berkvis

Thanks for all the advice. It just confirms what I didn't want to admit to myself. I think it's best to walk away although it ain't going to be easy. Looks like I am going to have to tell her asap.

Thanks for replying nightshade, I don't just want a physical fling, I'm a rare bread I think! They weren't married as far as I know and 'split' before Christmas. She told me he keeps saying he wants to move out but then keeps trying to get back with her. She has told me she is not interested in that. I just don't understand what is holding her back. I agree that if she doesn't do relationships then why is she kissing me. She gets jealous when i talk to the younger girls in the office and I get the feeling that as she can't have me, no-one else can!

Hello all, I've been friends with this lady at work for over 2 years now (she's 38 and I'm 27) and recently things have developed between us. Rumours spread at work which forced me to admit to her that I had feelings for her. Since then, we have been out many times and recently ended up kissing at the end of one night. You see the problem is she still lives with her ex (for financial reasons, or so I'm led to believe) and altough she admits she has a 'crush' on me, she keeps saying she doesn't do relationships. After a work party on Friday night, we ended up kissing again and she said not to mention this at work and not to fall for her as I would get hurt. Now keeping it quiet at work is ok with me as the rumours have finally stopped, but when I distance myself at work she keeps emailing me asking whats wrong and why am I not talking to her. I can't win! I'm thinking that the reason she doesn't 'do' relationships is because she is still in one with her ex, could I be right? I told her at the weekend that I was going to back off. She asked me not to as she needs to sort things out first, then says lets start all over again as she wants to be close to me. I'm really confused as to where I stand and what to do for the best and I can't seem to ask her directly. I've even thought about writing her a letter to explain the way I feel. Can anyone offer me some advice on what I should do please, it's getting to the point where I can't face work. Thanks

Hey all, Looks like theres a lot of us in the same boat............... I'm not sure on what the answer is to be honest, but I've been doing a lot of thinking lately and I think you have to ask yourself what it is you want once you've told them how you feel. From advice I've been given by friends, it's a dead cert that the friendship will suffer if they say no............and this is what stops most people from saying what needs to be said. But you have to ask yourself, isn't the friendship suffering already??? I'm seeing the girl I like tomorrow and plan to tell her then. I guess it's down to the big man upstairs on whether it is meant to be or not..... I wish you all luck and strength in making and carrying out your decisions. Best wishes.

Well, here goes...... I think I've blown it before I've even started. I sent her a text message earlier on to see how she was as we haven't spoke for 6 weeks since the minor disagreement (see first entry). She replied by saying she was missing her mate and what was wrong. I said that if she didn't know now then she probably never would. Backwards and forwards messages and she said that she wanted to know what was wrong so that we could make it up. I said that I wasn't really bothered by the minor argument and would call her soon. She just sent me a message that reads: "I know we argue and it's usually my fault, but you're my mate and I'm always here for you. But you have to tell me what you want me to do?" I'm stuck!!! I know I need to tell her face to face, but I'm to nervous and the fear of rejection is putting me off from telling her. Can anyone give me some much needed help please................this is killing me!! Thanks

Hey, hmm, the song is Eye Of The Tiger by Survivor and was in the Sylvester Stallone movies, Rocky. Am I right??

Well, nothing has happened as yet. Unfortunately I've been too busy at work and have been working every evening and into the night. I'm going to tell her this week at some point, but can't bring myself to call her. I take it a letter is a really bad way to tell her?? Does anyone have a better way in which I can tell her and how to tell her. I know what I need to say, but am struggling to find the right words. Thanks

Hi all, bit of an Elvis lover and one of the best for guys (even girls) looking to get over someone is only the strong survive, one of the lines is: theres a whole lot of girls, looking for a good man like you, but you'll never meet them, if you give up now and say your life is through. also, for admitting you where wrong is always on my mind. classic! slightly different is Solomon Burke's Here Comes the Train. starts of by saying: "to give all you have, to someone that you love, and to get nothing in return, kinda tears you up inside when you really stop and think about it" John Lennon's Jealous Guy (covered by Bryan Ferry and Roxy Music). but a major favourite (as im in that kinda situation) is Patrick Swayze's song, She's like the wind. "feel her breath in my face, her body close to me, can't look in her eyes, she's out of my league"

Whoa!! Funny how people end up in the same situations. I was just reading through a text message she sent me the other day to apologise for our little disagreement and the reply I sent when I was drunk the other night. Didn't realise I actually sent anything, thought I had dreamt a reply, but obviously not. I said "I miss you and love you". Her reply was "love you too", but being pessamistic, I don't believe that was anything more that a friend. Thanks for the advice. I'm gonna bite the bullet tonight and give her a call after work and tell her I need to see her at some point. But, where is the best place to do it? Somewhere busy like a pub or at home when no-one else is around. (although my flat mate never seems to leave the house). You said you would be interested to hear the outcome, is there another way I can let you know without posting it here. Thanks again.

Hi all, I have been friends with this girl for over 5 years now and over this time my feelings for her have changed. We get on really well and spend a lot of time with each other (until recently) and many people have commented on the fact that something must be going on between us. To cut a really long story short, we have been out for a few drinks with friends and have been getting on really well and having a laugh. One night a few friends came back to my place (her included) and we continued drinking and chatting until most people left. She asked if she could stay as it was really late. I agreed and said she could have my bed and I would sleep on the sofa. She said not to and to sleep in the same bed. Nothing happened! This happened a few more times in later weeks. On some occasions when we have been out and I have started chatting to other women, she gets incredibly jealous. One night, I was chatting to this lady and when I popped to the loo, on my return I found she had left. My friend later told me that the girl I like had gone over and said something and this caused her to leave. She comes round to see me and instead of sitting on the sofa, throws a pillow on my lap and lies down to watch tv or to chat to me. Boyfriends she has treat her like dirt and she always comes to me for advice, usually in tears. I have fallen in love with her and really want to tell her but can't read the signals. I get the feeling I am just the dependable friend that she can fall back on and will always be around. Recently we had a falling out over something trivial and haven't spoke for a few weeks. In this time I made my mind up to tell her how I feel and risk losing a friend, but I also feel that if I do this, then she may think that the friendship has been based on a lie and she will run a mile. I really don't think I could handle it if I lost her forever. Should I tell her how I feel? Or am I just reading the signals badly? Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.