jennyblue

Hi- wow this whole thing sounds so familiar. I too am in that same boat. I am the wife though, married for almost 14yrs. w/ a child. I too just went along for the ride & now am needing help making my decision. I know what you mean about the whole passion thing-I too am so totally in love w/ the other person & he loves me too, has already divorced & is now waiting for me. I have the whole guilt thing going on because my spouse also is willing to work on all his issues & wants so desperately to save our marriage & he knows all about the OM & how I have been in the affair for over 10 mos. I feel so guilty for my child, but have longed for happiness for so long. My husband was gone a lot w/ his hobby & it was always just me & my child. I lived for her, my life was all about her, & that is good & wonderful, but I needed companionship so badly & wasn't getting it. Now I have met this person who relates to me so wonderfuly --will it fade?? Will it end-Is it a beginning to an end because they all say "when it's new it's nice" This is so hard & I'm glad I'm not the ony one going thru this. Good Luck & let me know what you decide. I think the real haunting question is do we make the decision to let our spouses go so that they can find someone who will love them the way we love the other people even though they are so hell bent on keeping us??

I have tried to get daughter to go to counceling, she hatefully refuses. She is in the house w/ him because he refused to move out-( I asked-a lot!!) She likes the house-she is 12-that is where her room is, & the computer & she likes having a nice home w/ all of her things--my apt. is not that great, husband refuses to give me any furniture & my income is not as great as his.

Here is my situation: I have been married for 14 years this April. My husband was always gone doing his hobby (Race Car Driver) -his hobby took up much time & $$--He would go to work at 7:30 in the morning & not return home until sometimes 12am or 1 in the morning or later. We have a 12 year old daughter. A lot of the time my daughter & I would have to call him just to say goodnight. This hobby was not cheap--It took a ton of money for him to do this. I really didn't care so much about the money, but more about the time. I would call him numerous times in the evening & ask how long til he came home & he would always say "In just a little while"--then like 5 hrs. later he would finally show. It seemed like when he was home he just made me feel guilty for being home. We had other issues on top of all that too. He likes porn as well as anal sex--I do not like either. Sometimes he would try to force the sex part on me, even if I was crying and asking him to stop, he would proceed. Well, I met someone at work who was going through a bad marriage as well. We began to have an affair. That was 10mos. ago. He has since got divorced. I began divorce proceedings myself. My husband now knows of the affair. He is desperate to save our marriage & has began to sell all of his racing stuff. He has been coming home every night & has changed so much. Now, I fear it is too late for me to go back to him. I feel like I really love this OM & he is desperate to be w/ me as well. The horrible part is my 12 yr. old daughter is threatening to kill herself & acts as if she hates me now. I love how the OM makes me feel though, it's like our personalities fit so perfectly. What do I do. I feel so pressured by the OM to not go home ever again unless it is to get my things, but my daughter is there & then I want to stay for her. I miss her so much. (I have my own apt. but go home sometimes.) I feel like my mind is so bogged down. I have went to counceling but still feel so confused. What do I do--I need help so very badly!!!!