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Well I am such an idiot! We never ended up in court or mediation but we did draw up an agreent between ourselves and for some reason she made me sign it in front of a notary public. Well it worked fine from Feb. till now. I had him with me half the week and she had him with her half the week (though technically because she worked so much he spent more time with me then the agreement gave me.) Guess what! I am back to square one again. On Sunday she disappeared with my child and no one knows where they are. So here I am again lost and angry and not knowing what the hell to do! Any advice would be appreciated!

I have to agree with seeing your children. I was only with my ex 4 years and we've only been apart for 3 months but if it wasn't for my son I probably wouldn't be here anymore. My son makes life worth living even though everything else in my life is enough to make me just give up!

she is a b***h and I've probably been letting her play me like a fiddle. This morning she calls me up to say that it is snowing so she wanted me to come drive her to work and Austin to daycare....so I did. As for what kind of mother she is, well when he was first born she was a great mother but as he got older it was like I had to take care of him 24/7 and she hardly helped at all. When she took off with him for 2 months she would always tell me how he is doing so great and everything but now that I see him again unfortunately I noticed that his development has kind of gone downhill. I had him pretty much potty trained and talking alot but now he always goes in his pullup and hardly says any words. He tries to talk but all that comes out is gibberish. Makes me wonder just what she was doing with him for those two months!

thanks, its not so bad on the days I am with my son cause he keeps me pretty busy - of course the downside is I can see so much of her in him But hopefully things will get better (well I suppose things are better in the sense that when I first posted on here a month and a half ago I was very depressed and suicidal and was actually in the hospital for a bit!), and yes I need to learn not to dwell on it cause I guess I do alot! Another thing I really need to do is stop running everytime she calls me for something!!

I really could use a hug....so thanks

Sometimes I guess it helps to write your feelings and I suppose advice from other people couldn't hurt Anyhow here is a little background on my horribly, awful love life.... Four and a half years ago I met Tiffany quite by chance actually. I wasn't looking for a relationship and was fine without one. But she swept me off my feet, I swear I fell for her faster then I have ever fallen in my life. We started dating and within 2 months we moved in together (yes, I guess I shouldn't have moved so fast!). Those first few months were the happiest in my life. I really felt like for the first time in my life I found "the one". Well before we knew it we found out she was pregnant (again, a little fast - she got pregnant after 4 months together). At first we were both a little terrified as this pregnancy was totally not planned. Of course, I proposed to her. Not just cause she was pregnant but cause I loved her and wanted to spend my life with her. Those nine months of doctors appointments, ultra-sounds and morning sickness just seemed to fly by and before we knew it we had a healthy 8 pound baby boy that we named Austin-Joshua. She was a great mother and I'd like to think I was a great father! Things seemed perfect. Then 5 months after having Austin she started to act different. Well it turned out she was talking to some guy off the net behind my back. I was pretty furious when I found out and then we broke up. After about two weeks we made up and things seemed to be improving again. We started planning our wedding, even booked the church. Then I don't know what happened, she seemed to just forget about getting married. Well, a few months went by and then she broke up with me. Never really gave me a reason. This time it was months before we made up again. It actually was better then when our relationship started. But then one day after we took our son to playgroup and we were sitting down to dinner she told me she had something to tell me. Well the news was shocking to me and left me devestated....you see she told me that right before we broke up last time that she cheated on me with the guy she met off the net. She told me she was so sorry and felt bad about it. And stupid me, I ended up forgiving her cause I really believed she was sorry and I loved her and also our relationship had been so strong the last few months. Well skip ahead a couple of years...she seemed to change. It was like she cared more about hanging out with her friends from work then doing stuff with me and our son. I tried so hard to do whatever I could to save our relationship but I guess it wasn't enough. This past Novemeber she took off with our son and disappeared. She told me she wasn't happy in our relationship and she just needed to get away. For two months I fought with her to let me see my son (who is now 3). I was just about ready to go to court when finally we worked out a custody agreement through a mediator where I would get joint-custody of my son and see him 3-4 days a week (well actually since the agreement was worked out my son has been spending more time with me then her). And to top it off I also found out that for two months before she left me she also had another boyfriend!! Anyhow, I guess what I need advice on is how do I get over this and move on with my life? It has been three months since she left and I really struggle with this every single day and its killing me inside and I don't know what to do. She has hurt me so much, devestated me, kept me away from my son for two months and yet I still feel love for this girl. I think about her all the time. I seriously try to hate her but everytime I see her I melt. I am in tears over this everyday and I have to take pills just to go to sleep. I pretend that I am fine and can handle it but inside I am dying. People tell me I should go to a shrink or something and get help....and I do but its not helping! The give me anti-depressents but the heartache is still there. I hope time can heal me but how? It would be so much easier if I could just get her out of my life and never have to talk to her again....BUT we have a child and I can't just walk away so I'm stuck with her in my life forever!! What would you do???

