someguy69

Your boyfriend has a friend who you don't like due to his lifestyle.

You seem particularly upset that this friend of his doesn't talk to you... yet you mention that he wants to be friends with you, but you don't want to be friends with him.

Are you warm, friendly and welcoming to him? Do you exhibit the same behavior towards him that you expect from him towards you?

It sounds to me like you look down at him with a holier-than-thou attitude, and affirm your dislike for him because he's not nice enough to you?

What difference does it make if he wears rings, smokes pot or likes boating? Do you expect him to be offended by your hobbies or appearance?

Something is only "cheating" if it's done behind your back without approval.

Like cheating on a test... cheating on your diet... cheating on your taxes.

If you consider watching strippers cheating, then it's cheating to you.

To most people it's not, because their partner doesn't mind.

Intimate contact with another person is a whole different matter, and I'm certain that most partners would not be okay if the other partner was having intimate contact with another (some would, but that's another story).

It's funny how much division there can be within two sects of the same religion (i.e. Christianity).

Just look at the animosity between the Catholics and Protestants in Ireland.

It's also interesting how the majority of the scientific community are atheists... not all though.

Many of the most brilliant scientific minds tend to have some sort of Godly beliefs... usually akin to Deism.

There is certainly reason to believe in some form of spirituality, but I think most of the wiser people will agree that organized religion has too much in the way of alterior motives to adhere to too closely, nitpick over ridiculously unimportant issues, and coerce people to abide by certain rules "for their own good".

Few have summed up the religious problem better than this poem based on Hindu beliefs:

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I don't think you have anything to worry about unless this keeps happening on a regular basis.

How many times have you had sex so far? Was this session particularly vigorous? What do you mean about there being deeper penetration than previous times? Was there uncomfortable pressure on your cervix? Does he have a particularly long penis? Were you trying different positions? We need more detail.

Sounds like you should wash your hands of this jerk quick.

Over 50% of North American men in your age group have tried pot, and over 75% have had sex. If both of these are a problem for you, then you've really narrowed down your mate criteria before more important factors come into play -- like is he responsible, dedicated, hard working, loving, honest, etc.

You're worried about his past... but have you seriously evaluated these two items of question?

Sex: it's a long standing tradition that the man is "supposed to be" more experienced sexually. Most women prefer a man who is "good in the sack", and most men your age have no clue what they are doing. It sounds like your man has only been with one other woman -- count yourself lucky.

Drugs: it sounds like you (as most Americans) have been heavily steeped in anti-drug propaganda. While being addicted to drugs is a terrible thing, you have to keep in mind that alcohol, nicotine and caffeine are all drugs too. Have you ever had a sip of wine? A cup of coffee or tea? Eaten chocolate? Had a glass of Coca-Cola? Then you've done drugs too!

Pot is different you say? Not as much as you think. On all counts, both alcohol and nicotine are far worse drugs (legal status aside). Compare a hard core alcoholic to a hard core pothead. Do some research, and think for yourself -- and don't do all your research with information provided by the DEA, ONDCP or other government established or supported agencies.

Does your boyfriend have problems with drugs? Craves them all the time? Does his (current) drug use interfere with your relationship? With school? With work? No? -- Oh yeah... he tried pot a while back, and doesn't use it anymore. Where's the problem?

By far most women will tell you that they wished they would have waited until marriage.

This does not mean exclusion of other sexual activities.

Oral sex is not a bad way to go -- and a future husband will reap the benefits of your oral expertise.

Honesty is the best policy.

Not in one place did I quote they religious beliefs - I am not religious so don't assume things and nor will I discuss religion since I am not involved in it enough to discuss it. I was referring to the personal lifestyle and beliefs someone can have, as in this case it is clear that the original poster is not comfortable right now with her living situation. Personally for me, just because someone has beliefs about their own personal values and morals does not make them religious ones.

 

The original poster did mention religious beliefs.

but it is also the case that if her actions are against your beliefs it DOES have an impact on you and your home environment

Are you talking about religious beliefs? Most religions (at the core... fundamentalist extremist groups aside) promote tolerance. What religion are we talking about? Christianity? Aren't you supposed to ask yourself, "what would Jesus do?" (Jesus certainly wouldn't advocate casting her aside). I find it hard to swallow that your religious beliefs would be the reason for getting rid of your roommate, when religion would likely tell you that they need your help and understanding.

Be honest and say something like, "her behavior disgusts me, and I don't want to have a *beep* for a roommate", but don't use religion as a reason.

Hold on a minute... I've heard of plenty of cases where women receive unwanted attention from strangers.

Granted it's rare for them to receive flowers at home... but it can happen in the workplace.

How can one assume they are cheating?

Getting her to have an orgasm through masturbation would likely be the best first step... but failing that I'd suggest trying oral sex.

Apparently 30% of women do not orgasm through intercourse, so it's likely not the best choice for giving her her first orgasm.

You broke up with her over the distance when she was willing to do all the driving to see you? What were you thinking?

Chances are a girl like you described hasn't been sitting at home longing for you to contact her. She could be married with kids by now.

