jdratx
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I was lucky enough to be able to listen a 27 year old taped recording of my dad who passed on just over a year ago. He loved to sing these really beautiful spanish songs when he was doing things around the house, when he showered, or when he was cooking. They are some of my most cherished memories of my father. On the tape, he's singing his heart out while he was babysitting my sister and I when we were little and making some dinner. Hearing him sing some songs that I haven't heard in so long and (not to mention getting onto us for getting into mischief) was one of the greatest gifts I could possibly receive. Even though I cried like a little baby as I listened, it was absolutely wonderful. I'm planning on transferring the content of those old cassettes to cd so that I can share this w/some of his siblings, as I know they would appreciate it as much as I did. Well, it stirred up so many emotions within me that I thought I would also share this tidbit with all of you. Peace and Happy Holidays.
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Interesting, PocoD. I've thought of buying that book myself. DocLove's articles are pretty good! Friendly-- I think PocoD makes some very good points about your situation. I agree in that you do need to remain composed, confident, and that you should loosen up just a bit. Insecurity is a tough one to understand and deal with, but you should really strive for improvements in that respect. Just keep showing her what a great guy you are and be mindful of the little, subconscious, negative feelings you might express. She will pick up on these and it will only cause you further grief and more arguments. Best wishes.
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I've been in the same boat before-- my advice would be to stick w/your bf. You have history together, and unless you've fallen out of love w/him and no longer wish to be in a relationship w/him, you should stay put w/what you already know makes you happy. You will most likely lose your best friend, your support base, and his love by pursuing your colleague, which I would chalk up to as simply being lust. Is it really worth the risk?? You need to really think long and hard about the next steps you take. Besides, based on my experience, dating a co-worker is very, very tricky business anyway. If things do not go well, you get to see them EVERY DAY afterward! Then you got the office rumors, water-cooler talk, etc. to deal with to boot. Trust me when I say it's not a fun thing to deal with if things were to go awry. Good luck on your decision and may happiness follow you whatever you end up doing.
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All excellent points. I really do appreciate your giving me some of your perspective along w/RayKay's. I'm glad I decided to visit today! It's good to know this site's around for whenever I may need it.
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Maybe you're right, Bethany. But I can't help but keep thinking that since we haven't had any contact in like 2 yrs-- I mean nothing-- I would think she'd realize I thought she had moved on by now. I heard from her friend that she began dating someone (the hubby) a couple months after we broke up. If she needed to say goodbye, it just seems kinda late to be doing it. Unless she still had some sort of feelings for me or something. I knew when I heard about the news in the Associated Press that her newspaper would be covering the story and that she would be reminded of me. To top it off, she was the one to write the article! Either way, I still wish she'd reply. But if she was a b#$^ then including after we broke up, I probably shouldn't be expecting her to have changed that much, eh!
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i think he found better.....
jdratx replied to sasha12's topic in Ex-boyfriend/girlfriend Relationships
Good words by all. Sasha, don't forget the old addage that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Try your best not to let it mess with your head too much. Zerohero is right. -
No doubt it was an odd e-mail to get after 2 yrs. And I think she should've known that it might solicit a response from me too, right?? Then, why not reply back to my friendly congrats e-mail too!! Just seems really rude to me and lends more to the "ha ha, I'm married and you're not" theory of mine. Gals... I swear, I'll never figure y'all out!
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Thanks, RayKay. Yeah, the bragging thing does irk me a little! I still hope my little nonchalant way of letting her know I was doing well made her feel "happy" too. Also, I think one of her good friends who lives here, who happens to be one of my friends, probably told her about my honey in Taiwan thing which probably gave a little xtra meaning to my Taiwan vacation! Sometimes it feels good to be bad, eh! Well, I think Julia is a front-runner for the difficult task of being my wife, but I don't think either one of us are quite ready for that right now. Maybe in a year. But I also don't think I can wait another year for her to move back to the states, and I don't think I'm willing to move to Taiwan. That's a tough question. Guess I might have more perspective when I go visit. One thing's for sure, there will be lots of passion goin' on for those 3 weeks! Well, keep an eye out, you'll probably see a couple more LD posts from me sayin' "i'm sad about my honey-bunny, and blah blah!!!" I'm sure some perspective from ya then would be greatly appreciated, RayKay!
