lookingforclosure5

I don't agree. There is such a thing as being confused and not really knowing what you want. I don't think it is of ill intentions on her part, I think she is doing the best she can to keep her head above water at this point as well. I think the best thing you can do for this poor girl is be there as a stable support for her. If you really care about her (and not just trying to "win her back") if you really really want what is best for HER (this is the real question... not just what is best for you) then you should be able to see that she needs someone right now. She is confused, I know, I have been there, on both sides. Right now I would just be careful about trying to figure out anything. Are you getting back together, or are you not. Right now it is about making sure you are doing what is best for your soul. If you believe it is being there for her, then it is. If you believe that it is to establish no contact, then it is. You have to take care of yourself, bro... do what feels right.

Perhaps they do. Oh well.

thanks for all of the advice. The more I look into it the more I think I am just disappointed in my friend than the date itself. A good friend of mine thought we would be "perfect" for each other... yet he is completely the opposite of what I look for. No ambition, doesn't seem to have any self esteem. By the way, I have been on dates since the breakup (9 months ago) and they have been okay. Nothing I wanted long term but I got some good friends out of them. This one just irked me a little, I guess it is because I expect my best friend to know me and think a little better of me than she did when setting me up for this date.

I decided to go with the advice of many friends and start to date again. I let a good friend of mine set me up with someone who she thought i would be "perfect" with. Well we met at my house and went to dinner. From the second I opened the door, I knew he was not right for me. I could just feel it. The more we talked throughout the night (good thing it was just dinner, and a short one at that) I came to realize that he was completely not for me... I have been on dates that were okay but this one was awful. He wasn't a bad person, he was very normal and nice, just not for me. And now, I am more sad than I was before. I thought that dating and going out was supposed to help me heal, this has seemed to set me back a lot. I guess now I am questioning that I will be able to find someone for me. I know it hasn't been long, but if this is an idication of what is to come, i'm not interested. I will be fine to live with a broken heart for the rest of my life. It isn't worth it to have days like today after nights like last night. Does anyone else know how I am feeling right now?

He is feeling guilt (which he should) and wants to make you believe again that he is the best thing to happen to you. He is being manipulative. I understand the want to talk to him and the want to have a "good conversation" with your ex. But a day later do you still feel good about the conversation... or do you feel worse. Is this keeping you from moving on? You just have to think about yourself for a change. You are used to taking care of yourself and him, now your main goal is to take care of yourself.

Thank you for your kind words. The topic of friends is something I go around and around about in my head sometimes. At first I was really aiming to be the kind of friend that he would love and miss, and eventually come back to me... yes I do admit to that. But after a little soul searching for myself, I realize that a realtionship between the two of us just cannot be right now. And I have started to truly be a friend to him, not a perfect friend... the kind he can't resist, but a friend... the kind that is honest and supportive and without any expectations. I used to sit by my phone and wait for him to call, and even get angry when he didn't. Now I am pleased to talk to him and thankful that he is in my life, but my life is no longer on hold for him. I made the decision to move on, as he has. I have reclaimed my independence and living a life for myself. I am not sure I am ready to give myself to someone else right now, though that is mostly because I have not found anyone worthy of who I am right now. Thank you for telling your story and making me feel that the possibility will be there when I am ready.

Hello everyone, I have been reading since my breakup several months ago but have never posted. I guess just posting will make me feel like I am taking the right steps to getting over it all. My story is much like the rest of you. My boyfriend (a very healthy and committed relationship) split up a few months ago. We are still friends and care a great deal about each other. We broke up so he could find his place in the world, and he did what he thought was best for him. I value his friendship more than any friend I have ever had. He is support for me and I feel I am for him. I have just recently gotten past the part where I wish for him to find his way back to me. Now I am onto wishing that I will find my way to happiness... where ever that may take me. My question to you all is simple. He was my first love. I had thought I was in love with others before I met him, but what we had was incredible, it was deep and honest. I just want to know, will I feel this again? When I fell in love with him I thought I had finally found exactly what I had been searching for my entire life. Now he isn't mine anymore and I feel a little lost. I guess I am just looking for reassurance that it can happen again. Somtimes I feel like I am ready to find that again, and sometimes I am happy just knowing that it happened to me once. If it never will happen again, I rest easy knowing that I had a true love once. Thank you for reading my story. Any words of wisdom are welcome. I guess I am, as you all are too, just here looking for some positive words and support.