When does it stop hurting so much?

Hi everyone,

I've posted a couple of times before about my break up. I know it's still early days (he only broke up with me under 2 months ago) but he was in a new relationship two weeks after the breakup. They've been VERY public about their new relationship and after me blocking them on social media their friends started sharing pictures of them both together so I've had to deactivate my social media accounts. They also live very close to me so I constantly see them driving past my house together.

I thought I was making a bit of progress but the past week has been terrible - I've cried myself to sleep every night. Nothing seems to help these days either, after the break up I threw myself into the gym and took up new hobbies but they're not giving me the escape they did a month ago. I even tried leaving the country for a few days to get some distance but I just missed him more. I've been through breakups before but this one is by far the worst.

I know I probably sound pathetic for still hurting two months after the breakup but I feel as if I've hit an imaginary wall and I can't seem to get over it. My question is how long did it take for you guys to stop hurting so much? And is it normal to hurt MORE as time goes on before you start hurting less? Is this normal?

I caught the woman I love 3 weeks ago with another man. not seen her since, texted a few times, been 4 days since contact and I have deleted her number I told her its pointless she has destroyed me. I like you and many other on here are hurting just as bad. Its that feeling of having them near you just for a cuddle which I miss the most. I wish I could tell you the answer but I,m on the same train as you . I have a bad spell then i pull myself round and it eases a bit..all I know is the human body will put the programs in place to make sure all the pain goes away one day. suppose it takes some people longer than others but the day will arrive and all this will be a lesson learnt to make a better me ..and you and everyone else who,s going through it.

Yes, it does get better. And yes, it's normal to have pain come and go in waves, or periods of up and down. I can assure you it does get better, but you have to ride the waves so to speak to get there. Keep doing things, treating yourself kindly, filling up the days with new experiences and lean on your network of friends and family for support.

Everyone is different, but generally heartache is best healed with time and new experiences and yes, you were smart to get off social media. It will help.

He also sounds like a for blasting his new relationship everywhere when he couldn't manage to be single for a month out. That does not bode well for the new girl though, because he will likely lose interest in her and then about the time you're healed she'll be in your shoes.

Hold your head high, you've done nothing wrong. And life will take over and pull you along into new beginnings and yes, the pain does fade. And then you'll just be indifferent finally, but you have a few stages of grief ahead of you. All I can tell you to do is cope with each one as it comes along and remind yourself that this too will pass as have other bad moments in life.

But yeah, breakups just suck, there is no getting around that. Treat yourself kindly, remind yourself it's his problem, because jumping into a new relationship that fast is a signal that something isn't right with him, and that's not on you. Keep going, vent here or ask for advice, it's all good and we are here to help each other out.

Yes, there is life after a breakup, I've been through a few of them, some rougher than others, but I always healed and moved on. You will too, but give yourself time and don't beat yourself up about any of it. Internet hug.

When they drive by and your new bf's Maserati is in your driveway.

Constant reminders suck, however it will get better and you will rebuild new adventures and memories and a social life with someone when you are ready

Guys thank you so much for your replies. I feel as if my friends have got a bit tired of me being so upset after breaking up weeks ago so it helps so much to have a whole community of people who are willing to listen and kind enough to respond with advice.

Pete I think we're in the same boat. Breaking up is hard enough but when they move on to someone else without any warning - it's like a kick to the stomach when you're already down. I feel like our exs could have at least given the relationship enough respect to wait a month at the very least!

ParisPaulette your advise makes a lot of sense to me so thank you so much for that. It sucks because the girl he's now with is his best friend and I now have the feeling he left me for her and if that's the case I think he must have always had feelings for her so he probably won't get sick of her. I just wish I wasn't the girl that he was killing time with while he waited for her to become available, because I really loved the guy.

And wiseman I will do my best to find out where all the men with Maserati's hang out! How are things with you going anyway - any progress?

Hi everyone,

 

I've posted a couple of times before about my break up. I know it's still early days (he only broke up with me under 2 months ago) but he was in a new relationship two weeks after the breakup. They've been VERY public about their new relationship and after me blocking them on social media their friends started sharing pictures of them both together so I've had to deactivate my social media accounts. They also live very close to me so I constantly see them driving past my house together.

 

I thought I was making a bit of progress but the past week has been terrible - I've cried myself to sleep every night. Nothing seems to help these days either, after the break up I threw myself into the gym and took up new hobbies but they're not giving me the escape they did a month ago. I even tried leaving the country for a few days to get some distance but I just missed him more. I've been through breakups before but this one is by far the worst.

 

I know I probably sound pathetic for still hurting two months after the breakup but I feel as if I've hit an imaginary wall and I can't seem to get over it. My question is how long did it take for you guys to stop hurting so much? And is it normal to hurt MORE as time goes on before you start hurting less? Is this normal?

It is normal . I went through a tough breakup also. It's been seven months and it's still hard. Certain things make me cry but I get stronger everyday. I recently ran across an app called Mend . It's really helpful I just did the trial but I would have paid back when I first broke up. It takes you through the process I wish I had it back then. Good luck to you I know it's tough.

Hi Hope, thanks for the recommendation. I have literally just downloaded that app and it looks good. I'm willing to try anything at this stage! Thanks so much for your advice and good luck with your recovery

I would download this app but my phone is one of them old nokia,s .. It takes 30 mins to just connect to google and has about a 5 pixel screen. My digital phone broke so I am just using the old one again. never let me down ..unlike my GF..