What is the mindset of a cheating women?

I have never cheated, can honestly say Im sure I never will. Just wanting to know how for you girls who have cheated on your husbands did it.

Trying to get into the mindset.

I know some people say they were drunk and had these affairs those are not the ones im interested in. Im interested in the girl who just found herself getting involved with another man maninly unintentionally because of maybe physical attraction or just uninvolvement from her current mate. What was going through your mind and how did you avoid your conscience? Did you make excuses up for yourself to justify it?

Thank you for any detail explanations on this, im truly interested. Please do not take my post as any kind of judgement, it's not my intention. I just honestly want to know how one falls into a relationship with another man while commited in marriage.

I've never bought the "oh, I was drunk" excuse for, well, anything. Bottom line is that people are responsible for their own actions and being intoxicated is not an excuse for doing something you supposedly wouldn't do otherwise.

I dont fall for that getting drunk excuse either, as for why women cheat, for many of the same reasons men do.

I have never and would never cheat on the woman that i love and loves me, but you see, many of these cheaters say the same thing, then they justify what they did after the fact, by saying, oh he/she wasnt attentive, or he/she was on a trip, whatever, its just that many times these people just dont want to even try, they want instant gratification. If there really was a problem, why not just try and solve the problem first, and if that doesnt work then you break up with that person THEN look for someone else. but no, they want their cake and eat it to.

We honest and faithfull may get our hearts stomped on once and awhile, but when we are in a loving trustful relationship we are the happiest people on earth, those cheaters are never really satisfied, and pay the price of never getting to really feel what we will experience.

Well said Gil! I've cheated on a bf once back when I was really young, but I did it 'cause it wasn't really a serious relationship and my bf at the time wasn't paying much attention to me even after I told him I needed it. I guess I should just broke up with him first but I was young and didn't really think like that. Oh well. But anyways I agree with Gil.

You want to know? Well, lets see. I was married. To an honest man. We had known each other our entire lives. We had two children. He was in a band. The guys came over to practice. Matt was fun. We got along. Sometimes he'd stay late, or come over early. I chalked that up to us being friends too. He showed me his work from college. I was impressed. I said so. We had some lingering looks. But what was I going to do? I figured it was just healthy attraction. Months of surprise connections. We liked the same everything, and were in constant awe of what the other could write, sing, play, say, debate, create.....Then a random, unplanned, kiss. Then...an affair. I fell in love with him before the kiss, and once it happened I was conquered. I divorced my husband after Matt and I broke up (Matt wasn't quite the stand up guy I thought he'd be. I thought he might stay with me and I'd leave my husband, but oh no....that was too much) but we divorced after counseling resolved that affair (it's never really resolved). I was being faithful when we split. In fact, Matt had been three years gone when I left the husband. I just wasn't in love with him the way I had been with Matt. Ironically, it taught me how love really felt, except for the end. Nevertheless, now I have a man that's incredible, and I will be loyal always. That's my side of the story.

I cheated once. Well, actually twice. Early on in our relationship, it was about a momentary, fleeting physical attraction to a co-worker. We did the deed and that was that. Then, BOOM! 4 1/2 years go by, we have gotten married, had a child, bought a house, started a business together, graduated college. We were at odds all the time with one another and never really had time for the other person. A close mutual friend of ours made a random, provocative remark to me while at a party at our house and it felt good. He paid me attention, made my hormones surge and he was fresh and new to me in that way. We wound up talking on our cell phones during the day and within 2 weeks had begun our affair. We were both in relationships that left us vulnerable to outside influences and weakened our committment to our partners. We blame ourselves and no one else for what we did and occasionally still do. We don't consider ourselves as having an affair or cheating, though that is what it is, but more of friends with benefits. There are no feelings involved. Just a few, random moments of physical, emotional and mental closeness, intimacy and connection; the kind we don't get in our other relationships. We have no intention of breaking up our families. We realize that this is not okay and we love our partners so much that we don't want to break up our families. However, in moments of vulnerability and weakness, we have turned to each other for a few brief moments of escape from our problems. Call it a disease, an affair, a destruction of our prior commitments, a habit, an excuse, whatever. Smokers realize that smoking is bad for them and for others. Yet, they still do it. Those few moments when they are doing it gets them through the tough days. They don't love the cigarettes more than other things. But, they realize that those other things may already be damaged and tainted and why not a cigarette to calm those nerves? That's what my affair was like. I am not providing excuses or rationalizing my way out of what I did and occasionally still do.