thought I'd post a little update. Well I actually feel alot better. Don't get me wrong, I do love her and always will but I realize now that I'd probably just feel worse or get hurt even more being in relationship with someone who seems to have no heart and who only seems to want to hurt me. How I'd love to do the whole NC thing with her as I know not talking to her would make me feel a heck of a lot better but having a young child together kind of rules that out. But I have been dating again and I realize now that there are actually people out there who will treat me way better then she ever would! Speaking of my son, I get he is with me every other week from Wed till Sat and in between those weeks - every other week from Wed. till Sun. So three nights one week and 4 the next. It sure is not the same as having him around every day but I suppose we'll manage to get by and it makes the time we do get to spend together more special and gives me something to look forward to when we're apart. Thanks everyone for the advice

thanks for the advice. Its a good idea, I will involve a lawyer. Obviously she doesn't want to take it to court cause she is worried about the outcome.

well she tells me to not do it in court, she says now that she wants to go to a mediator and then I'll get him half of the week. Should I go along with her or not?

thanks, yes I'm starting to realize she is a bit of a lunatic and its pretty sad she'd use our son against me. As for the police, god knows I've tried them more then once and they won't do a thing. Even when I say I am worried for him cause when she's at work all day then where is he?

As for another job, I have been desperatly trying to seek one. Who know maybe I'll get a call soon, but with all the holidays recently its kinda slow. I do some work on peoples websites through a web service I run but I know the phone and internet probably will be cut soon so I'm running out of time in that regard. As for legal rights, well I've been researching that as well and it seems hopeless as I live in Canada and if you do a search on google for fathers rights in Canada (and in particular Ontario) you will see that basically the women have all the rights and the father is basically just a wallet.

Well here is my situation.... Just over a month a go my girlfriend of four years had me drop her and my son off to playgroup and told me to pick them up in an hour. Well when I got back an hour later they were gone. Upon my arrival home I discovered that some of her and his clothes were missing along with a letter from her saying the relationship was over. (A little background info on our relationship....It has been a bit rocky with us fighting at times over stupid things. She did cheat on me during the four years and she told me she felt bad about it. I of course forgave her cause maybe I didn't provide her with all the love and affection she needed. She has an addiction to MSN Messenger as well as chatrooms and talking to guys behind my back). Anyhow, I spent almost a week not knowing where her and my son were. Finally she contacted me and claimed to be living at a shelter, which makes no sense to me as she was the abusive of the two of us. She has left before but has never taken our son as I was the one who has pretty much handled the day to day needs of our son (feeding, bathing, playing with and so forth). She also told me she already had another boyfriend, which in my mind is the true reason she left. Anyhow, I ended up losing my job as she let the insurance and car payments bounce so I could no longer drive the car, which she made me co-sign with he to get not even two months ago. So now here I am penniless, with no job, food running short and of course stuck with our apartment with rent now due. Understandably I am very upset, worried and depressed about the whole situation. I honestly love this girl with all my heart, I'm sure some of you must be wondering why by now, and I am so shocked that she would do this to me. Not to mention that she won't even let me see or talk to my son, who I have spent almost everyday of his life with. I spent my Christmas confined in the hospital cause all of this caused me to attempt to take my own life. Now, what should I do now? I feel so hopeless and helpless. I'm just weeks away from being evicted as I have no money and will be forced onto the streets. I really have no one else in my life as I was always left with my son and never really had time to have a social life in the last 3 year. I have no family who can help me. My only real friend is away and I have no way of contacting him for help. Last night (New Years) I spent the whole evening crying as I knew she was with her new boyfriend and it is killing me inside. The only thing I really have to live for is my son, but as I said I have no idea where he is and she won't let me see him. I am all alone and have nothing. I feel like trying to kill myself again as I really see it as the only option I have. So I am trying to see if anyone else has even remotly been in this situation and if so what did you do to get through it? I need help so badly and have no where to turn. I really would welcome any advice!