mbc9ie

the problem is that she doesnt wanna talk right now she wants to deal with it how she wants.. we believe that if we dont give each other space tht we will not be able to make it.. she has no where to go.. and the closest place i have is 30 min away.. she works nights and we are going to shared our sons time.. so we are just trying......... its so hard to just sit and watch the woman you love sit accross from you and realize that you dont matter like you used to...... I have to be strong to get her back...

becuase she thinks that as long as we live in that house together that we are going to argue till we get things cleared out.. and in order fro her to get a low income appartment being she doesnt make a whle lot of money... my income is to high.. if this is whay it takes.. then i will do what ever she wants

I have a few posts on here trying to explain my situation.... Lets see.. where do i start.... My wife says that she has fallen out of love with me, but she is willing to try and find that love that she has for me. we grew apart.. ad for the past 2 months have argued a great bit.. I have for that past 2 weeks.. stopped fighting with her.. i only talk not argue... She tells me that we need time to fix our problems.. that we need to fix our friendship before we can fix our marriage. we have a one year old son... she is 20 I am 28.... She wants a legal sepperation so that she can get into a apartment.. becuase together we are financially set but apart it makes it hard... She is willing to try and heal and give us anoher chance if we can..... The thing is is that when i touch her.. It makes her feel weird... She no longer wants me to see her with out clothes on.. I understand.. but it hurts... the problem is is that.... I believe her... but i miss her. And it is hard to not tell her she is beautiful.. and try to talk about what we are going through. I have pressured her and am trying to stop... it is hard, becuase she feels that i am not listening to her, i feel that she doesnt listen to me. We think tht the only way for us to fix our marriage is to be apart and hop that the space will heal.. and the missing will start.. things seem to be getting better... we are talking more.. she is calling me more.. and she is being some what playfull.. so hope all will change.. any tips in how to keep my self straight so i wont push anything on her.. is space what she really needs to fix things.. her hair is slowly falling out becuase of all the stress she has besides me.. but the stress of everything else is fueling the fire under her and I. So let me know what you all think.... now is the feeling weird about the touching, she says its cuase she is not in it right now.. is it becuase of the pressure and the problems we have, and will it come back when we start to get on better terms... as she says if she didnt wanna give it a try she would have stayed to fix things.. she doesnt know how to fix it but she is willing to try.. hope we can get through this. She wants to fall back in love.. but is not sure how..... and the weird ness to my touch she doesnt know how to get through that either.. and tips or advice? thanks.....

we had grown apart and she says she fell out of love but wants to give us a nother chance but doesnt know how to fall back in love.. she wnts some space... just i am making sure i am doing the right steps.. thank for the help0...

I dont know if we can but we both want to try and fix our marriage if we can... She fell out of love.. well we both started but i fell back, and she didnt.. she wants space to try and fix things... how can i let her kno i am still there and show her the things she fell inlove with in the first place.....

is there light at the end of the tunnel with taking time apart she feels that she can try and fix the dammage that we have created, and fall back in love with me... She cant promiss me that she can but she is willing to try and fix our relationship. she isnt going to lie to me.... she hasnt yet... I know everything..... Thats why we are open with our selves. We knew we had trouble we just failed to do anything when we should have. what do you all think

and she will tell you her self that i did not drive her into his arms... that it is not my fault that it is all hers.... and that nakes it harder on her... She is willing to try.. that all i need to realize.... so any tips on how to take it day to day... let me know......

