mikey24

Okay, there is this girl that I have known for a little over a year through a mutual friend. I've only seen her at various bars, and that is it. Well, a few months ago, I was dating someone, and she saw me with her, and she got jealous. Well, I am no longer dating that person, and this girl acts like she likes me, and is all into me, but when the night is over, it seems like she pulls a 360 on me and changes her mind. And when I say she acts like she likes me, I mean we make out alot, hold hands, etc., and we act like a couple. If she dances with another guy, I get jealous, and if I dance or talk to other girls, she watches me and gets jealous too. Well a few weeks ago, she said she wanted to spend the night with me and all that, and I was down with that. Well I was taking her back to my place, and all of a sudden she changes her mind, and calls some other guy and wants me to take her to his place. Well I did, because I mean she had no ride, and the guy lived by me, and we aren't bf/gf..but I must say it did bother me and I was kind of jealous. It's like she wants to be with me, but she is scared at the same time I think because she thinks I'm still seeing someone, but I am not, and also because the mutual friend we have is jealous of me and has spread rumors about me that aren't true. I really have started to like her alot, and we have each other's phone number, but we never call each other..we just always run into each other at a bar every weekend. I want to call her or text her, but I am afraid. I am afraid to tell her I like her, because it might scare her off...but right now I want to at least text message her and say hi or something. I think about her alot, and my gut tells me to pursue her more, but like I said, I don't want to scare her off as well. But I feel like if I don't do more, I could lose her completely. If someone could tell me what is going on, it really help..and also, should I try to contact her?

Hey Rainbow, That all makes sense, but its been 2 months? Is that a normal period of time? Plus, it's very hard sometimes to get her alone with me. When we first dated in 2003, there was no problem, but now I sense she kind of does. I think it's the trust factor with me. She likes to have a friend with her, or my friends at least around. Why? Is that normal as well? You think she will come around eventually?, I mean she is saying all this "I want you, I care for you, I like you alot, etc.", so I guess its getting better, but you tell me. Thanks!

Okay, so maybe I need more females opinions about this. I'm not sure. I have posted a few times about this, and I'm just wondering how long does it take for a woman to get over her ex in a serious relationship? I've been dating this girl for over 2 months, and it's like we get so close to something, and then it goes away..pretty much I take 3 steps forward, and she takes 3 steps back. This is the 2nd time we are dating, I met her a few years ago. I want her in my life so bad, and she tells me that she likes me alot, she cares about me alot, and says that we would make a great couple, and yet she still is "confused". She had been seeing this guy off and on for a few years, and she dumped him in November 2005. That's when she called me..I found this out a few days ago. I asked her if I was some kind of "rebound", and she said "no way", she just said that she wants to be with me, but she still loves and cares about her ex. Now alot of you have always said, don't state your feelings or anything like this, especially in this situation, but I took a big risk and did on New Year's Day on her voicemail when I had been drinking. We didn't talk for about a week, which was rare. Pretty much I was doing closure myself. Well, it worked and I think it scared her. Now she's calling me like crazy, wanting to see me, etc., BUT she is still very "confused". She says she knows her and her ex are bad for each other, and that's why she dumped him, so what in the world is going on here? I'm confused myself. Should I just keep waiting and relax, or what? I see her a few times a week, and we always have fun. We are very affectionate with each other and everything, that's why Still I don't understand. I mean, how long does it take for someone to get over her ex? Oh, and just yesterday, she texts me saying "I want to sleep with you". I think she meant just cuddle together, because she is not forward like that alot, but however she was meaning it, it's weird. I'm stuck, please help!

