someguy69

Tough call...

On one hand... they say "all's fair in love and war" -- and it obviously sounds like she's into you pretty strongly.

On the other hand, it's not too nice to her bf to steal away his girl, especially when she's making him a birthday present.

The best plan would be to involve the boyfriend. Then it will all be guilt free -- no cheating involved.

Maybe that's what she's working up to... a special two-girl birthday surprise for her boyfriend?

Sexuality is a broad spectrum from completely straight to completely gay... there's nothing wrong with being bi-curious and experimenting, and no need to stick a label on yourself.

If you've had fantasies about being with a woman, then there is absolutely no reason not to try (besides already being in a committed relationship of course -- and even then... there's a good chance that your man would be interested in sharing an experience with you and another woman... even if it's just watching).

Wow... that's quite the story... and certainly doesn't sound like the most healthy resolution... but indeed interesting.

Revenge feels good initially by relieving anger and "evening the score", but unless you can forgive each other, things will never be resolved.

Maybe you just need a loving alternative relationship free from monogamy, but also free from lies. Have an open relationship for a while and see if the rest of the relationship is worth keeping.

BTW... what sort of acts (if I may ask) does she not perform that she wouldn't in the past?

You will want to know the details, but it is better not to know.

The worst case scenario is that you will find ways that the other lover was "better" than you. With another male lover, anatomy plays a much larger role (maybe even literally). If the other lover had a larger penis, you're going to obsess over it no matter how superior you are in other ways.

The absolute best case scenario would be that the other lover was lousy in the sack -- but then why would the affair have carried on? Is she lying to protect your feelings?

There also lies the possibility that she may exaggerate certain details to get you to stop asking about it, or because she feels resentful.

Last, but certainly not least is (as previously mentioned) any activity that they did together... positions, sex acts, places they went, movies they saw, etc, etc, are going to be forever tainted for you. It's just better to avoid specifics.

I have tried to accept this as he says it is only fantasy. Here is the problem , due to his secrectiveness and what he does on computer . I have checked up on him through his computer, only to find disturbing porn, depictions of girl being raped, transexuals, incest that kind of thing. Our relationship is very strained due to some other things but I also think that he uses those things as his smoke screen.

Fantasy is fantasy, and doesn't necessarily mean there is something to worry about.

Studies and surveys have shown that the number one fantasy for women is being raped -- not brutal rape, more like being overpowered and seduced by an attractive stranger.

Some men are into transexuals because they are a little bit bi-curious.

Incestuous thoughts, deny it as everyone does, happen to everyone at some point in their life.

Watching a certain type of porn can actually lessen the intrigue with that fantasy, and prevent the temptation of making it a reality. (Initially the person may become more tempted, but eventually the subject matter will lose its appeal, and it will be no big deal).

Sexual preference is a spectrum ranging from completely straight to completely homosexual.

It can change over the course of your life, and no one should try and say that it is abnormal, or that liking the member of the same sex automatically makes you gay.

There is nothing wrong with experimentation, and no reason to stick a label on yourself -- just like how your friend said she was "having fun". She didn't want to put a label on herself.

We are all sexual beings.

Explore, experiment, but don't worry about labeling yourself.

Guys flirting... how about girls flirting?

I know for a fact that girls flirt to get special treatment.

A smile, a wink, a tilt of the head... maybe even giving a fake phone number can gain a woman all sorts of special advantages.

I also don't understand what the big deal is.

So what he went to see a porno movie?

I guess what confuses me is why doesn't he watch the porno movies at home with you?

The take off your shirt thing was definitely wrong, and the emotional abuse you suffered from him and your mother was horrible.

Pity him for his cruelty, but it is for you to decide if you forgive him (and your mother... she is equally guilty).

I hope some people do... I've never experienced that before -- though I came close.

I had just come seconds before, and felt as if I were about to come again.

I definitely felt something different going on inside her vagina... a sort of milking sensation. Maybe she was climaxing, or she was clenching some muscle... I'm not sure.

It's been scientifically proven that women are attracted to strong, tough manly men and "bad boys" when they are ovulating -- essentially women want to mate with "prime" genetic material.

The rest of the time, women are attracted to the type of man who would make a good father for her kids (seeded by the manly bad boys).

Women also like a challenge. They like the idea of being able to tame or convert the "bad boy" into a future "good father".

My recommendation is to agree with her, and do the same thing.

Hang out with some other chicks and see if she gets jealous... if she really likes you, she'll be chasing you down pretty quick.

If not, then good riddance.

Most men are attacted to younger women. It's genetic... young women are more fertile.

Also note that there's no problem with dating someone a little older than you, though I wouldn't recommend straying more than 5 or 6 years (at least until you're in your 30's) as you'll have too little in common.

I love it, and I take pride in it.

Any man who's not into "dining at the Y" should be suspected as being gay.

Bugging him isn't going to help any.

You're going to have to put some faith in him.

There have been studies, and for the most part, the erect size of the penis is pretty much the same accross the races, but the flacid size varies.

Black men tend to have longer flacid penises, and asian men shorter... but when erect they average out pretty much the same.