I understand everyones point.. I need to give her space... In her eyes.. even though we are married.. we agreed to be apart.. so when it happened with the other guy.. it was not a relationship it was just to fill that need that she was to angry with me to let me fill.... And through this she has lost him as a friend. He walked away and said he wanted no part of it. And she wasnt upset she was mad cuase another girl had to tell her.... In her eyes he was only a friend that if something happened to fill the lonelyness that that was all it was.... did she like him.. prob yes.. did she want a relationship... no.. she has to fix her problems as well as me. We are going to take time apart to fix our friendship which is getting better... We have agreed that we are going to try and fix our relationship.... And try and seek counselling. We had good times before, and she remembers them. I am scared of losing her. I still love her... And she knows how bad it hurts.... She has Stress on her from multiple angles and problems from her past.... And then there is me. She even agreed that the other stress and problems are adding fuel to the fire. I have a hard time, becuase the past 2 months have been of me doing everything she wants.. nothing that i want..... she doesnt intend it that way... but she has always been that way. We are going to give it time and another try.All i can do is hope and believe in her and me...... She doesnt know how to try to fix our marriage.. but she wants to try .... So that all i need to remember and work on..... and towards me taking blame.. i feel it easier to accept responsibility for it and deal with it compared to dealing with it when it isnt my fault...... some times she is aggitated by me.. but then the rest of the time we talk and she is playful..... All we can do is work together to try and fix our problems. We have a very open (no secrets) relationship... I am not angry with her i am just hurt..... Is it wrong to feel like i am being replaced when she says that i am not.. that i need to just give her space to heal. in her eyes.. she feels that when her and the other guy slept together it was after 2 months of her and I being apart. ( she feels that were not together at the time becuase we agreed to be sepperated) AND that we do need to try and see if we can fix things one step at a time, one day at a time..... she is not totally at fault mutual problems brought us to this problem... It wasnt an affair that started our problems.. it was the pushing and arguing that did we had agreed that we would take care of each others needs to we figure things out.. but i screwed that up by wanting more.......... So she filled it else where. Which hurt. i am pushing...not trying to but if i dont give her the space and time then it will be over.. I know this.. but its so hard to just walk away.... After talking to her about the whole other guy thing... she asked me... "you really think that i am going to leave you for him, I am not if we cant get along and can not fix things that that will be the reason that we get a divorce" We are trying.. i just need to realize that and take it day by day

do you have to be legally separated if she is trying to apply for low income housing.. we can not afford two big rentals.... but we will still be married if we are legally separated right its basically time for the couple to try and fix the marriage.. let me know..

and we are spending the holidays together we have not given up on us.. we just need to work together .. does any one agree to that?

i think she is a young girl lost in a big wourld right now... stress.. job. car.. child... marriage it is alot for a 20 yar old......

poco i will say that I am 28 and She is 20 There is a relationship gap and if anyone feels like the parent it is me. She has always been friends with guys... The thing is is that she has fallen out of love ith me and wants to try to fix it... But doesnt know if she can.. cuase through the past 2 months her anger for me has grown.... but she doesnt hate me... she is just frustrated... she only wants the marriage ended if we cant get it to work... i just need to know what i can do to try to help... I am afraid that if i give her total space and all the young guys her age out there.. that she will get her self hurt.... we still kissed and held each other and and sleptr in the same bed.. then she felt that i wasnt listening.. and she turned off all emotion to me to i take it as make me listen to what she was saying.. then me trying to fix things.. i was not givingh her the space she wanted.. and she told me that once she built that wall that she doesnt know how to tear it own.. so now that i touch her it feels weird... i feel it to be that she wants me to touch her half way but on the other side she has made her self not like how it feels so she wont give in... So i wont push things... we got drunk one night with friends and she sat in my lap and held my hand.. and never realized she did.. she slept beside me in bed and layed against me got up got back in bed against me.. the next morning she said that drinking doesnt make your true feelings come out and that i was on her side of the bed... Is it possible that she blocked these feelings and she doesnt know how to take it down and now it is making things harder for her.... I have made the situation worse by talking about it to much with her, and i guess in her eyes being pushy.. i am scared to lose her.. any ideas she told me today that she needs space and to try and see if she can get through this , if she can she wants our marriage fixed... and if not.. then atleast friends... is there any light at the end of the tunnell? any questions?

i will say that she saw it as us being separated as in appart, i saw it as in separrated to give space.... what do i do... will space and time heal... she thinks it may... she thinks she is going to miss me.....

