year began to come to a close, things began to change. He became unhappy with our relationship. One night, he told me he would rather just be friends. I was completely crushed to say the least. However, it turns out, when he said he still wanted to be friends, he meant it in every sense of the word. He said he didn't think he could handle it if we weren't still friends. So, we continued to hang out all of the time, like we used to. It hurt me, to be around him so much and still love him, but it made him happy, and, even though it hurt, I still enjoyed his company and couldn't imagine a life without him in it. I stayed confused, because when we were together, he would do little things, like rest his hand on my leg, even though he probably didn't realize it. The end of the school year came and now he has left for another state to work for the summer. I thought that this may give me the chance that I need to heal so that I can start fresh in the fall semester. I was wrong. We talk almost everyday, and when we don't, I find myself missing his calls. So, here I am. I don't know if he still cares for me as a girlfriend and he doesn't know how to tell me, or if he just really cares for me a a close friend. I wish desperately that we could get back together. I am afraid to speak with him about it, because I fear losing him completely. However, he does know that I still care for him. More than anything, I can't imagine a life without him in it. I don't know what to do anymore... Any advice would be welcome. Thank you.