Living a nightmare: getting over my ex

Im posting this because my life is outta control and idk what else to do its a doozy so sit tight.

I dated my ex for 2.5 years. We were so in love. We had alot of good times and alot of bad times. The bad times were due to my drug addiction and alcohol. She was always there for me even when i would treat her like .

I went to prison about 2 years in for passing out in my car and crashing and hurting someone. When i was there the last time she visited i felt like she wanted to break up. The next month she stopped answering my calls and didnt visit when she said she would. The next month we finally talked and she wanted me to put money on the phone but because i had so little and i felt like we would break up i told her i couldnt. After a couple months of not talking i sent her a prison mail system message whitch she said she never got asking her about breaking up. I thought about her constantly and finally after13 months into my 16 month sentence i started calling her my ex.

I got out about 5 months ago and got rid of everything that reminded me of her. Although i had hate for her i knew i still loved her and wanted to be with her. She sent me a facebook message 2 weeks after i got out trying to explain things but i could just be mean. The next few months i got a good job continnued to workout and hangout with friends, going on tinder to try and find someone etc. I started drinking heavy again and we continued to message occasionally and it was a mix of love and hate while she could only say nice things. (I thought it might be because i still owed her 800$ and she was is a college student)

This last 2 months i quit hangingout and started drinking really heavy. She asked me finally to go to lunch. My whole life was spinning out of control and i kept thinking about her. She posted something on fb a few weeks ago about her loving someone who loved someone else. I was so mad and drunk i did nothing but berate her through phone and fb. Even while she was still nice. She blocked me on both. I made fake fb accounts and emailed to talk to her. At this point i was drunk all the time skipping work and nonstop trying to talk to her. I couldnt concentrate on anything else.

She unblocked my # and agreed to go on a date so we could get to know each other again. At our date she told me all the things she wanted me to change and also she had slept with10+ guys within the year since we stopped talking. She was a virgin when we met but after almost 2 years we started having sex so i was heartbroken. Even though she said she thought it went well and we kissed and hugged (i paid her) after that day i couldnt stop contacting her sending love hate messages she finally blocked me and told me it wouldnt work.

Last week i took off and stayed drunk. One night i sent her a voicemail saying i was going to kill myself and after missing quite a few calls i finally answered her where we talked awhile and she said again it was over. When she hung up i ate a bottle of aleve and kept drinking hoping it would end.

She asked my parents if i was ok in the morning wich made me feel better, the next couple days was filled with calls and messages with nothing but love and she finnally told me she doesnt care anymore stated my problems and said she would call 911 if id continue and that shed have her # changed within a week.

I have not called her since. I got in trouble with work and my parole agent this past week. Im seeing a therpist and am scheduled to start substance abuse classes, alcohol tether, and see a psychologist who will peobably put me on meds. I dk what else to do because i still cannot stop thinking about her and looking at my phone waiting for a message. I cannot focus on anything else and i feel my life slipping into more of a downword spiral.

She's not the problem. Focus on the things you outlined that your parole officer warned you to do. Im seeing a therpist and am scheduled to start substance abuse classes, alcohol tether, and see a psychologist.

I know shes not the problem and i plan on doing those things it just seems impossible right now. Thank you for the advice.

Get a freaking grip on your life, man. Calling your ex pretending to kill yourself? What's wrong with you?

You have huge problems to sort out in your life. You're an alcoholic. You almost killed someone drunk driving or whatever sugar coating "falling asleep" behind the wheel means. The last thing you need right now is to be worrying about a woman or a relationship. Get a grip on your life. You shouldn't even be on here asking about this, you should be getting professional help at this point with the drinking and other things. You're lucky you didn't spent a decade or more of your life in prison and kill someone. Take this opportunity to straighten out your life.

I did try to kill myself but i get what your saying. Thats what i need to focus on.

Seems like you've gone threw hell and back.

I recently got my heart broken by a blindsided man of lies and cheating. I couldn't beleive it because it all seemed so great. Until I saw the truth.

Anyways. I once dated a guy....my most serious relationship ever. He was 5 years older than me. And I moved in to a place with him. About a year into that....he got arrested and went to jail for a year. That to was a blind side because he was hiding things from me. But anyways being the person that I am. I felt even though maybe it was a sign to go on my own. I decided I couldn't give up on him when he needed me the most.

I stayed in our apartment and stuggle hard. Had to go to the food bank at times just to get by alone. Anyways when he got back he was worst to me then when he left. ..he came back usuig chewing tobacco and doing rods. .. make me out to be the bad person all the time for being suspicious . I ended up saving my money and leaving him one day never to return.

However....my point is... being with someone while they are locked up is hard.... it's hard on you because that all the hope you have when you get out. And it's hard on us knowing we are alone. I now know I would never do it again or stay around for half the I did then.

When u love someone ita hard to get over them. But as time goes it does get easier.

And what you two have doesn't sound like love. I think you just miss a person being there. Go be with friends and family! You sound younge u have all the time in the world to better your self and be happy.