ruby05
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you sound like you know what you are talking about. he treats my 14 year old just like you say your dad treats you. he has even nailed up the back door and her window and put a camera outside accusing her of sneaking out them. he does me the same way. will get upset if he comes home and i have vaccuumed because he says i am trying to cover up some man's footprints! i found a whole survelance system in my attic one time where he was recording the front door and yard while he was at work at night. i caught him watching one of the tapes and got really angry. but the problem i think, is that i have put up with so much i have became numb. these things might seem like a big deal to everyone else and they can't see how i put up with it, but to me, it's just the norm i guess.
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he is the father of all three kids. 2 girls 12 & 14 1 boy 7 1/2 the girls called the child abuse hotline to try to get us to break up. that's how bad it is. we have a counselor who come to our home once a month now. there was no child abuse involved and it has been established that they were just trying what they could to get me to move. i am so confused and i feel so stupid every day. i even tell myself outloud how stupid i am, without meaning too. maybe i am crazy.
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i have stayed with him that long because he kept me depressed and would never let me out of the house alone. plus i had three small children and no money or resources. i could never have a job or a car or anything. i finally woke up and got myself a job and a car and have become much more of a real human, but i still can barely go to the grocery store alone or he is accusing me of being with some guy. this has been going on for atleast 10 years. i was totally innocent, no other man involved until this one showed up and made me think about how it really could be. people always tell me to watch out cause of the grass being "greener on the other side." the grass would HAVE to be greener on the other side, because in my case, the grass is dead and brown and has been for years.
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no, my kids haven't met him. but i know he would be great with them, because he is the most devoted dad ever to his own. he has also told me that the only problem i would ever have with him is that he would have my kids spoiled rotten! i thought that was sweet. i have been with my current since age 15. i have never been on my own or single.
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your reply brought tears to my eyes. finally, someone understands where i'm coming from. my friends and family say, "just leave." but you pin-pointed what i couldn't. it's scary. thank you. i was afraid i would be condemned for finding someone else while still in the relationship. i didn't go out searching for him, it just happened like love at first sight on both ends.
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i do not love or even like my boyfriend of 17 years anymore. i do not want him to talk to me, look at me, touch me or anything. everything he does gets on my last nerve and it is making me miserable. he goes from one extreme to the other. one minute he's pulling the old "pull my finger" and "smell this" crap that i think is childish and disgusting. and then the next he's yelling at me and our kids like a baby hitler. i want to break up, my two girls aged 12 & 14 say they hate him and want me to leave him. i found someone else a year and a half ago by accident. he seems perfect to me. he's all i can think about. i think i am on the verge of obsession.i can see my life being so much different with him. he's much more my type. he keeps asking me to leave and be with him. says he can make me happy if i will let him. he's so handsome and thoughtful. there's got to be something wrong with me why i can't just say, "guess what. i don't like you and i'm leaving." i
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i know exactly what you mean. i have the same problem. i have been with mine for 17 years, since i was 15 years old. we have three kids. i can't stand even hearing his voice or looking at him anymore. i don't want him to kiss or touch me. it just groses me out. i want to break it off so bad, that's all i think about. i have even planned it all out and went house hunting. i even tell him, but i just can't seriously do it. it has nothing to do with my kids. they want me to break it off. so do my parents and friends. i just can't. i don't know what's wrong with me either. i too, hope that he dies. i know exactly what you mean.