Well, I screwed that one up. I called her on New Year's Day at about 10:30 at night to wish her a Happy New Year on her voicemail. I was pretty tipsey at a party, but I really called because I wanted to put closure on it myself. I broke the NC, because it's just too hard. I said stuff like "I'm not sure why all of a sudden we're not talking anymore, and I'm not sure if you went back to your ex or you found someone, it doesn't really matter, I feel like I was a rebound or something. I wish that I wouldn't have started talking to you again, because I had a feeling this was going to happen, and that you knew I liked you alot. I just wish you would have told me something and put closure to this. I hope you made the right decision, and take care of yourself". Well last night she called me and left a voicemail on my phone saying this: "Hey its me, I got two questions..#1 How much did you have to drink before 11:00 last night, and #2 - I don't think its fair that your coming up with these assumptions. There was a few times I had called you after Christmas, and you didn't return my calls, and I didn't leave messages, but you know I really don't anyways. The voicemails you left me were very funny though repeatedly. So i guess call me back if you want, and if you don't want too, then I guess you don't have too. Bye" She also called my friend last night and talked to him for awhile, getting some information and stuff about me. I called to put closure to it, and it may have not been the right move, but if I didn't do that, It seems like I would just mope around about her, and I really am tired of doing that. But then maybe I was right to do that, because I put her on the spot. But as you can tell, she will not let me go, and she keeps me hanging on. Why is she doing this? Where do I go from here? Help! Then why did she go to all this trouble? Why did she call me again and do this? For what? That's where I think I was used to get over her ex, but I don't know 100 percent. If I was a "rebound", I am surprised that she would go to me, because we had already dated. Why did she say she liked me, wanted me, etc.? But the main point of this post is, she will NOT let go of me. No matter what, she just won't say goodbye. Why?

The only red flag that maybe I can tell you is that I have a kid now. When we first dated in 03, I didn't have one. But after we stopped dating, we talked here and there, and I told her I had a son. So why is it that she called me in late October, wanted to meet me, and all this? Why did she come back? So it can't be that I have a kid, because she already knew it. And plus she babysits kids all the time and loves them to death. That's why I keep thinking that I was a "rebound". So I know I'm bugging you with this, and I'm very sorry, but I am one of those people that really analyze other people, and if I have a chance at something great with a woman, I'm going to try everything I can before I walk away. And of course the feelings I have for her are making me like this. She said she is still in love with her ex, but wanted to be with me. It doesn't make sense. So should I just pack my bags and just say "syrinora" and just move on or what? And what if she does call or text again? What do I do? I mean, think about it. What would you do if you liked a woman so much, she told you these things, and you get ignored? How would you cope with that?

Okay Poco, I agree with all that you are saying. But you said: But see I didn't. I told her once, after a while because if you remember, this is not the first time we have dated, this is the second time. I've known her for 2 years. I told her because she thinks I'm a player and a * * * *. Now when she tells me this, she tells me playfully, but deep down inside she really does feel that I am, and so I felt that if I said nothing about wanting to be with her, she would think I'm still a player. Now maybe I shouldn't have told her I liked her alot, but if you were in my shoes, you would have done everything you could, because I had a "second chance", as you could say maybe. Now I agree with what you just said right here, but see this was not a first time thing. We know each other, so this is not someone I had just met 2 months ago. I'm not sure that even really applies to my situation. But maybe I'm wrong. You also said: The last time I saw her was last week after she had told me that she was confused and didn't know what to do because of her ex. Now when I saw her we had alot of fun at a bar with my friends, messed around, it was just like any other time we had been together. I never brought it up to her again about what she wanted. I said that day when she told me about all this, I said "I understand, I will hold back so you can sort your feelings out. We can just go with the flow like we are and see what happens". And she said okay. That's why I'm so confused Poco. Why stop talking to me now? I do agree 100% with what your saying though. Maybe the only thing we did alot was talk on the phone, which is not good. Like I said, it's very hard for someone to like me and pay all this attention to me, and then now its gone. No explanation, no nothing. There's absolutely no closure to this at all. As you can see, I'm really having a hard time with this. I had a hard time the first time we stopped talking in 2003, and now it's even worse than ever. I know what you are saying, there's nothing I can do left anymore. But I will tell you, it's very hard to accept that. I'm thinking over and over of what I did, and I can't think of really anything at all. I just want a clear answer as to why she had told me 2 weeks ago, "she was confused but she wanted to be with me", and now nothing. Why go to all this trouble, blah blah blah, and split? There is no closure and that's why I'm sad. She won't tell me "no". She is leaving me hanging man. That's why I'm so confused and tore up.

