Burning myself...

Uh...I don't know how to start this, so..here it goes. I burn myself, like some people cut theirself, or whatever they do, I burn myself with a curling iron. I tried cutting before and it felt good but I didn't like the marks and it wasn't for me. So the other night I tried a curling iron and omg, it felt awesome. I don't do it all the time, mostly when my mom and me start to fight or when everything seems to be going wrong. It's like it's my life but I'm not control of any of it, so finally I'm in control of somthin', at least for now. I don't burn it so bad it whelps it just turns red and then I stop. I don't know what else to do...I don't want to have to put my body through this...but what else is there?

Under_the_Pressure

hey there are a few things you could try, like writing poetry, that seems to help a lot of people here, or you could try something like a hobby or something to get you mind off what is happening between you and yor mum. once i saw this thing where this woman took all her anger out on this wall, she had loads of paints and just attacked it, throwing paint all over it, maybe you could try something like that, it looked really cool and its a good idea if your arty

hope this helps

~LJ =;

Can you tell us a little bit more of why do you put up such a big fight with your mom, like how is she controlling you? And i see that you're under a lot of pressure, is it solely from your mom or there's another agent?

Try talking to a close friend about your situation, it reallyhelps. Don't hide all those unhappy feeling, let them out! Like just_smile said, when you're really concentrated into doing something, you pretty much forget *temporarily* about all the pressure you suffered from. However, i say to get down to the root of your problem. So talk to a good friend.

First of all, thanks for the replies. My mom and me fight all the time. The main thing we argue about is that she can't accept me, I'm not one of those popular, skinny, beautiful, preppy chicks. I'm different, outcast, punk, goth, and she doesn't like that. My brother is popular, and like a major chick magnet and she loves that. Another thing that we fight about a lot is that my brother- he smokes, drinks, and smokes ***, and he is only 16. Yet she knows I don't do any of that and she still treats me like I'm the bad child! She doesn't trust me, she never lets me go out even with my friends! It's just so stressful living here and there is another option that is my dad, but he doesn't care about me. He doesn't call to see how I'm doin' or nothing. Only my brothers, but not me. So....now what?!

Under_The_Pressure

Your family seem to favour a male in your family regardless of what he does. This awfully sounds like a traditional conservative family to me. Anyway, who cares about your brother, your life is yours, so stop comparing yours to his. It is quite questionable about why your parents are treating you this way, have you ever gotten your gut and ask him directly, "just why don't you like me?" or "why don't you care about me?", and see what do they say about you. I can't say anything at this moment because there's a different story in every family. Oh, a question for you, are you really that different, outcast, punk, goth? Is that your real personality or you're only forcing yourself that way so as to be rebellious to your family? correct me if i'm wrong. And if favouring a male character in your family is a traditional thing, i bet there's really nothing you can do because your parents' minds are settled for what they were educated with in the past. Just try to become lovable to them, think of all the happy moments in the past and any pleasant memories. I am sure you're not borned to be hated; there's gotta be a reason. So try adjusting that in favor of your parents. i mean, at least they've brought you to life. Think about what you would be missing out if they weren't around anymore.

Smile has a point, the arts are an excellent way of venting the feelings of pain and anger you feel. Be it through drawing, writing, music, or simply creating, the important issue is to focus your feelings and channel them. It's a part of the healing process because you're not keeping what upsets you to bottled up inside; you're not cycling the pain onto yourself, you're letting the pain go.