If you don't want to spend money hunting her down, then I'd suggest trying to contact her parents. Look up her last name in the telephone directory of where she used to live, and go down the list calling every number until you find the parents... then you can ask them if she's married or single... then you can avoid contacting her directly if she's already moved on way past you.

Just to be a devil's advocate for a minute...

I am curious what impact her behavior has on you directly?

Would you like to be judged based on what you do in your bedroom?

There are far worse things roommates can do than sleep around...

They can be complete and total slobs... they can borrow your stuff without asking... break things without replacing them... be having sex in the common areas... be having sex in your private areas... have parties... keep you up all night... never pay the rent on time... rack up the phone bill until it gets disconnected, etc, etc.

Now, your friend obviously isn't being "careful" if she'd getting pregnant. Condoms were created to prevent pregnancy. Disease prevention is an added benefit

Technically if you're doing something that you are hiding from your partner (other than something like say planning a surprise party, or what you got them for their birthday), you are being deceitful.

If you can't tell your partner what you're doing, then you're not being honest and truthful.

Going on shopping sprees racking up the credit card, or binging on Ben and Jerry's can also be deceitful and upsetting to your partner.

Technicalities about specifics of cheating -- i.e. "eatin' ain't cheatin'", or "drunk or out of town doesn't count" or "it was just a kiss" really don't make it any less deceitful... it's just a degree of how offensive.

Everything is a spectrum.

Finding your husband sleeping with your best friend in your matrimonial bed may seem worse than if your husband was at war for six months and had a sexual encounter with someone you don't know.

I have said this in other similar posts, and ill say it again. What the hell is the point of being married if your spouse wants to bang someone else?

Marriage is about spending the rest of your life with someone you love.

Sex and love are two different things.

Love, and even marriage (think polygamy) does not necessarily only involve two people.

Don't constrain everyone through your narrow view of the world.

You don't want to cut down on all carbs, only simple carbs.

Complex carbs are good -- whole grains, non-starchy vegetables, etc.

Avoid simple carbs -- white rice, mashed potatoes, french fries, white sugar, white bread, candy, anything with lots of added sugar, etc.

As for fats, avoid hydrogenated oils like the plague. Also avoid processed oils if you can (this includes margarine -- use real butter or unrefined coconut oil instead).

Need a sugary treat? Eat some fresh fruit or berries (avoid melon).

I guess times are a changing, because most women want a relationship along with their sex. Casual sex is something that men generally desire.

She may be changing her mind about waiting until marriage -- or maybe she wants to save actual vaginal intercourse for marriage, and still explore other sexual activities.

From her actions it sounds like she wants you to want her... regardless of her wanting to wait. BTW... just because she wants to wait does not by any means mean that she doesn't desire having sex -- she wants sex, but is willing to wait for it.

Your lack of desire for sex is likely making her feel that you're not attracted to her sexually.

She wants you to want her... she may not be ready for sex... but she wants you to want it... and is willing (and wanting) to have sexual gratificaiton without intercourse.

Wanting to kill someone just to taste human flesh is pretty insane.

Apparently human meat is supposed to taste somewhat like pork.

It might also taste a little something like monkey meat... but that would be hard to come by (but likely easier to find than human meat).

Ethical reasons aside, eating human meat would be unhealthy.

Prion diseases like "mad cow disease" come from animals being fed feed that is mixed with ground up cow parts.

If you love someone, set them free.

Go date some other chicks.

If it was really meant to be, she'll be chasing after you pretty quick.

I have a few important marriage questions, I'd like to see some opinions from both the men and ladies, and please feel free to elaborate.

1. Should the woman have the right to have the wedding exactly as she wants it? It seems to be of common opinion that the wedding is "her day", and the woman should get to decide how it should be (and the man just saying, "yes dear, sounds lovely").

2. Should the wedding ceremony be according to the woman's religious beliefs? Say you have a Christian woman marrying an agnostic man (or Hindu, Buddhist, Native American, Wiccan, or Shamanism), should the man participate in a ceremony not quite according to his belief system just to please the woman and her family?

3. What is a realistic, acceptable relationship timeline? From first meeting, to going steady, to the promise ring, to the engagement ring, to the wedding, what sort of timeline is recommended?

Thanks

Advice from the movie, Something About Mary... masturbate before your date.

It's very highly unlikely... although if you are under 25 (esp if under 21) you are more likely to than someone older.

You can only get pregnant within a few days of ovulation... from 2-3 days before to 2-3 days after... pretty much narrowed to a four day period of your cycle.

The thing is that your ovulation could occur at a different than normal part of your cycle, or sometimes (more rarely) more than once per cycle.

For the average woman though, you're pretty much safe the week before, the week of your period, and a few days after (depending on how long your period is).

Day 1-9 safe (day 1 being the start of your period)

Day 10 somewhat risky

Day 11-15 unsafe (with a day 14 ovulation)

Day 16 remotely risky

Day 17-28 safe

Do note that this can be different for everyone, especially if you don't have a 28 day cycle.

It is very unlikely to get pregnant if you have sex more than 24 hours after ovulation because an ovum only lives 24 hours.

Did you ask her if she was up for having a FMF threesome with you and another woman?

If she's not... then that should send up a red flag. If she's up for it (and you'd be up for that)... then hey... why not?