Her personality..well, she has trouble being open about things in person or on the phone, that's why most of the time she texts it to me..just like the one about the ex and her parents. She's only open with her feelings most of the time when she is drunk. She didn't say her parents were trying to get her back with her ex, but pretty much you could say they are. Her parents invite him to certain things. I am assuming she did dump him, especially if her parents are still wanting him around, but I really do not know. But its funny, because a part of what you said is very true and you hit the nail on the head: She texted me this a few weeks ago: "I Like You Too Obviously, But I Don't Know How To Handle It". Her family is a little wealthy, so maybe she is pressured to please them. I could not tell you. But I'm not a peasant or anything, I have a great job and live on my own, and I have talked to her mom a few times on the phone. She recently bought a condo and is moving in it March 1st, she still lives with her parents right now. To me, I just don't understand why her sudden ignore towards me. Everything was fine, there was no arguments, and now she is just drifting away. It makes no sense whatsoever. To me, it just doesn't make any sense how for 2 months, we can't even keep our hands off each other, talk all the time, and all these things she is saying to me, and BAM...only once have we talked in over a week. It's tearing me up real bad, mostly because we are good together, and I'm very pickey. I never settle for just anyone. And I don't know what to do now? Should I just move on and try to forget about it? And it's very unusual I text her, and she never even text me back..that is the first time she has ever done that. For a woman to say these things, yet start to ignore me = a very broken heart.

Okay, so I have posted here a few times in the last few weeks, and I know some of you, including PocoDiablo, are familiar with my story. I'm just wondering if I was a rebound. I mean, I date a girl for 2 months, everything is going great, very affectionate towards each other, she would call me and text me constantly everyday, and so I bring it up that I want to be serious, and she texts me that "she can't be serious because shes still in love with her ex, but knows they are not good together, and she wants to be with me". So now, its been a week, we've talked once and that's it. I texted her Wednesday to see if she wanted to do something, and I have gotten no response at all. It's unbelieveable. I feel like I was her back-up or maybe she used me to get over her ex. I don't know. I just think it sucks, and it has hurt beyond belief. There is absolutely no closure here, and I am doing NC, but it's very very hard. I know the statement "Kill her with silence". And I am trying. But why? What happened that all of a sudden a woman just goes from hot to cold like that? Why does she tell her friends and my friends she likes me too, and then nothing? I have a feeling she went back to her ex, but why after 2 months? I mean how long does it have to be to consider a "rebound"? I am not going to call her again, I'm promising myself that, but it is VERY hard to just all of a sudden stop what I'm doing. It makes no sense and it hurts. I admit I cry a few times and my nerves are going nuts. I'm trying to relax, but I'm sad because I feel that I was just used for someone to get over her ex, but I don't know that. It just really is a let-down.

I still just do not understand what I'm doing wrong, and I again, I need help on this one. Okay, so about a week and a half ago, I made a post about this girl that I just really like, and I had titled it "WEIRDEST POST YOU EVER READ". If you had read it, then you remember it, but if not, here's a brief refreshing: I've been dating a woman for about 2 months, and this is our 2nd time trying this. We dated briefly in 2003. Well, I brought it to her attention that I want to be bf/gf and take it to that level. She never gave me an answer until the next day by a text message that said this: "Hey I'm Sorry I Fell Asleep Last Night. I Like You a lot Too But There Are A Lot Of Things Going On In My Life That Make It Hard to be Serious with Someone, like the fact that my parents love my ex and Invite him to everything which makes me mad or the fact that I do still love him but I also know that him and I aren't good together. So I Am Really Confused Because I Love Hanging Out With You - You Are so Laid Back Which I Love and We Have Fun, But at the same Time I Don't Want To Get Hurt, But Sorry for the Novel. I just felt Like I Had Some Explaining to Do. Have A Good Day and if It makes it any better, I Wanted to Be With You" Well, ever since Thursday, I have not talked to her. She called me once, and I called her back on Christmas Day and left a message on her phone wishing her a Merry Christmas. It seems like I'm some kind of back-up or something for her to lay on, I'm not sure yet. I have a feeling she might have gone back to her ex, but I don't know. I know all of you will just say to move on, but it's really hard to when I feel that she is the "one". I have dated other people before her, and it just has made me want her even more, because it's like nothing compares to her. I have more chemistry with her than anyone else. But pretty much what it boils down to is, I'm pickey and I just know that we could have a very good thing together. I'm thinking that if I walk and give her NC, I'm pretty much just slapping life in the face. What in the world do I do? I need to chill out, yes, but when you feel it and you know it, it's very hard too relax, especially in this situation. And also especially when she thinks I'm a player, and has some trust problems with me. Help!

