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Imspongebobwitoutpatrik

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  1. Imspongebobwitoutpatrik
    well i went to councellor today.i did cut myself again and they made me sign a contract saying i wouldnt do it.(and removed all sharp objects from the house) and there putting me on a new medication, i forgot the name of it. i feel a little bit better now that i went there though. i am just going to relax n chill out for a bit n school starts back up on monday, so i have something to look forward to for now.
  2. Imspongebobwitoutpatrik
    Well i have been off my medication for like 2 weeks now... I was at my weekly appoinments and my councellor dosnt even remember my name. My mom hates me and my sister is just a removed by moderator> 24/7. I literally have 0 friends to talk to.(accept for people on msn).. But right im just feeling really depressed and not needed for anything anymore i feel like a waste of money a waste of space and time i havnt even left my room for 2 days. no1 even notices me anymore. im jus forgotten but thats the way i like it. no attention so i can kill myself in peace. but i still dont want to die sometimes.i really need some help. its nothing new. i am going to councellors n i hav been ordered by probation officer to go to anger management.(i dont know y im not angry)But nobody is helping me. ive been pushed to far this last week. cant help but cut myself some more.
  3. Imspongebobwitoutpatrik
    i stopped taking it cause all i feel like its doing is making me really tired. i have to take a pill at night and i go to sleep til 4am then im up until i have to take another half a pill then im asleep all day after that the med is risperdal
  4. Imspongebobwitoutpatrik
    ok well i am going back to highschool in like 3 weeks. hopefully i will make some friends n stuff... kinda nervous. i havnt had any thoughts or even tried to hurt myself for a few weeks now. i stopped taking my medication though for 2 weeks now and im doing fine. I am applying for jobs at grocery stores n stuff and ill meet even more people. its really hard cuz i feel still very alone through all of this. but thats pretty much whats goin on at the moment.
  5. Imspongebobwitoutpatrik
    I havent had internet for awhile now... a couple months maybe. I have been in St lukes hospital behavorial center for teens because i tried and failed to commit suicide. I sliced my forearms open 15+ times. Well it didnt work and right now i am saying thank god it didnt. My sister happened to walk into the room and see what i was doing to myself and i immediantly stopped cutting and tried to hide it. It was too late she had already seen my arms and told my mom that day. That day the police an ambulence and crisis team came over to my house and took me to the hospital. I was there for a little bit til they decided to send me to a councellor and a doctor. I am right now going to councelling once a week and see the doctor every week as well. My doctor has me taking Risperdal which helps with my mood swings i guess. They found out that i am bi-polar so they gave me this stuff. And my councellor is helping me with depression. And right now i am glad i did not kill myself. To anybody who wants to kill yourselves please dont. Depression is very treatable ive been where you have been i never saw a no point in living. You have to talk to people to help yourself, if you dont you will probally ultimatelly end up killing yourself, there is a reason to live you just have to find it.
  6. Imspongebobwitoutpatrik
    k well i decided im going to just end my life. Im done trying bye thanks for the help
  7. Imspongebobwitoutpatrik
    i dont know how i would get ahold of a doctor unless i went to a hospital? my mom dosnt even know. i dont think.if she dosnt idk how i would tell her. i dont want to tell her
  8. Imspongebobwitoutpatrik
    well thanks u guys.. i guess ima go get some applications from some grocery stores around here i dont think i culd get anything better than that. i still dont know where to start about taking ged classes.i just thought ill ask my sister about her asking a teacher at school for me or sumthn. thanks alot
  9. Imspongebobwitoutpatrik
    well my dad died when i was 10. and i dont talk to my mom. we see eachother in the house.just nothing is said. my mom is going to throw me out because im a bum i dont do anything. +we dont have very much money we live in a rlly poor area, i know she struggles with the bills i meen my internet was shut off 2 weeks ago and we had it turned back on this week. i was trying to get information about ged classes other day. i dont want to go back to highschool. i will be the dumb 17 yr old guy in a class with a bunch of kids but i do want to change
  10. Imspongebobwitoutpatrik
    Well, i hav no1 else to talk to... i found this site i jus needa vent my problems i think i need advice When i was 15 i was on highschool football team everything was goin good for me... 2nd semester i started to fail all of my classes gettin high with my friends all the time cut class everyday...got suspended at the end of the year failed 9th grade. Had to repeat it. I dropped out. I registered with some online schooling quit it after couple weeks. I did nothing for 2 years. Just sat in my room pretty much for 2 yrs. It feels like ive lost a way to communicate with people.. idk. Im 17 now. i have about 6 months b4 my mom kicks me outa the house. I have no education. cant get a job.i feel like * * * *. i dont know wut to do. if i had a gun right now i would kill myself. my problems seem pretty pathetic huh?
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