i will say that her sleeping with him was after her and i have agreed to be sepperated for 2 months... I did not give her the space that she needed.. she was lonely and after the one that she thought would never hurt her threw her out of the house... she ran to be comforted by a friend that she did not know all that long.. they were all friends.. she told him that it meant nothing and that she just needed that feeling .. and that when it was all done.. that they were only friends... he i believe thought it to be more.. so he backed out of the picture.... so through this she has lost a friend.. I feel that i drove her into his arms.... Am i right about this... she Just wants to breath.. and i have kept her mad.. becuase i am scared to lose the one i love.. to the point that i am afraid that i have made things worse... she is trying to get a place to stay so that she can clear her head to try to fix things... so that we dont have to share a house.... what do i do... do i believe that she really wants to try to fix our marriage like she says.. she says i need to stop bringing it up cuase it is making it harder for her to let go.... I need some one to talk to..... so any advise would be helpful....

but is it still possibel that she wants all this fixed... she has this anger towards me becuase she feels that i did not listen.. She told me that she just needed space .. but i was the one that was doing all i could to help fix our marriage... her sleeping with some one else after i hurt her with the argument was her filling that lonely void that she had she was angry and could not get from me what she needed... in her eyes she was sepperated she is 20 years old.... i dont think she realized that becuase we were separated and trying to fix things that we are still together .. she desnt consider it cheating.... I still love her and right now she is angry with me ... she still loves me but it doesnt feel like it used to.... she wants to try to fall in love again... but she doesnt know how to go about it... How do i get someone that thinks she is un helpable to get help....

Thank you.... She is trying to see if she can get a place to stay at for the time being to see if we can work it out... I guess i have pressured her to much.. all she asked for was space and i wanted to do everything to fix it. She wants it fixed but she isnt sure if she can get past it... Only time will tell... she is willing to see it work.. so i need to just give her what she needs...

I have been married for one year, and have been with my wife for 3 years total. we slowely grew apart. She told me that we need to fix things before they led us to a divorce. I dont even know where to start. I took it as all my fault.. we hurt our marriage together. She has pulled away from me. We agreed that we needed to take space so she can deal with her problems from her past and her feelings for me. She says that she loves me but not like she used to. We just had a child a year ago.. we have an awsome son... we love him so much. The thing is that i have fallen totally back in love with her. And that is why its hard for me to just give her the space that she needs. She wants our marriage fixed but need to fix our friend ship first. Now she says that if i touch her it makes her feel weird.. she put a wall up to block her emotions from me to help her deal with her problems.. she says that she is trying to fall back in love with me but doesnt know how to start. We argue beuase i feel as i have no say in what is happening.. I just want her happy i feel like i am excluded in fixing our marriage. She doesnt know if our marriage can be fixed but she is trying the best she can but doesnt want to speak to any one. I will say that being she is sepparated that (well there are no papers signed its a mutual agreement) she feels that if i wanted to go out with a friends nd see a movie that i can and if i need to feel love durring all of this she would understand... its the kind of person she is. the worst thing is that she became friends with a guy that would listen and it was helping her... i found out that they had held hands and peck kissed on the lips... she feels that we are not together right now being we are sepperated and 2 weeks ago we got into a fight.. a bad one and in anger she told me that all we had in common is a child and a ring. I bassically was angry and told her to leave.... i asked her to stay and she did... but that night she was angy and lonely and one thing lead to another and she slept with that friend... It didnt mean anything to her... but the friend bowed out of the picture and said that he wanted nothing to do with her and me. He was only a friend. She was not happy that she did it, but needed that feeling cuas at the time she could not get it from me.... She wants to try and fix our marriage.. but i am working to hard to fixit where she just needs time... Is there any advice on how to go about fixing what has happened.. I do not hate what she did.. i am hurt but i drove her to that place that she needed filled.... I love my wife... Is space what is needed.. is there anything I can do....