Serendipity1607307077

Hey darl....

I'm sorry to hear that you aren't having a good time at the moment...

It is very intimidating in a major city isn't it... but the only way to make progress is to put yourself out there... be confident in yourself, and be confident that you have what it takes to make it! Because you do.

I'm not sure what else I can say to make you feel better... but if you want to PM me to vent or whatever, feel free...

I'm not sure if I'm right in my interpretation, but to me it sounds like she is interested in being friends with you at this stage, and nothing more (ie. nothing serious).

Perhaps you should start by kinda offering to take her somewhere casual, for instance, to the movies - something that friends do - so that she can get reaquainted with you... if you know what I mean..

Just my interpretation - I hope it provides you with a bit of direction.

Let her go...

The grass is always greener... she probably thought that she would be better off with this other guy then realised that she had made a bad mistake.. still, I don't think that she is very trustworthy - if she has done this once, there is a chance that she will do it again, and going out with her again is just setting yourself up to get hurt again..

I hope you can figure out what to do!

I like looking at the naked male form... especially when I'm on the phone to Mum and Luke makes his weewee "dance" BAHAHAHA

Three or four times a day! Gee I wish I was that lucky... LOL!!

My fiancee is 23 and he already has a low sex drive... which is very annoying...

But it's definitely possible! It's natural for your desire to have sex to deteriorate, but if you keep things spiced up and do different things, I don't think that it will be much of a problem!

I agree... it's best to let him sort out what he wants to do with his life..

HardShowingAffection - you worded it perfectly

Well you all pretty much knew I'm a pretty nutty person!

But lately, I think I'm developing another crazy aspect about me..

Now I'm a Libra, and one of the traits of my star sign is indecisiveness.. it can be something as random as picking between two items... but if I feel rushed in my decision, I feel my heart start to race and I feel really panicked.. to me, I have to weigh up all the advantages and disadvantages before I can make my choice...

Sometimes Luke will make me rush my decision (even if it's something like what we are having for dinner...) but it stresses me so much!!!

And I kinda have it in my head that I if I make the wrong decision, something bad will happen...

I'm wondering if there is someone who has experienced something similar, or if I'm just a complete spaz who needs to be locked away!!

Thank you my lovelies..

You should definitely see a counsellor or speak to someone in your family. Don't feel like they are judging you, I think they would be understanding and there are so many young people who do get in trouble with drugs and cutting nowadays.

You said that you have already got help, but remember that help is only good if you are willing to change. Otherwise it's no good... You have to be receptive to outside help.

This is an exerpt from a dream dictionary I frequent (I'm a nutcase you see, I have stupid dreams!)

To see a house in your dream, represents your own soul and self. Specific rooms in the house indicate a specific aspect of your psyche. In general, the attic represents your intellect, the basement represents the unconscious, etc. If the house is empty, then it indicates feelings of insecurity. If the house is shifting, then it suggests that you are going through some personal changes and changing your belief system. If you live with others in your walking life, but dream that you are living alone, suggests that you need to take new steps toward independence. You need to accept responsibilities and be more self-reliant.

Well done!!

I think I prefer the "would you like to go out with me" method.... the soppy stuff is good but I like people being straight up.

Darling, you need to get out of this relationship.

For him to disrespect you and not listen to your anxieties or problems or be understanding at all, is not right at all. You need to find someone who values your opinion...

Sweetie, I'm exactly the same...

I used to get picked on and bullied so I hung around with the guys... and while I do have a few female friends, I find it much more fun and easier to hang around with Luke's friends.

I agree with Lady Bugg... Be yourself!

It can take a while to find friends, and there will be disappointments here and there, no doubt... but don't be afraid to take the bull by the horns and be up front with people... if you know what I mean!

I definitely agree.. it's better to be open and honest! I know it's difficult but you will feel better for having said something and I think that your friend would feel better for you having being honest.

When I met my fiancee I was 17 and he was 21... there was a 40 year age gap between my mother and my late step-father.

If you are going to consider dating her I would be VERY careful and perhaps wait a couple of years, especially with regards to sex.

Carnelian - I don't think he was trying to indicate that at all. I'm the same - I hate the bar scene with a passion because of smoke. That doesn't mean that I'm on the prowl for 15 year old boys though

He was saying that the majority of youth go clubbing and pubbing when they are legally allowed to but there are a small handful of us who don't like that sort of thing... (not having a go at you though.. I do agree though, that once this girl is of an age where she can get into bars, she probably will

If you are posting on here, even if you have posted about it before, it obviously means you still need help...

What seems to be troubling you?

 

My question now is just should I tell the father? He's a senior in high school and was already accepted to a college and I don't want to mess up his plans for something that was my fault.

It's difficult, but I would definitely tell him. Every father has the right to see his child. Having said this, the father should put in effort as their mother does. My sister-in-law to be has problems with her ex and custody issues and it's not pretty!

The other decision you need to make, is if you tell him about your child, are you going to make the choice to raise this child on your own? Will the father be there and/or move in with you or pay child support?

