kim42

I'm not a fan of blocking people but in this case I think it would be good for you to block her. She will keep contacting and it will be even harder for you to move on from this situation.

I read similar stories on Reddit about this kind of online interactions and most of them end up like this, that one person decides to not meet in real life after all. I remember this story about an American woman who was supposed to travel in Europe and somehow she managed to match on a dating app with this American guy who lived in Europe. They started to chat and facetime and agreed to meet once she was in Europe. He even sent her a gift for her birthday but then changed his mind before her flight to Europe. I believe some people just prefer the fantasy and get scared to actually meet the person in real life. I'm sorry you were disappointed but I think it would be the best to stop talking to her. If needed, you can also block her so you can move on from this situation. Try to stay busy in the meantime. Please don't forget you flew all the way to see her and she didn't want to meet - I'm sure you don't want her to waste more of your time than she already did.

He probably likes texting with you and your fwb arrangement as such. If you're expecting more out of this, maybe stop texting to him so you don't read too much into his messages.

So it seems you don't want to see him again. Or are you maybe hoping he'll try to convince you to hang out with him again? Just asking.

Sorry about your accident, Sindy. Hope they'll take good care of you in Switzerland 💕

I think you are both playing games instead of communicating. If you don't like that he cancels last minute, which I can understand, then tell him directly. Ignoring him and trying to get his attention on Instagram won't help you in the long run. You can either talk yo him ans suggest going on a date, or just move on, if you feel this is too complicated.

Thank you, I realize it's not good to compare my situation to someone elses's thing. I do regret sometimes posting here, to be honest.

He's a gentleman and very respectful. If he was sexting me, I wouldn't continue talking to him.

Yes, I'd trust him.

Yes, I came here just to vent.

Yes, I've mentioned it several times.

I don't feel comfortable sharing the nature of the messages here, but it was not sexting. I disagree that our interactions are meaningless - I enjoy talking to him, we share a lot with each other and i think we are closer than before. As I said, I don't know if this will evolve into a relationship or not, I'll see what happens once he finds a job.

I don't think the phone call would have changed how I felt about the conversation with my friend. I honestly don't care about the phone call, he's been sending me nice, thoughtful voice notes, in addition to text messages, amd that's perfectly okay for me.

I think we disagree on this, and I'll leave it at that.

I see that our approach to men and dating is different, and that's ok. I'm not in a rush to get married and I don't want to have kids, so for me it's not about being 'patient'. I don't see this as pure friendship - in my opinion, you don't kiss friends. Also, we shared some intimate mesages that, again in my opinion, you don't share with friends. I don't know if this will develop into a relationship or not, I'll see what happens once he finds a job.

I really don't want to start speculating that he might be lying or not completely honest. He told me several times that he wants to see me again and wants to visit me once he finds a job. He said he's not comfortable traveling here while unemployed and I trust him enough. I don't really care about the phone call, I only suggested it because for me it's a better alternative than sending a voice note myself, but again, I'm happy with texting and him sending occasional voice notes. I think he's engaged in our communication, as I said it's much better than before. I'm not a huge fan of flirting over text messages, I honestly don't do it myself so that's not an issue. Based on our interactions, I don't think he's looking for casual. He told me he's looking for a serious relationship and he asked if I'm looking for the same thing. He didn't try to sleep with me and he's been very respectful.

I understand what you're trying to say but him being unemployed is the reason why he can't visit me. I agree I have no control over his job situation.

I can't really answer this because I enjoy talking to him without thinking too much about what might or might not happen once he gets a job. I'm trying to stay in the present, without thinking too much about the future. He always says he's happy to hear from me and looks forward to hearing from me, and I think our communication is much better than before but again, I have no idea when he'll find a job so I'm trying to stay in the present.

Maybe expectations is the wrong word, I'm aware of his situation and I know it can take a long time until he sorts his job situation. I'd like to see him again, at some point, but that's not new information. So nothing has changed, just this conversation with my friend left me feeling disappointed so I came here to vent.

Oh no, I wouldn't want him to have financial issues because of a visit. I think I was hoping he would get a job in January, he had many interviews and got quite far but none of these worked out. He shared his disappointments with me so I know his situation is not easy. I think with each interview I was hoping he was closer to getting a job. He's started to apply for roles that have little or nothing to do with his profession. I think it might be best for me to have zero or low expectations now.

Thank you, I don't want to make any abrupt decisions so I'll think about it, and I might come back if needed, or to update you guys. I still feel disapppointed to be honest.

Thank you @boltnrun and @rainbowsandroses, very good questions in both of your posts, I definitely have something to think about. I think the conversation with my friend has indeed triggered something in me.

I know, it didn't sound right to me, I didn't tell her anything of course, I mean it's her dating situation. I just felt upset yesterday and wanted to share to here.

Hi Sindy, no we didn't make any plans for a phone call. He's been sending voice messages and texting.

Oh I don't like playing this kind of games so not planning to do the same.