funnygrl

Thanks for the advice. I think I am probably just not that interested in him because if I was I think I would be excited instead of feeling all of this pressure and so uncomfortable. Or maybe I'm just not ready, and if that is the case that isn't really fair to the other person anyway. Thanks!!

Hello - So I live in a city where it is hard to meet new people. My ex and I broke up a few months ago, and it was not a healthy relationship, he came on very strong in the beginning and then started acting weird and then we started fighting and then he kept changing his mind back and forth about what he wanted, we broke up, he wanted to get back together and I gave him another chance and he was really sweet, but then started acting like a jerk again and broke up w/me again. Then I found out he started talking to someone else while we were back together the 2nd time so he could be sure he had a buffer and wouldn't be alone. Basically he strung out our relationship until he was sure things might go somewhere with this other girl. Then a few months later he called me up one night telling me how much he missed me, he wasn't happy w/his new girlfriend blah blah blah, then the next day he was back in love w/her and trying to work things out and it was "none" of my business. Basically he wanted to see if I would still be there in case things didn't work out with her. So needless to say he is a big jerk and I was totally heartbroken all over again and had to start the healing process all over again. So, here is my issue. Its been a few months, and I made some new friends and they invited me out one night and wanted me to meet one of their friends. So I figure it can't hurt, we'll all go out and have a good time and if we hit it off maybe we can all hang out again. WELL...so I go out and meet my friends, and then this guy shows up (their friend) and he is immediately attached to my hip! I mean he starts asking me a million questions about me, telling me all of these things about himself, touching me, acting like he has known me forever. Now, he was a VERY nice guy and I could be attracted to him, but I feel so much pressure! I thought we were just all going out for casual drinks and then next thing you know I was on a double date. So when I was leaving he asked for my phone number and I gave it to him and he said he would call me over the weekend to make plans for next week, I said maybe Wednesday. I probably shouldn't have even agreed but I felt really pressured into it. So today, I suddenly have an email from him saying it was nice to meet me and is next Wednesday still good to get together? etc. Now, I am sure he is a very nice guy and is maybe just excited to meet someone, but he is coming on way too strong and I have decided I don't want to go out with him. I think part of it is he reminds me of how my ex was when we first met and the other part is that maybe I'm just not ready for something so serious, I really want something casual, but I get the feeling by how he is acting that he is interested in something more. I could be wrong, who knows anymore. But here is my issue...how do I turn him down after I kind of already agreed to go out?? I don't want to be mean, and I don't want my friends to think I'm rude, but I really do not feel comfortable going out with him now. Is that really awful? HELP!!

So my friends and I went away for the weekend with a bunch of other friends. Anyway, so one of our friends brought up her boyfriend and her boyfriends friend, who turned out to be a really nice guy, very cute, very personable, seemed stable and normal. We all hung out all night, towards the end of the night he and I talked for a while, and it turns out we work very close to each other. So I suggested that we get together after work one day, and he said he would like that and gave me his #. When we went back to the house we were all staying at, we kind of kissed a little bit and cuddled together the rest of the night. Nothing really happened, but then the next morning it was just awkward! Everyone was going for breakfast, but my friends wanted to go skiing so I stayed back and went skiing with them instead. We wound up being out all day, and when we got back to the house our friends had left, and he obviously went with them, so we didn't really say goodbye. My dilemma is I am not sure if he is really interested, or if he was just drunk and wanted someone to smooch on new years... I don't know if I should call him or text him, or just let it go. I know some guys don't like girls calling them, and I don't want to look desparate. I was thinking of texting him w/my # and saying to call sometime if he is interested in getting drinks, but I also don't want to look like I'm demanding and expecting that he has to call. What should I do?

Long story long...my ex and I broke up a few months ago. It was great in the beginning, but then it got messed up, he had issues and I had issues and we just reacted badly to each other. We broke up and he shortly started dating someone else and told me that he wanted a realtionship so badly, and maybe she was "better" for him. Needless to say I was devastated. We became friends, and then months later one night he starts telling me how much he misses me and thinks about me all of the time, how he is so sorry he hurt me and he wasn't happy at the time and thereforeeee couldn't give me what I wanted in a relationship. He then tells me that he is starting to not be happy w/his new girlfriend either. He said he was confused. I told him I would be there for him as a friend while he tries to work things out. I told him I wanted to try and give things another chance w/us and he said he was confused and had to work things out. A few days later we spoke on the phone and he became very rude to me and tells me that he felt guilty he told me those things and it was a mistake, and that he and his new gf have a "different" kind of relationship than we had, that he really cares for her and they are trying to work things out, but that is between him and her and its none of my business. Which is very true, but so harsh! Why bring me into it in the first place then?!?! We got into a big argument because he was so rude to me, and now he says that he doesn't think we should be friends, we should go our separate ways, because he has trouble being "just" friends w/me. Am I wrong for being so mad and hurt? I really care for him and wanted to stay friends, but now everything is so messed up. What should I do?