LostBoy

My ex and i had been broken up for over a year, we never had NC we remained close friends and still fooled around for the first 9 months, she had a few encounters with other guys , but never a relationship and but this caused me pain, but she wouldnt let me move on because she said i will still the person closest to her heart and that she still loved me...i asked her to come back then...she said she wasnt ready.......i felt like it was in no-mans land and couldnt find the exit. Well i am still seeing her every week or so and just a few days ago she was having a bit of a tough time at home and i came over to see her for a bit and chat, well she was very happy to see me and we hugged each other tightly and kissed...i asked her why she doesnt come back to me and she replied that shes got important uni work in the next week and cant think of things like that right now....but she also said after that is finished and she is able to delagate some time to her other issues in life, would i consider taking her back...i said yes very quickly without really thinking about it. After i left i began to to think should i really take her back?...now ive had problems realising my true feelings in the past because of being so negative in life and having low self esteem...i just seem to not be able to make important decisions in life...i seem to do everything on the emotions in the 'now' and am not able to really deconstruct issues and resolve them. Im very lost....i want her back she makes me smile....but another part of me says i hung around too long and i should move on.... any words of wisdom greatly appreciated.

I've been broken up from my ex for just over a year now, we continued on as friends after the breakup without any proper NC. I never really got over it properly and i now maybe have a chance to pursue another relationship with someone else, but i im still very messed up and i want to be able to give all my heart and soul into my next relationship, but my ex is still very much in my thoughts...she says she still loves me and holds me dearest to her heart...i cant think clearly at all and i dont want to string any girl along... Any advice however straightforward is very much needed.

Im still fighting it though , i have my half ok days and my down right miserable days. My Dad said to me the other day, "why do you look so glum all the time, i never see you smile anymore" that really struck a chord within me...i really do want to smile, i sometimes feel i have actually forgotten

Hey lgirl im in the same boat, my ex broke up with me almost a year ago and i find extremely hard just to get some peace of mind and to try and concentrate on other factors of my life. I feel i have a lot to gain in the world but am so confused on how to go about it, my self esteem is at an all time low and it really effects my choices in life and makes me feel very negative about everthing. And considering it was my first major relationship and it lasted 3 years from when i was 17-20, it has drained my confidence in everything i do and want. But i know and hope in time my mind will be stronger, soul will be able to love again and body will be healthier.

Any other helpful advice, its been a tough few days.

Thank you for the kind advice newts, one part of me wants to remain friends in the future but i think thats just my strong feelings for her pushing that thought into my head, i will have a much better outlook when i have a clear mind and can look at things in proper perspective. Thank you again for listening to my problem.

A blue eyed boy meets a brown eyed girl... I was with my first gf for just under 3 years, we lost our virginity together and we shared many happy times. In Feb of 2005 she broke up with me because of her not wanting to be in a relationship, during the last year of our relationship i became insecure about her going out and partying , although she didnt do it that regulary. I could tell that she wanted to be free for her last year of highschool (this being the start of the exciting times for her). As 2005 progressed as us friends i didnt move on and my life as whole didnt either i had lost my job and was very lost in my entire existence and still clung on to the hope one day she would come back to me, she became close friends with a male, though nothing sexually or intimate happened between them. I was very jealous of this and it ate me up inside. At the end of 2005 she kissed 2 guys at end of year parties(one was the close friend) and didnt tell me until a month later, this spiralled me into some very depressed times and i was so insecure that i read her emails and msg logs. When i did it for the last time 1 week ago, she found out what i was doing and was hurt alot. I was racked with guilt and couldnt believe i did such a thing to a person i cared for so much. We had also kissed for the first time in over a month this night. After not speaking to her for 4 days i had thought about how to move on with my life and get myself on the right track. Today she called me and sounded cheerful and was willing to speak to me and even organised to see my tomorrow. I rang her later that night and said that i cant see her anymore and that i need to move on , she said ok without really sounding like she was comprehending what it meant. I hope i made the right decision, but im leaving my best friend and only friend atm. I feel like im starting school again with no friends and just the big world out there. She also bought us tickets to a music festival for christmas that happens in two weeks time and im at a loss if i should go by myself or give them back or even go with her as one last hurrah. But will that just prolong the grieving process. Kind regards Lostboy