Things can be a bit overwhelming when it comes to babies, but from what I have heard and seen, being a mother is a wonderful experience. Someone mentioned in here before that you will have to be careful seeing you have had a miscarriage before as it now makes your pregnancy a high risk one.

Hi Dnl...

Wow, that's very tough, and I'm sorry to hear that you are in that situation.

It seems that when people are in abusive relationships, they are scared to leave their partner because they are worried that they will be attacked or abused for doing it. The fact that her ex hit her for seeing you should have told her that she made the right decision for leaving him, however his threatening her may have made her go back to him for fear of being hurt again....

It is a very complicated situation. The thing I would be concerned about here is the fact that (a) He's physically abusive towards her and (b) Your baby is in the picture and the ex may be resentful towards you - worst case scenario is that he might try and attack the baby... as I said, WORST CASE...

I think that it was very nice of you to try and do the right thing by her, but she shouldn't be anywhere near an abusive partner, especially not while pregnant...

Just my two cents... hope it helps you clear your thoughts.

Hi Cich

I'm really sorry to hear about your grandmother. It's never easy finding out about things like this.

Quite often people who don't smoke can get lung cancer... and it sounds trivial, but with the amount of people who passive smoke... not completely out of the question..

I will include your grandmother in my thoughts tonight.

It's easy to get 'clucky' when you are young!

You should look at your situation carefully and make an informed decision. You said that your family won't support you. Is there someone else you know that you will be able to have around you to help you out, ie. an uncle or aunty?

Now I hate talking about this, because it's such a controversial thing to talk about because I'm personally against it... but... it's better that you have an environment where you can have a baby and live comfortably without having to struggle to survive. If you feel that you won't have this comfortable and supportive environment, you might have to think about abortion...it's not right to bring a baby into the world if you won't be able to support it.

I think that your husband is scared to become attached to your child should anything bad happen. Talk to him about this. Knowing his fears and him knowing yours will help you both to properly support each other.

Nothing wrong with having a high sex drive. Enjoy it while you can....

I hardly ever have sex with my partner any more, he never feels like it.. so yeah, mine went to waste..

Use it or lose it!

As you can appreciate, your mother is concerned about you and doesn't want you to get hurt.

When I met Luke, I was 17 and he was 21 as well. I was fortunate, because my Mum actually knew Luke through work. However, she was still concerned about me seeing him mainly due to the age. I know it's only four years, but 17 & 21 sounds worse than 20 & 24, know what I mean? It's a tricky subject.

Sit your Mum down and let her tell you how she is feeling, make it clear that you don't want your head blown off but that you understand her concerns.

Let her talk to you about it. Parents can get very anxious when their children start dating, they don't want their child to screw up their life.

Below is information I located at work, and I felt that I should relay it to you. New parents need encouragement, not bossing around!

Value Yourself.

You are doing a very important job! Be proud of the efforts you put in throughout the day, no matter how small the task. When talking to friends about parenting, don't moan and groan. Talk of it as a special career! Being a parent in itself is an amazing feat.

Look After Yourself.

See yourself as a person first, and a parent second. Be careful not to expect too much of yourself or others. Take notice of your own special needs, and yor own special talents. Praise yoruself for simple things. Don't dwell on mistakes.

Accept Your Feelings.

Understand that mixed feelings are normal. At times of stress or changes in your family, you can be swamped with a range of emotions. At times it is important to reach out and speak to your partner, friends, or family members.

Reward Yourself.

Do at least one thing a day that makes you feel good. Get someone to fill in so that you have 'time out' to do whatever you feel like, even if it's just for 30 minutes - such as taking a bubble bath or reading a book.

Talk to Yourself.

The way in which you talk to yourself matters. If you say "My child is trying to get at me" or "Why should I put up with this?", you will react differently than if you say "What's happening to my children to make them behave this way?".

Trust Yourself.

Everyone has their own ideas about parenting and sometimes it's easy to become confused or feel inadequate. Listen to other people's ideas - this is how we all learn. But do what feels right for you. Trust your own judgement.

Work Out Your Own Values.

Clear values and beliefs are very important in forming the basis of a good foundation in raising children. Try to reach some commong agreement with your partner if you have a different of opinion. A shared and clear understanding of parenting practices makes for an easier road. If you differ, try not to put each other down.

Get Support.

Make sure you have a listening ear. If you feel alone and can't find support within your family, look everywhere until you find someone to talk to and share your concerns. Parenting is hard to do in isolation. Don't be afraid to ask for help - it's not a sign of failure - it's the smart thing to do. You will probably find others feel the same as you.

Reminders:

- Parenting is forever, so make the foundation solid.

- Find out the right ingredients to raise a happy child.

- It is a marathon, not a short distance run, so pace yourself.

- you are the most influential person in your child's life.

- Mistakes only matter if you keep repeating them.

- Don't waste time and energy feeling guilty, change what you are doing.

- Seek help from others, but keep on believing in yourself.

~Seren~

She probably realised that she was getting herself into something too deep and didn't want to put a relationship in front of her studies.

If she doesn't want anything to happen I guess you just have to respect that... by all means stay in contact with her, but don't push it. Who knows, she might feel up for it in the future...

Probably not what you want to hear...