I talk to them over the phone sometimes, and yes sometimes I hang out with them. But she has seen my phone book and saw alot of womens names on it. I have more female friends than male. What I did to make myself look bad was telling her how many women I have had sex with. She asked and I gave her an honest answer. She was frightened of it. She has trust issues with me. I don't lose my temper, and we have never had an argument, we discuss things if something comes up. Yes sometimes I do have that. The thing is, I've dated alot of women, and I am always the dumper, because I just don't feel it. But it's weird, because I feel it with her big time. What would be the right thing to do then? Should I text her back? Meet her in person? Talk to her? As you can see, alot of people are giving me different advice, and I like your's the best. I cannot walk away from this girl. I can't give up because if I do, I know I'm possibly throwing away the best thing. Should I touch her anymore?

Hi Pocodiablo, What I mean by that post is, she thinks I am a player. She is scared of me. I am friends with lots of girls, and she asked me how many people I've had sex with and regretably, I told her the real number, which made her think. I did used to play around when I was 19, 20, but that is a long time ago. I am almost 25, and I am past that. She told me her best friend Katie was calling in, and she said "I wonder why she is calling me this late", and told me she would call me back. It was late, and she could have fallen asleep, who knows. She does like to text alot. She has a hard time sometimes of telling me in person what her feelings are, unless she is drunk. That's just the way she is. She's shy. Once in a while she will open up in person, but not much. All of her friends have told me she likes me alot, but that she is scared. That is all they say. So yesterday, I just hit her with a ton of bricks and flatly told her that I want to be with her, and I pretty much want a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship. I couldn't take it no more, I just have way too many feelings for her. She thinks I'm the "bad boy" type. The one that cheats, sleeps around, lies, etc. And I proved to her I wasn't by telling her I want to be with her. I am so pickey, and I know there is a good thing sitting right here, and I want to do everything right to not screw this up. I like your advice, I think it's great. But is there anything else you want to add that might help me after I explained this a little better. Thanks, and I hope to hear from you.

Okay, there is this woman that I have been dating for a little over a month. I really like her alot. She is 23 years old. Well, I brought it up to her yesterday that I wanted more than what we had, because we only see each other once, maybe twice a week, and that she thinks I play around alot which I don't. Well, we talked late last night, and she said she had another call, and would call me back. Well she didn't call me back and she TEXTS me this on my cell phone this morning: "Hey I'm Sorry I Fell Asleep Last Night. I Like You a lot Too But There Are A Lot Of Things Going On In My Life That Make It Hard to be Serious with Someone, like the fact that my parents love my ex and Invite him to everything which makes me mad or the fact that I do still love him but I also know that him and I aren't good together. So I Am Really Confused Because I Love Hanging Out With You - You Are so Laid Back Which I Love and We Have Fun, But at the same Time I Don't Want To Get Hurt, But Sorry for the Novel. I just felt Like I Had Some Explaining to Do. Have A Good Day and if It makes it any better, I Wanted to Be With You" So yea, I wake up to see this on my phone. I was very shocked to see this, and am a little upset that she would TEXT me this, and not tell me this in person. She is shy sometimes, but that's insane. I haven't responded or called her yet. I mean what do you say to something like that? Where do I go from here? I really need help on this one, because I really like this person and I just don't know what to do now.