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You're a very intuitive one, RayKay. I have been thinking a lot about where I am in my life right now and marriage has been one of those things. Doesn't help that my Taiwanese honey is not here w/me either. And DayWalker, I think you're right too. I didn't really take the break up too well. I have to be happy, though, b/c if we didn't break up when we did, I wouldn't have met Julia who's made me happy for over 2 yrs now. Her e-mailing me out of the blue was weird though. Almost like she wanted to brag or something. Thinking about it that way only angers me. But I sent her back a short congratulatory e-mail saying I hope she's happy (ahem, cough) etc. and let her know I was about to graduate from biz school and take a long vacation in Taiwan. Ended it w/a happy to hear from ya, best regards. Of course, I haven't heard back from her and don't expect to. Maybe I do have some issues w/her. Maybe like the one who got away, etc., but I wouldn't want her back right now if I could, which only complicates things. Well, here comes the dragon slayer cuz the evil green monster's goin' down!! Thanks y'all!
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I just last week found out that my ex-gf got married a couple of weeks ago, and I haven't been able to really stop thinking about her since despite my efforts. We broke up a little almost 3 yrs ago and haven't spoken/e-mailed each other in about 2 yrs. I have a relationship of my own to think about, which actually began about a month after we broke up, but she just keep creeping up in the back of my mind. She works for a newspaper and her new hubby (also works there) wrote an article about their getting married the day of. Seeing his pic online (which I harshly criticized mind you) and reading what he had to say about their relationship made me feel very jealous, a little sad, and regrettably, not very happy for either of them. To top it off, on Monday she fwds an article she wrote about a topic she knows I'm interested in w/a short msg that said "looks like someone got married; looks like someone was thinking of you while writing this." Talk about some emotions that stirred up! Anyway, I would just like to forget the whole friggin' thing and get back to being a care-free dude. Boy that green eyed monster sure can be a tough one to conquer, eh! If ya got a few words for me, I'd love to hear 'em. Best regards to all.
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Hey there, Emma. I feel ya on the LD thing for sure. I’m in TX and my gal is in Taiwan. It's now been over a year since we were together, but I'll be visiting for 3 weeks next month. She’s 14 hrs ahead of me time-wise, which makes things really tricky, but we’ve learned to schedule our time together on the phone and web-cam. I wouldn’t give her up for anything, and I know she feels the same for me. As long as you understand that the time apart will end, it does become easier to handle mentally. Just remember, really strive to make the time necessary to sustain the relationship by keeping your communications lines open and keep it spiced up just like you would if he were here. Be strong and hang tough– before you know it, he will be back home and in your arms! Best regards.
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You're right, bananaman-- that's a pretty crappy thing to do, especially on a site like this where people come for advice and/or to share certain personal feelings with everyone else. Don't sweat it-- they're the real loser if they don't have anything better to do than to put on a fake post just to see what kind of response they get and to denegrate the person kind enough to try to help them. Personally, I think it's a bit sick. You should e-mail one of the moderators about who it was and see if you can get that jerk's IP address banned forever. Peace
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I feel ya for sure, Senna. I feel that way a lot more than I would care to. You said 50 days or so, eh? Well, I'm about 8 or 9 months since I last broke up with the person that used to be the love of my life, and I still have really crummy days where all I can do is miss her and wonder what she's up to, who she's with, if she's happy, etc. I've been seeing someone else for about 6 months now, but nonetheless, I still feel the blues from time to time. All I can tell you is that with a bit more time and quite a few more days of feeling kinda sad, those feelings will start to dwindle down more and more. I wish I could also tell you that it goes away completely, but it hasn't for me and I've logged quite a bit of time under my belt since my break-up. Ya can't compare the new person you're with to the last. They are different, and if you start heading down that track, you'll never be satisfied. I'm contradicting myself too, b/c I often find myself doing the same thing, but ya really gotta try not to do that. It's a little hard to learn to forget about all the good times and continue to move on with your life. Your little ending quote says it all, friend. Too many long moments of remembering doesn't do me much good unless I feel like getting out the box of tissues... God bless
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sad puppy, i gotta say i'm sorry to hear about your problem. that's one of the worst things that can happen to a guy. i believe crookster really nailed it on the head with his comments. you just don't need this in your life-- if you were to take this gal back, you're seriously looking for more trouble and most definitely more heartache. i know you love her very much and she probably loves you a lot too. but the real question is, do you want to be in a "committed" relationship with someone whom you can no longer trust? the love is there, but that doesn't always solve everything. love is also quite blinding. it can easily make you blind to the facts of the situation that easily jump out to other people not in your shoes. i say, it's time to do what you gotta do and be done with her. that sounds to me like the only thing to do at this point. if you want friendship from her later on down the line (and i do mean LATER on down the line), so be it, but you need to give yourself some time to let it all absorb in, to grieve over your failed relationship, to heal, and to move on. you can do it, bud-- it's time to say goodbye. All Good Things...
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guess no one has a tale of love, eh! well, i guess if ya did, ya probably wouldn't be at this site, eh! oh well! jdratx