Why Does Love Have to Hurt So Much?

You meet someone, you fall in love, and everything is so perfect. Then one fine day things crush right in front of you. You try to pick up the pieces and build your castle once again, but in vain. It keeps crumbling down time and again. You don't want to give up, so you keep trying.

Why does love have to hurt so much? I was told as a child the love is a virtue. Its the best thing that you can give someone. I did too. I loved him unconditionally. And then I opened my eyes and it was all over.

I am asked to lead a normal life, to go back to my regular routine, do my regular job, and then it seems I will find true love some day.

What is true love? What I experienced was so true, so real, so beautiful, so surreal. It made me complete. I felt beautiful. I never asked more from life. It was as though I had everything.

And now when I come back to an empty room, I feel scared. Scared that I might hurt myself. Scared that I will not be able to breathe anymore. And then deep in the night, without my knowledge, I fall asleep only to wake up the next morning with the same lingering pain.

sonja

I'm very sorry to hear about your lost love, Sonja. Unfortunately, I know exactly what you're feeling right now.

It's been almost 2 months to the day that my relationship with my girlfriend ended. Although, I know it was for the best for both of us and I'm thankful that it's over, it is still extremely painful and difficult to deal with. Immediately afterwards was the hardest part, but it has gotten and continues to get easier with each passing day.

I'm still battling with strong feelings of loneliness and I continue to mourn the love that I was a part of. It was wholly the single best experience of my life, and I can only hope that love smiles upon me once again. I can't tell you just how much i miss it. This is why we keep searching for love-- it is so very, very wonderful and special-- and once it's gone, we're left only with longing and pain. If there's one thing keeping me going is that I will soon find someone who will fill the huge empty void within my heart.

I believe that you have to pay your dues when it comes to love. You need some experience with it before you find the one you're truly meant for. The path will probably be a difficult one and your heart might see some hurt as you go along the way, but the most valuable things in life usually do not come easy-- not even when it comes to love.

So, from one broken heart to another, I'll share with you these thoughts that have helped me somewhat-- try to be strong, be independent, do the things that make YOU happy, be a little selfish when it comes to what you want in life, don't think about things so much, and DO NOT feel sorry for yourself. You are a special and beautiful soul-- never forget that, okay! You owe it to YOU to make sure that you're in control of your life and even more importantly, that you're happy.

I really hope that my sharing some of my emotions with you will be of some comfort. If the pain ever feels too overwhelming for you, please talk to someone about it, preferably one of your best friends. It will help immensely.

I wish the best of luck to you and to me on our journey back to happiness.

Daniel

Be bold for what you stand for, and careful for what you fall for.

It's the room. The room that we all have to come back to alone knowing that when that person comes into your mind again as they have done every day for such a long time, you are only permitted to think of them in terms of absense, not presense. We do not have permission to beg them for forgiveness, for their affection. 'They cannot understand how much pain there is, how much we love them, how perfect everything could be again'. They don't care. We have lost them.

Can I really imagine myself being strong enough to move on? It doesn't feel like it. How will I react if she gives me another chance. Do I have permission to even imagine the possibility of her giving me another chance?

I have degrees and qualifications, I have written dissertations and essays on complex things and yet I have never thought or felt more about any one thing than her. This has been the most difficult essay I have ever not written. These three weeks. Is it right to expend this much energy on what might be a lost cause? What would a strong, secure person do?

It's amazing how parallel our lives are, from America to Europe to Asia and beyond, we all feel such similar things and experience such similar heartache. What is it about? We all just think that it's only us feeling this way. 'No one understands the pain I'm going through, no one has felt this, no one understands the details that make my case more difficult and more tragic than people can imagine'.

You will not be the end of me

You will examine

Purely

Everything on top of everything pushing

Purely

Pushing forwards

I will not be the end of you

You will learn to shiver

You will end days

You will not end

You will everything pushing outside shivering ending but purely you

Send passages accross galaxies.

Injections are there in nebulae and frozen

Time.

So floating for heaven's celestial permanent truth about Goodness and Everything.

And so on and so on.

And on forever.

Into.

Move into wait move into.

Send myself away.

And an answer has replied in terms

Forgotten for centuries and

Knowing so much.

I have arrived in spatial palaces.

I have sent myself into nowhere.

A darkened zone of backwards beginning in now

Memory lost everything long ago as I

Stand on the threshold of the Room

I have sent myself

Through convoluted turns.

This is not me.

I am inside the Room,

Living with my glances in boxes,

Hoping to begin again.

Knowing everything.

Never born.

I send myself through convoluted turns,

Labyrinths

And idiots

Cabinets

Sculpted in time

Containing my fear

Sent through history

To your door.

So Sonja, that's what I'm talking about with doors and rooms and stuff. It's horrible, I know. But what can we do except try to be excited about things that might happen to us in our lives?

Take it easy,

Eddie

I thought I could get over this feeling a lot sooner than others do. I did not know how much I loved him until now. He is not around anymore. And I am filled with nothing but void. Just don't know how long I will carry on like this. My life seems so perfect on the outside, yet I am living every moment wishing I need not see the next. I wish I could get rid of this pain somehow, maybe inflict a bigger pain on myself and temporarily forget this one.

I can't carry on any further.

sonja

Sonja, it's me JDRATX again, and I gotta tell you that your post really struck a chord in my heart because I can feel your pain by reading your words. Over the past week or two, my heart's been hurting quite a bit because I've, unfortunately, been re-feeling & thinking about lots of my fondest and most cherished memories of love, beauty, passion, and togetherness that I shared with my ex.

I know it's been hard, but I hope you can realize just how strong you really are inside. There's a lion in there just waiting to roar. It hurts right now, and all you want to do is cry. I know. You want to be alone and in solitude, wallowing in all that could've been and what your lives would look like if things had worked out. Just remember who YOU are and what you want from life. Does this situation you're pondering so heavily over really fit the picture of what you have your mind on and what your future holds for you? Think hard and react accordingly, keeping in mind all that you stand firm for, because it is really all about YOU and what YOU want out of life that is important.... nothing else.

Happiness is what it is ALL about...ALL OF IT.

jdratx

Hi jd and eddie,

thanks for your reply. you know what? This is the only man I have ever been in love with and I gave him my best. So did he. It was perfect chemistry. The place where it hurts most is if it wasn't meant to be, then why did it have to be sooooo perfect?

I wish I could look beyond. I can understand your pain better because I am going through the same.

But thanks for your kind words. It meant a lot to me.

sonja