after 9 years, its all over!

hey everyone;

i stubbled on this site yesterday when i was doing a search for some articles on the web. i never thought id join but i read some of the posts and its comforting to see that so many others are going through the same thing i am.

My b/f and i recently split up. we were together for a very long time- 9 years. we had so many dreams together and always spoke about getting married and having kids soon (we're both 25 yrs). just a few months ago when i went home for the holidays (i go to school an hour away- not really long-distance!) he broke up with me. he said that he didnt love me anymore and things have changed for him. we had some problems a month before the break up but i never ever thought it would lead to us breaking up. he told me he loved me and we spent so much together just days before we broke up. it was a huge shock and i still cannot believe he left. i feel so betrayed and hurt. i feel like all my future plans are gone and that ill never feel that way about anyone else again. i felt so comfortable with him and he is the only one that i have been able to feel like that around.

I know everyone says i will get over it and someone else will come along but i really dont think it will happen. has anyone else been in such a long term & totally loving realtionship and has begun to heal yet? i dont know anyone who has.

I may not be the best one to answer your question about the healing, because my eyes are still filled with tears, I was in also in a relativly long and loving relationship, 4 years, two weeks before she broke up with me, she was telling me how much she loved me, and would like to get married soon and have a child together, everything was great between us, and then the Bomb.

I feel betrayed, used, hurt and super depressed, I want a girl just like her, this was the type of girl that would get sad we couldnt be together for 3 days,. I was always the romantic type, and our relationship was always exciting and fun.

I'am getting better, day by day, but still get waves of depression and start to cry. still having trouble with sleep, but appetite is coming back, did loose about 6 pounds though. I really wish there was a way to get her out of my system, I guess its like someone that quits an addiction, im addicted to loving her and being loved by her. when i was with her, I felt i was on top of the world, nothing could touch me, and now, im struggling to find hope for the future.

One thing I know for sure, that I will get over her, and you will also get over him, time does heal all wounds!

Please take care of your self, keep busy even if you dont feel like it, today I started a garden, planting some seeds, and put the image in my head that as the Tomato plants grow, so will my happiness and confidence.

Start some new projects, do stuff you couldnt do before, go see some comedies, / action flicks. the more experiences you have now, will distance your self from what has happened. I know that all those memories will pop up from time to time, but little by little the pain gets weaker and weaker, because you are becoming stronger.

If you need to chat some more, please post, or PM me ill be there for ya.

take care, hugs!.

Hi girl_star, i understand how you feel. Just last week my girlfirend of 5 years left me and like you she was always telling me how much she loved me and how she was looking forward to us buying our first house and having kids. She broke my world and shattered my dreams.

I dont really know what advise to give, i only looked at this site a couple of days ago. I am the soft, stupid romantic type and most nights i have cryed myself to sleep. People say that love is blind, and it seems that you, me and gilgamesh have been poked in the eye. I know your are hurting now but i tell myself that i will get over her.

The one piece of advice i can give is dont let him see you miserable, force yourself to smile. Surround your self with friends and take any invitations that they offer. Lean on your friends for support, after all thats what they are there for.

If you want to talk, post a message or PM me or what ever you do to talk to people here.

thanks to benirwin & giglamesh for your responses and support. i know everyone says time heals all wounds and im sure eventually time will lessen the pain for me too. i dont think however that i will ever forget all of our memories and that really sucks... at least for now it does. thanks again and by the way, how are you guys doing?

I think im ok considering the crap im going through, to be honest i just need to talk to someone.