Not even a Day 1 of no contact

I left my now ex a message and I saw earlier he read it when he woke up which I was surprised. At times I feel okay I can do this, but I hear his voice through some voice messages he left me, or even old messages he would send me when I was sleeping so I could wake and see them in the morning. I can't can't even look at pictures without completely falling apart. My family doesn't know, but have asked me if he is coming down anytime soon and I just answered no. When I did call last night he said he was at work and I told him I just wanted to know how he's doing and if he's okay. He told fine just working. I know he has literally been working his a** off. He works nights and sometimes more than a 12 hour shift just to pick up where someone never showed up. I then asked him if it was ok to call during his break or after shift since then is what he always use to do. "He told me that he really doesn't want to talk, like I said a long time ago I was done and he can't do it anymore." I can't help to still blame myself and still want him back. I left some messages nothing bad just a million questions like why? Why always say you care about someone and have been dumped by previous relationships and tried your hardest, but with me he never seemed to try to fight it to make it work. I just asked if we could have just a deep comversation. I know some of it is the distance, but I was willing to close the gap and move. I had already looked up the colleges for what I would like to major in and work opportunites. I can't just move now, but I thought it would be smart to just browse and look ahead if this plan did go though. He can't even see me( facetime) or hear my voice because I believe it bothers him since it is not something I really like to show. He has never cried in front of me, but always remained strong, but soft and understanding. I guess what I was wondering was is there ever a chance he would contact me? Or that he is hurting just as much as I am? I have left alone as I feel like the texts will drive him crazy and have anger towards me, but I have typed what I felt, but I don't even know if he does read it that he blows it off or it has reached him? It stings ecen more when I think about everything he probably has erased of me and just move on? I can't even look at a pic or his smile without just breaking down on the spot. He means the world to me and I still want to be hopeful ( hopeless romantic) and have it work. The only form of communication is through phone calls/ Facetime/ texts or online on Facebook. How do I get him to open up without blowing off on me with anything he is going through? He has shut me and our mutual or any friends of his all together. I want to reconcile so much and hate how I wish we never argued that night and I never asked if he was okay?or something wrong since he was work on his feet all day. It went from there. I have never cried so much or move on, but I don't know how to let him feel comforted since I cannot be there physically? Not in a sex kind of way either, but a leaning shoulder. I know I changed a lot because of some big obstacles I am dealing with, but yet so has he. Has anyone ever been long distance where there was a fight and breaking it off, but then the S/ O contacting back and actually having a successful relationship? Is no contact even good to have? If so, how long is good for NC? I just wish he would reach up to me as its the only hope I have sometimes to keep me moving around and not segregate myself in my bed all day with my face already burning so much from crying. I feel I have always been pretty strong most of my life, but this has literally been my break up point.