mier

DBL said it beautifully and it is all that really needs to be said. You are wasting your time and someday you will see it.

I think the girl is playing you and you should run like hell. This can't be good. I don't mean to be harsh, but is she thinking of your best interests? Maybe you are just flattered and like the attention. What if she took that away from you suddenly. Never fall for a girl who is looking for a father figure. Why not turn around and look at your wife and appreciate her for the reasons you married her. She needs all the support she can get for raising your kids. Don't let this girl make a fool of you. What kind of friend can she be?

Honey, I've been exactly where you are. For 5 years my MM treated me like a queen (on the side). He honestly was as good to me as any other man ever in my life. Then, he started disappearing. (He was deployed in the Military), but he never told me what was going on. I never knew. It just happened. He deployed for a year, then came back (never a word from him). Came back to me for a couple of years, told me "he loved me and am very humble about it", then I heard on the street that he was deploying again, this time to the Phillipines where an old girlfriend was that he left his wife for to begin with. We fought. I told him it was over. He said he was "sexually addicted" to me and had to leave me geographically to control it. HUH? I grieved. Then after 2 years he came back again. He called me again and we had dinner, wanted to go back to the Officers Quarters for lovemaking. I told him I had met someone else and kissed him goodbye. Guess what. I'm over it. 2 things I learned. 1. He had all the control and I had NONE. 2. Because he was sexually happy with me, I was probably what was keeping his marriage together. Gain a little control and self respect. Start looking at other men. One will catch your eye eventually, and approach you in the right way. Be ready.

Thanks again for the input. By some strange twist of fate, I ate lunch with him again today, though their were others present. I was cool but friendly, and he was cool but friendly. I am reframing this picture. Glad to know you understand about the work situation, it is very confusing. Thanks bunch, Mier

thanks. it's interesting that not one person has given me encouragement on this. It's funny that some of my co-workers encourage me and say that he looks for me when I'm not there or that his whole face changes when he is around me. maybe they are setting me up. I'm glad I got all this objective advice to please not make a fool of myself. I'm thinking of looking for another job. there is nothing for me there. you all have been most helpful.

yes, it would. also I have never been one to sneak or lie. I would fall out of love with him eventually.

thanks to all. I take all of your replies with appreciation. I forgot to mention that I suspect (have been told) that he is having an affair with a married woman accross the hall. Nevertheless, he has been very nice to me. Thanks for the response. I'm getting the message

I have for 5 years been engaged in a warm but sexless flirtation with a very powerful man at work. We are the same age but I am very far under him in the power structure. (He is the CEO, I am a receptionist.) About 3 years ago, he ran into me at a local restaurant sitting alone and asked to sit with me. Our hour together was intense. I felt to tell him that he had one of the nicest voices I had ever heard, he proceeded to tell me "I HAVE A wife and she loves me and takes good care of me." I said "You are lucky then." and backed off. (He did not say he loved her) Since then, people have noticed our warmth and attraction to each other. I fantasize about him sexually, but am also in a 10 year relationship with a man who unfortunately is an alcoholic, but has been very faithful and mostly loving to me. I love him but we are more like two kids in a sandbox. (I am 52). The man at work has hinted at a sexual relationship, but I have not encouraged it (at least not verbally). I do not want to hurt anyone. But I have had hints lately that he is sexually hungry, and one of the temptingly flirtatious girls in the office is starting to make a play. He is starting to respond, and I am unhappy and uncomfortable. I wish I could tell him how I feel, but am not in the best position to do this at work. He tells me he prays for my son who is in Afghanistan, and this means a lot to me. I am very uncomfortable. Any suggestions or ideas would be appreciated.