kd78

God I have been single all this year... now he's smsing me and ringing me to see if I am alive, and hoping I have a good easter whatever I am doing. Then emailing and asking when I will be in europe and maybe he will be in europe then too...

Question also... My ex (since Jan after almost 6 years) has been contacting me with increasing regularity. He is seeing someone else (a girl he had a crush on at the end of our relationship). We had been kinda friendly since the break, but I havn't been chasing, and only replying back to his emails if they justified a response. 3 weeks ago we were at a mutual friends birthday party, and ended up having a very long conversation where he was saying how much he missed me, and that no one could replace me, he wanted to take care of me etc etc.. (new gf was there, but asleep) So in the last couple of weeks since then he has been emailing me more often, sms'd and rang me for the first time since we have broken up, but not really saying anything... like hopes I have a nice easter wherever I am going, and checking that I am alive... But as far as I know is still seeing the other girl. Should I try and find out if he is just trying to be 'friends' in some misguided kind of way? I feel like I am taking any contact in the wrong way, and am just setting myself up for more hurt. Should I continue no contact, or try and sit down with him at some stage, and try and "get on the same page". What if he doesn't know?

God my ex is confused too... He emails saying he misses me, and no one will replace me, but is still seeing the other girl (broke up with me, started seeing her very soon afterwards). I am just going to leave it all alone for a while, as I am getting well sick of it all. His confusion could be everlasting, and I deserve, and will get much better than that..

Thanks guys... Now to take care of myself!!

Hmm, long story short, in early December, my boyfriend of almost 6 years confessed that he had a crush on another girl, and that he didn't know what to do. He seemed unable to pick between us, but in the end I decided that he couldn't be trusted with my heart, after I saw the body language between them. By this stage we had broken up, but still spending time together, living together, and gone to weddings?? Background We lived together, and had done for around 4 years. I would say 90% of the time it was good. He did seem to have some panic attacks around commitment, but I was in no desperate hurry so didn't push. NOW After a big group holiday which she was a part of, he still wasn't over her. So the next day we went and saw the counsellor again. With me saying you either had to work with me on our issues,(whatever they were) or move out. He still couldn't decide, so I had to kick him out. There was 1 month trial separation with No contact. At the end of the month, we caught up again. Ex didn't think that he was the one for me. As he wanted to be able to run away and go climbing, and would resent me in the future.. Ok this sucks, but I could see where he was coming from, and if thats what he wanted to do then fine. He had started seeing (kinda in his words) the other girl who was as manic a climber as he is. Over the next month there was only contact to organise him getting the rest of the stuff out of our apartment, and he always instigated any contact. He wanted to be friends, I said not straight away. But every couple of weeks he would send me a little email, like that his little brother got engaged. Always in the end of these emails was a little, I think about you all the time, I miss what we had together, no one will ever replace is... etc The first time I took as a complement, the second time I said that I didnt' want to hear about anything to do with our relationship for at least a few months. Well the third time is below.. I agreed to go to commonwealth games weightlifting with him as I had bought the tickets a year ago, and specifically for him... We always got along very well, so afterwards he sends this.. again in the third paragraph.. " I don't know if you noticed but I actually got quite upset after our little weightlifting night out. Sitting in the car waiting for you to come back I felt very lonely. The main thing I miss between us is the sense of relaxation and comfortableness we had together. I just don't feel the same with other people." At which point I got angry, and asked him to respect my wishes, and NOT bring this stuff up, as it wasn't fair to anyone. If he wants to talk about the relationship seriously, then fine, but otherwise I didn't want to hear about it. Especially as he is still seeing/ sleeping with/ spending every weekend climbing with the other girl, and I don't want to do what she did to me.. he agreed and apologised and promised not to do it again. Last weekend I had a mutual friends 30th, which involved camping. Ex and new girl were there, but it felt ok, as I knew almost everyone there and had done for years. I talked to him, just pleasantries, and even her is passing.. In the morning I get out of my tent and ex is near my tent and visibly upset. I ask him what wrong. Apparently he is missing me even more, that no one will replace me etc etc, that after 3 months hes missing me even more. I basically tell him that even if its not working out with new girl, it doesn't mean we are going to work. And that he has to make himself happy first, and not come running back to me unless he really means it, not just him being frightened of not finding anyone else.. I don't want to be involved the way the other girl was. He sent me an email monday morning thanking me for talking to him, and that he now realises that his problems cannot be easily solved. I just can't help but think, how much can he really be missing me if he's still seeing the other girl? But its almost the exact same discussion I had with him 3 months ago- ie. make yourself happy, no one else can do it... but now hes saying he misses me, but is still with other girl. I wouldn't mind getting back with him, but I don't really feel that he can take care of me the way I deserve, and he's just panicking becuase its not working out between him and the other girl. He has to really KNOW what he wants.. We could definitely sort out our problems, but it would only work with hard work... 3 months ago he didn't want to put in the effort... Ex and new girl ( and me for the past 5+ years) have been quite actively involved in a sport where there are only 2 facilities for doing so in this town. I am going to keep seeing him around, but want to heal myself, as I realise his problems could continue on indefinitely. Do I continue to go there, and just be civil/friendly? Luckily he wasn't there tonight.. phew... I seem to have a strange situation where an ex who broke up with me, says he misses me, and makes effort to keep in touch and try and hang out... I can't help but think that hes keeping me on the back burner. I really don't want that.. I am just going to leave him alone some more, and try and get over this one. I am just over it going on for so long... So basically my questions. 1. If I run into him whilst during this sport how should I react? I really don't want to quit this sport as I am just getting good at it, and meet lots of nice people doing it. 2. If he emails another 'i miss you' type message, but he doesn't mention not going out with the other girl anymore, should I just ignore it, or reply back in a friendlyish manner at my leisure. 3. Just do no contact and get my head straight and let what will be be? 4. If mutual friends invite me to things where he (or the new girl) may be, should I go?