Photo55

Well your family and friends aren't going anywhere so why not go..if it doesn't work, you can come home. Nowhere in the world is more than 24 hours away these days. As for 5 years being a long time..I did a 6yr LDR..he got called up to do military service too. I'm nearly 1 year in on another LDR too at present. LDR's are not for everyone thats for sure..

Ex dumps me for former partner 5 days NC then I send an email laying out my feelings. Next day I get sms - NC from me Next day another sms - NC from me 2 days later get email asking if I think we can work it out..I email back saying yes Next day he emails saying he wants to speak face to face Next day we meet...decide to work it out. Going slow with contact once a week until he can fully meet the criteria (my needs) I specified for getting it full on again. It was like meeting a new person..we are both now much more relaxed and it feels like the relatioship has transcended what it was before..definitely an emotional deepening.

If you don't know exactly what to say..best say nothing until you are sure you can cope with the potential for it to backfire.

Just wondering if it could be a strategy used by the dumper to offload the guilt of a breakup. As for NC being a strategy to win someone back then I would say that that is how it is viewed generally..if it wasn't, why make it any different to just moving on by giving it a name - I mean, if you were just moving on and didn't want to get back, what need would you have for contact anyway.

So you do NC and it works and the dumper says they want to get back. You have worked on healing yourself during NC so obviously, you want it to be different and to be more positive. You tell them this. The dumper says they can't make those changes. You are forced to say no go then and end it. The dumper gets what they want but has made you do it for them and feel good about it too. What do you all think? This just hit me today.