kim42

Thanks guys for your input, I realize that my hint might not have been as obvious as I thought. I agree it's best to let it unfold naturally and just see what happens (if something happens).

Just to clarify - he didn't say he would arrange the group meeting, he said I should join him and his team when they go out next time. But yeah, from my perspective the hint was obvious but based in some comments here, maybe not as much as I thought.

Thank you, I agree it's better to be direct than dropping hints. I think I was hesitant to be direct because we've seen each other only once. I'm also not very good in organizing group outings so it didn't even cross my mind.

I get it can be tricky with co-workers. Just to give some context - we have a very flexible policy in my company, we can work from home so people go to the office only from time to time, so it's not like we see each other every day. Also, our office is in a big building and we don't sit on the same floor.

That's interesting, I thought that in this context, that we both said we like the same type of wine, and then I mentioned the bar, it was obvious that I was hinting at going to that bar with him.

Yeah maybe but honestly I don't feel like investing any more energy in this. After I mentioned the bar, he just asked me which bar it is so I guess he's not interested in hanging out after work.

Update: So we've been messaging a little about non-work related things. He said he likes the same type of wine as me and I mentioned that I like this one bar close to our office. I hoped he would get the hint and ask me out for a drink but he didn't. He keeps the conversation going and asks questions but doesn't mention hanging out so I guess I'll just let it go.

I agree with this 100%. I'm also interested in the Yugoslavian wine 😁

I don't believe this guy only wants to make new friends, based on your description he's looking for a side chick. He probably told you about his gf because you would eventually find out yourself. I hobestly don't buy his excuse, and I think most women wouldn't like their boyfriend to dance and text another girl.

I think it's okay if someone doesn't have social media. Most of my exes didn't have any. It's true though that it could be perceived as strange by some people, even in one of my threads here, some posters were concerned that the guy I was posting about didn't have social media.

I agree, I'm confused whether the OP likes the girl at work or is interested in her friend.

I'd try to ask her out and see how it goes. If she really wants to set you up with her friend, I believe she will tell you this when you hang out.

If you like her, then ask her out for coffee or a drink after work, just the two of you, without your coworkers. So you can be more relaxed and not worry about your coworkers watching you and making jokes.

Thank you for all your input, it's great to read this! Just to clarify - I'm not that shy and reserved, I think some people might have gotten the wrong idea. I'm not the biggest extrovert but I go out a lot and I like to socialize with my friends. I am a little shy when it comes to men because I would rarely make the first move or show clear interest in the past. This has been changing though, I've been doing things differently lately and I enjoy it! I'll see what I'll do in this situation with this coworker.

Yes, I have been practicing direct communication with other men and it has helped a lot. I have stopped posting in my other thread but I still appreciate your advice!

I'm not saying touching a man's arm is sexual but I don't think it's appropriate with a coworker that I have seen only once. It's too soon to break physical barriers, at least for me.

I don't know anyone from his team, just him.

Yes but he's still a coworker so I have to take that into account and be cautious with physical contact.

As I said, I'm not sure I gave him indications of interest, from my point of view I didn't do anything that could indicate clear interest, apart from being friendly. The thing is that there is a very little chance that I'll just see him at the office because most people work from home, and go to the office only a few times per month. Anyway, it's interesting to read about different opinions and experiences.

I'm actually not sure if I gave any indicators that I'm interested in him. I mean, I always accept coffee suggestions from coworkers, or I say yes to lunch or an after-work thing (if I'm free), for me it's a polite thing to do at work.

So I said yes to his invite for drinks with his coworkers. That was the last time I saw him in person so we only interacted online afterwards. As I said, he sent me a message right after coffee that it was nice to meet me. I replied that it was nice to meet him too. Last week and this week we exchanged a few messages but it was only about work. He also messaged me to apologize that it took him longer to finish one task I was waiting for but again, it was just about work. His messages are friendly, with lots of emojis. I work for a big company and we can also work from home so I have no idea when I'll see him next at the office. I don't think I was cold during that coffee break, we talked very easily, there were no awkward pauses. It's hard for me to tell if I was flirty because I'm not sure if he would interpret it as flirting, but he did laugh at my jokes. I tend to be a little shy but overall the coffee break went really well, at least for me.

Thank you, it's akways good to hear a different point of view, I think I'll try to be more proactive this time, instead of just waiting for him to make a move.

I like this and honestly wish I was more proactive in these situations. I'm just worrried it would be too much since I've only seen him once.

I have seen him only once so I can't say that I like him or something, but yeah I'd like to get to know him better and maybe spend some time outside work, we had a good time during our coffee break, he was funny and easy to talk to.

Just to clarify, we had coffee during work hours, we didn't hang out outside work. While we were talking during our coffee meet, he invited me to join him and his team for drinks after work. But that didn't happen yet. But yeah, it's totally possible that he changed his mind in the meantime for whatever reason.