kim42

Thank you @Wiseman2! @rainbowsandroses I didn't say that I don't want to or won't talk to him again. I just said that some of these suggestions are too forward for this culture as people are simply reserved. I've lived here long enough to know how people interact and what's appropriate. It has nothing to do with my dislike of phone calls, I don't know why you keep bringing this up, it's just a personal preference. Also, it's totally different when you just travel and when you actually live abroad. Also, can we please leave the long-distance guy out of this thread? There's already one with 20+ pages about him, and this one is about my neighbor. Thank you.

I don't want to say in which country I live because I want to keep some privacy but yes, it's just how people interact over here in general, there are some exceptions of course. It doesn't surprise me that much to be honest because it's similar to Eastern Europe where I grew up.

Yes, this sounds like a good idea, thank you! I think I'd be more comfortable starting with a general kind of discussion before moving to something more personal, if he reacts well of course.

Usually they create strong friendships at high school and university that last a long time. Then sometimes you make friends at work but it's not very common either.

No, saying hello is completely okay. But things such as inviting him for coffee, bringing him cake, or even asking several questions too soon would be too intrusive since we don't know each other at all. Also, it varies from country to country in Europe, and I also think it's diferent when you travel and actually live somewhere.

I'm originally from Eastern Europe, I've been living in Western Europe for many years - I don't want to say in which country but the culture here is similar to Eastern Europe in some ways, especially people being less friendly.

Yes, these are all good questions to ask, I'm just saying that I have to take into consideration the cultural aspect here. I know most people on this forum are from the US and things are a little different in Europe - people are less approachable and not as friendly.

Thanks guys for all your advice! As I said, it's not common over here to strike up a conversation with strangers or neighbors, random chit chat is not a thing here so some of your suggestions might be too forward. I like what @catfeeder suggested, and see how he reacts the next time we bump into each other, if he's open to chat.

I know, it can be confusing, I think some guys do this just for the thrill.

It's a little strange but I guess things like this just happen. Did he send you a message on Instagram before unfollowing you? Did he reach out to chat? Something similar happened to me in December last year - I talked to this guy at a party, he asked for my Instagram before he left. He sent me a follow request the next day, we exchanged some messages but he never asked me out, although he hinted at hanging out together at that party. I think some guys just ask for Instagram or phone numbers without an intention to ask you out, they maybe do it just for fun.

Unfortunately not where I live, it would be too much for a neighbor situation.

I have no idea when he comes home from work, I usually get home late in the evening myself. Casual conversation sounds good, when we talked this week it was very spontaneous.

Yes, that's what I'd like to do, I'm just not sure what to talk about since I don't know him.

That's a lovely idea but I don't think it would work here, people are kind of reserved over here.

Hi guys, Unlike most of my posts, this will be a more light-hearted one but I'd still like to hear your advice! To give you some context - I live in this small apartment complex and don't really know my neighbors, most people are rather reserved here and it's not very common for neighbors to interact with each other. I've noticed that the tenants have changed in the apartment next to mine early this year but I didn't pay much attention to it. I knew I had a new neighbor but we only said 'hello' to each other a few times. However, this week we've talked for the first time - just small talk, nothing personal, and I've realized he's cute! We're around the same age, I think he might be single, he lives alone. I don't know anything else about him, not even his name. He often has friends over and they listen to music a little too loud sometimes. I'd like to approach him/talk to him again without coming off as weird or creepy. I'm usually rather shy but I've been trying to come out of my shell lately. I don't talk to my neighbors so I have no idea how to start a conversation with him. I'm a foreigner here and I speak the local language fluently, and that usually breaks the ice when I talk to people for the first time. I don't want to pretend that I need to borrow something or use a similar excuse. I know a friend of mine liked her neighbor too so she baked muffins and offered him some, but that's way too forward for me. Any original ideas how to do this? Share your neighbor stories!

What kind of excuse did she tell you? What was the reason the reason she couldn't do dinner?

I go on reddit sometimes (when I need a break from work 😁) and there's so many posts from men that they're tired of doing all the pursuing and want women to show interest, text first or plan a date too. It was very eye-opening for me, as I come from a rather traditional country where the man is supposed to do all these things. I have this friend and she married this guy, and she told me that she did most of the pursuing because he was so shy that he would barely look at her. I'm not sure if I'd be happy in this situation but it worked out for her.

Absolutely, I've done some inner work myself so I can relate to this. I'm definitely being more direct these days, I think it's much more effucient than overthinking things.

Do you know for sure if he's single? I think if he didn't suggest another option to hang out, it's probably better to let it go. I think it's great you'vr tried though! Better than spending hours on assuming amd analyzing things.

What do you mean by 'ghosted'? He didn't reply to your message?

I don't think this is chasing at all. For me, chasing is when one person, regardless of the gender, keeps asking out someone who clearly told them they're not interested. That's just how I see things of course. If a man or a woman expresses interest in someone, asks them out or makes a move, that's totally fine and not chasing in my opinion. I actually don't like the word 'chasing' at all.

I think men are probably more lazy than some decades ago. They can just download a dating app and don't need to put much effort because they can find another girl on this app quickly. I mean, some guys put very low effort even in the conversations - lots of spelling mistakes, some of them can't even type one meaningful sentence, it's just 'lol' and 'omg'.

I know people who met their partner online but tgexquestion is if you are planning to meet in real life at some point. How far do you live from each otger? If the distance is too big, maybe it's better to stop or at least limit the conversation.

This is great advice, not just for OP. I think it's important to bring back the focus on ourselves and what makes us happy, without being over-invested in situations like this.

I also don't think it's ghosting if you just chat, without meeting in real life - in my opinion. I don't take guys on dating apos seriously until we actually meet so if I chat with a guy and then he stops talking to me, I don't think about it as ghosting. Also, maybe it's better not to chat with someone for weeks - I believe it's better to meet sooner than later to see if you are compatible in real life.