HAYLE

I just need some advice. I am 48 and my husband of 5 months is 47. We lived together for about a year before we got married. I knew that he looked at porn some and we talked about it but told him I understood the need for it for men at times. Yes I have been reading all of the posts on here about porn and we all have different views. I just found out quite by accident that he has been looking at porn at least every chance he gets. This isn't the problem. The problem is that every porn site that he has been on is "Teen". Yes I know they are legal, but some of these girls are dressed and really do look like they are 14 yrs. old. I can understand the desire to look at porn and our sex life is good and I know that he finds me attractive. He shows me all the time. I just can't get the images out of my head or understand why of all the stuff on the net that he wants to see "barely legal", teens. We have discussed this at length and he tells me that he will no longer look at teen porn. I have told him it is ok to look at adult porn-I just can't handle the teen thing. Well that was a month ago. Now I have just found out that he is still looking at teen porn. He tells me he does not know why. It has now become a whole different issue because he has now lied to me and lost my trust. Any help would be appreciated.

Well here I am again. As you can read from above I was the one whose husband promised me that he would not look at "teen" porn anymore. I told him other adult porn was ok and he promised he wouldn't look at it again. Well, quite by mistake I found out he has been. I ask him why and at first he denies looking at teen porn but-he knows the evidence is right before him. He just says he doesn't know why and that he won't do it again. He has now lied to me and now the issue has become a trust issue. I'm confused and really don't know what to do.

I met my husband on Yahoo personals. I also have a 29 year old daughter who really doesn't need the personals because she is beautiful (i'm a mom you know) but between working and school didn't have time. I showed her what I was doing and she also started to look at the personals. She met several-as I did that just wasn't right. About a month after I met my husband she called and said she met this really nice guy. Well long story short-they are getting married this June. So there. You have a 48 yr old mother who found the man of her dreams and a 29 yr old daughter who also met the man of her dreams. We have to laugh when the 4 of us get together. It just seems so odd. But wonderful!!!

Actually I met my husband on one of the dating sites. We talked for a while by IM, then by phone, then we finally met. And sparks flew! Just be careful-what I like about the sites is that you actually knew something about the person before you ever even typed to them. You got an idea about what they were about. Also read the profiles very carefully. To me it was better than a blind date which I had a couple of. I was married for 25 years and then got divorced. I met my husband and my soulmate and now know what marriage and love are really about. I know-sappy-BUT TRUE!!!!

Thank you for all of your words of wisdom. We have talked about this at length but keep going around in circles. He tells me that he will no longer do this. He promises me. So now I have to trust that he won't. I asked him-Why teenagers? He has no answer. He just says he doesn't know. He thinks I should see a therapist to help me forget this problem. Hello, I wasn't the one looking at naked teenagers on the internet. I personally think that he has a problem but I don't think he will ever admit it. Still I am left with the images in my head of what he was looking at. Our marriage or at least our sex life may be in real danger.

Thank you for your replies. I'm not crazy after all. No I am not a powerful woman who intimidates him. Quite the opposite. He can talk to me about anything and he knows that. Now his ex-wife was and I think he has been doing this for several years. I'm just having a hard time getting over this teen thing. He says that none of it is real which I understand-but we have a lot to work through.

I just need some advice. I am 48 and my husband of 4 months is 47. We lived together for about a year before we got married. I knew that he looked at porn some and we talked about it but told him I understood the need for it for men at times. Yes I have been reading all of the posts on here about porn and we all have different views. I just found out quite by accident that he has been looking at porn at least every chance he gets. This isn't the problem. The problem is that every porn site that he has been on is "Teen". Yes I know they are legal, but some of these girls are dressed and really do look like they are 14 yrs. old. I can understand the desire to look at porn and our sex life is good and I know that he finds me attractive. He shows me all the time. I just can't get the images out of my head or understand why of all the stuff on the net that he wants to see "barely legal", teens. Any help would be appreciated.

Just wanted to let you know Moonglow that you are not alone. I am a 48 year old woman who has been married for 4 months. My husband is 47. This is the second marriage for both of us. We have known each other for about 2 years before getting married and also lived together. I knew that he looked at some porn, at that was ok. We discussed it and told him that I really didn't like it but I understood if he had to sometimes. Well did I get a shock when I was cleaning the computer and found a file with all of these web sites that he has been at. They are all teen porn web sites. I feel so stupid, disqusted and worthless. We had a very good sex life until recently when he slowed up a little. We talked about this and how hurt I was. I went on these sites, and yes I know they are legal, but they are dressed to look like they are 14-15. I was shocked and-don't get me wrong. I am no prude. I just couldn't believe it. I don't know if I can get over the fact that this is what he enjoys looking at. Kids. I could have handled it better if it would have been what I would consider an adult. He says that he will never look at these sites again but I also know that he has been doing this for a long time. I think my marriage is in serious trouble. Any help would be appreciated. Thank you.