Apparently the strongest corelation to penis size is height (but just on average). In general, taller men have longer penises, and shorter men have shorter penises (and since taller men usually have bigger feet... the foot to penis myth carries a little weight)... but this is only a mild corelation.

May I ask how YOU can attest to the fact that it does NOT always hurt?[/u]

My girlfriend told me that she doesn't recall her first time (wasn't with me) being painful.

She attributes it to him not being all that well endowed.

If a girl's hymen is already broken (say through sports activities), and the man isn't huge, and care is taken, it can be pain free.

It's not only that men prefer a woman to be the same height or slightly shorter, I constantly hear about how much women dislike short men.

The majority of women will not date a man who is shorter than them.

I know 15 is young to start `doing' it! But all my friends are, and i'm not T.T I just feel left out in a way and want to do it to make myself fit in with everybody else. I would use protection if i wasn't so scared!! And, poor you person above me! Try and perswade your bf to not be afraid!

 

The worst reason to do anything (especially having sex) is to "fit in" or because "all your friends are doing it". You should do something only because you want to do it, and you are ready to do it.

 

As for sex, protection should be your number one concern.

 

As for the pain, if care is taken (slow, gentle, lots of foreplay), pain should be minimal.

Will she ever remember the good 'ole times, or is she always going to remember the reasons/feelings for leaving?

Sad to say, but I agree, most people remember more good times than bad... although, from my experience women can really, really, really hold onto a grudge and remember bad times forever.

If your relationship was bad enough for her to break up with you... then you'd best be thinking of moving on.

We aren't asking for an in depth conversation, but try this;

faster, slower, harder softer

OR just make some kind of noise, not ohhh baby, but uhhh you know?

Just moan, nothing loud like on pornos, just something.

"Mmmm, mmm, ahhh, mmm, uhhh" is about all the noise I can make without having to think about it, and I've been able to toss in the occasional, "oh yeah", "I like that" or "that's good", but my mind isn't thinking about talking, and I have to disturb my enjoyment to say a few words.

I've never been able to get my girlfriend to say, faster, slower, harder, softer... she tells me that what I'm doing is perfect and doesn't need any direction -- I think she wants to hear the same from me, but unfortunately I don't have much control over my erection, so she can tell right away if I'm not fully aroused.

I have a similar issue with my girlfriend.

I'm very quiet in bed (especially during oral sex), and she complains that I don't make enough noise -- she expects me to moan loudly or say things like, "ooh baby", "I like that", "that's good", etc, etc.

For me, I can't enjoy myself if I have to worry about talking -- and she certainly isn't talking to me when I'm going down on her.

It has in the past gotten to the point where she avoids giving me oral because she feels incompetent at it.

I feel under pressure to maintain a full erection, and moan and groan and say the right thing.

There are some communication problems as she wants feedback and me to tell her what I like and such, but it seems she's exceedingly intolerant of any criticism... so she wants me to tell her what I like, but not what I don't like... and sometimes she does stuff I really don't like.

For me personally, I don't like too much attention on the head of my penis... it's too sensitive. I far prefer sucking to licking. Anything more than the occasional brush of the tongue on the top of the head of my penis makes me squirm -- in a bad way, making me lose my erection.

Also, use of your hand is a good thing. If women could first learn to give a good handjob... then a blowjob would come easy because it would be an added bonus on top of the handjob.

Speed is a delicate issue. A blowjob (or handjob) should start off slow, and gradually increase in pace.

My girlfriend has also read all kinds of women's magazines and internet articles on giving good head, and all the advice she's gotten has been pretty lousy -- it made her techniques worse.

Stop reading magazines, and ask him what he likes... be patient and put aside a good piece of time to play around with and explore his penis.

hey

I have a question for guys, females please answer too.

Do guys have a problem being aggressive with girls while making out or having sex. I don't mean like trying to kill her or whatever but like, just being kind of strong willed about it or kinda gently forcing her to do something. Do you guys understand what im saying?? Im just asking do guys mind doing that? Do they like doing that? Are there any other females aside from me that find that as a turn on??

Thanx yall

From the surveys I've read, most women want men to be more aggressive in bed. (Heck, one of the number one fantasies women have is a rape fantasty).

Funny enough though, boys are told over and over again from a young age that women are delicate, and to be gentle and loving with them.

It's a matter of mixed messages. If you want you man to be more aggressive in bed, you're going to have to teach him how -- tell him what you want. Lead by example.

If you want him to push you around a little, then maybe you should first try pushing him around a little.

Personally I have difficulty being assertive in bed. I'd rather the woman be assertive.

It's natural to feel jealous, and to compare yourself to past lovers, but something you'll just have to come to deal with.

Put yourself in her shoes. If you break up with her, and start dating someone else who is a virgin, how would you feel if they obsessed over your ex?

You've got to put the past (her past and your past) behind you to move forward.

well - but you did say that you two are having relationship problems, and you don't want to enter a marriage until those are solved. So, it's not as though everything's perfect...

 

but yes, these ladies should MTOB.

Actually, most of her friends are guys... and they're bugging her about the rings they've bought their women, and why I haven't gotten her a ring yet.