Letting go

Hello all,

I started a new thread because I’ve entered a new phase of the breakup. We ended almost two weeks ago, he pulled the trigger but long story short he ended it because he couldn’t get passed knowing we probably wouldn’t work long term. He cites money and stress as a big factor that he didn’t think we had the resources or willingness to put in the effort to make something work. He has admitted he’s not happy but knows this is what’s best for the future. I am four years older, am finishing up my last bit of school and he is just starting doesn’t have a career plan etc. our relationship was never amazing but it was easy and good- no spark.

How do you come to terms with those memories just being memories? He was my best friend for 8 months, so difficult adjusting to being alone. The thought of dating others physically makes me feel ill as well as thinking of him being with others.

He recently deleted me and all my friends off his Facebook and social media and said he did it to help keep his mind off of it.

I’ve accepted it’s done, haven’t cried in multiple days and am just focusing on work and school but I️ get so lonely and sad when I️ think about how our memories are done just like that, no more building. 8 months and now we are nothing. Still at that point where i feel like I’ll never move on with someone else.

5 years married worth of memories over here. I'm 4 weeks out. It's SLOWLY getting better *

Your emotions will process themselves as you go along.

In the meantime do all you can to keep everything else on track. Eat good food. Stay off the alcohol and drugs. Get as much of a regular sleep pattern as you can.

Exercise. Even go for walks.

Make sure you have at least one good friend you can call on at any time. Ask them if they can be your breakup wing...

For now, set small goals. Get through each half hour at a time.

Slowly those half hours will become hours will become days...

Stay Strong. You're gonna be ok.

Carus*

Credit to Carus, hit the nail on the head, ever seen the picture of the human mind depicted as an iceberg?that is exactly what it is, those emotions will certainly come up several times but at the same time will deal with itself and gradually you start to be calmer and more effective at the activities and goals, you subconsciously receive some fulfillment and satisfaction in yourself, this will boost you.

It will be hard to suppress those emotions, but with routine changes and hard work you can get through.

I also have triggers from my breakup, we were together for 2.5 yrs, broke up in Sept, we drank a coffee and every morning and you can imagine waking up alone to drink my coffe alone but with time it gets better and I’m working hard on my goals trying to calm down and take things slowly

Carus and Young Mind have this covered..

These damn triggers pop up everywhere!

Stay strong Maddyb!

I still feel like he’s on my mind 24/7, ugh does that ever go away?

Yes, it gets easier, but not straight away.

It is a slow process, but the main factor is TIME.

Use the time for yourself to heal from this.

I just don’t know how to move on from someone who wasn’t bad to me. It would be easier if he was awful and treated me bad but he was great and our break up blind sided me

I just don’t know how to move on from someone who wasn’t bad to me. It would be easier if he was awful and treated me bad but he was great and our break up blind sided me

I know how you feel. My ex treated me wonderfully. It was I who failed her.

You cannot have that train of thought. Like the others have said time will heal you. I am learning it slowly. Have my good days and bad. You will get through it.

Piaresssss is spot on Maddyb.

Sending you positive thoughts.