Genuine help and advice needed

Hi all, I have asked for advice of course but I'm not looking for harsh 'get urself together' comments. Not that I can't handle truths but I am fully aware I should move on and forget this person but the trouble is no matter how much I try or don't try, he's there still....

I met a guy a year ago and we instantly clicked! Agreed, we were both out drinking so most people would likely say it was just lust. Maybe it was but I felt a strong connection. I was in a bit of a messy situation at the time and got drunk and upset etc all in one evening and ended up kissing a couple of other people but I literally felt nothing! So when I saw this same guy from the start of the night later on he said he'd seen me kiss other ppl so he wasn't special. Granted I get where he was coming from but I genuinely hadn't felt anything in so long apart from when I kissed him.

I saw him several nights out after this and tried messaging to meet as friends..... sober..... and he said yes he'd like to but never committed to it. Likely due to my personal circumstances. We stopped talking etc for 6 months after he said enough is enough and I should leave him be. So I did. I then got a random message saying Hi and that he hadn't seen me around town in a while so he was worried and thought he'd check in. After our last messages I never thought I'd hear from him again!!

We've seen each other out and kissed over the times and it's genuinely really passionate. He has the biggest smile when he sees me. But he's completely different when we message and blanks me. Like he doesn't want more from me. I know most ppl reading this will be like... he only wants one thing, but he didn't even want that. Well he did... but I was the one hinting at it. I honestly feel there's something there and others have said it too from when they see him with me. But nothing comes of it.

It's driven me mad for the past 15 months and no matter how hard I try I can't forget him. He says I'm such a nice person but when I message asking him to just say why he doesn't want more from me he ignores me rather than manning up and just saying.

I know already in my head ur all screaming at me to get over it but I have tried and so far he's still in my heart. I wish he wasn't as it hurts. When I think I'm getting over it all I dream about him and it's all real again 😔

Please help x

I know most ppl reading this will be like... he only wants one thing, but he didn't even want that. Well he did... but I was the one hinting at it

trying to word this nicely ....when you offer it on a plate and the man doesn't want it , you really have to take note of that , as for the kissing ...well when he met you you kissed two different people infront of him , I am guessing you are all drinking as you see him out and about it is probably nothing more then alcohol fueled , knowing he can , cos you do .

not relevant now ....

Not now. We were divorcing at the time, hence my messy situation. And I know it's probably nothing more than us kissing every time we see each other but this post was mostly about how to get him out my head and heart. As a year on I still can't.

Not now. We were divorcing at the time, hence my messy situation. And I know it's probably nothing more than us kissing every time we see each other but this post was mostly about how to get him out my head and heart. As a year on I still can't.

ahh right I understand , my mistake ... Same routine that everyone has to go through in that case ... blocking all contact so he can't send you the odd hello here and there and are there other places you can go so you wont bump into him .

I have tried all that. Blocking on everything I can think of and it's not a massive place so only one place we all end up at the end of a night out. I've even stopped going out! I listen to a song and he's there. My dreams really bring him back. And I literally can't drive past certain places without being reminded. I've never had this before. I really wish he would disappear from me but he won't. Hmmmm...

I have tried all that. Blocking on everything I can think of and it's not a massive place so only one place we all end up at the end of a night out. I've even stopped going out! I listen to a song and he's there. My dreams really bring him back. And I literally can't drive past certain places without being reminded. I've never had this before. I really wish he would disappear from me but he won't. Hmmmm...

It took me a while with my last ex , but prior to him I was usually off one horse and straight back on another , time does eventually heal .

Thank you. I hope in time I can forget, or at least live in acceptance. I just feel quite silly as we were never an item. Just 'something' seems to connect us. One way or another. Maybe it's just me, I am an emotional hopeless romantic but usually if I block someone etc I get over it. It's like my subconscious won't even let go.

Thank you. I hope in time I can forget, or at least live in acceptance. I just feel quite silly as we were never an item. Just 'something' seems to connect us. One way or another. Maybe it's just me, I am an emotional hopeless romantic but usually if I block someone etc I get over it. It's like my subconscious won't even let go.

It might be as simple as , you never got him ..always makes us want someone and many times we get there and realise the chase was the best bit and also he obviously gave you a distraction at a time in your life that was hard and you needed some male validation ,given that you were going through a divorce . You need to remind yourself that you deserve happiness and to be with someone who wants you as much as you want them .

👍🏻 ur right!