First let me say I am by no strech of the imagination a professional at giving advise.I do feel for you and the major drama that you have been through.I am very sorry to hear about your Dad.I have not ever had a relationship with my dad due to a early divorce with my mother and for that I feel less than whole.I am a father now and know from the love of my oldest daughter how much a Dad can influence a daughters life.I feel like your mother (although she probably just wants the best for you )is doing more harm than good by pushing you so hard.It sounds like you are makeing the grades and staying out of trouble and mom may be punishing you to make up for mistakes she made growing up.hate is a strong word and I feel like you hate the way your mom is pushing you not the fact that you hate her.You also said that if you started loving you dad again you couldnt handel it again.if you think handleing your dads sickness was hard, try handling the fact that you didnt show your dad all the love before he goes.thats what would be hard.I know I have not been a welth of info but,God only gives us what he is sure we can handle so be all you can be for your dad while he is with you,be true to youself and try to give mom another chance.Sit her down and talk to her like an adult and she will see the errors of her ways.I wish you all the luck in the world.
A friend
Dave
