What sort of behaviour is this?

So whilst this story happened quite some time ago now, my friend and I were discussing 'hey do you remember when you liked *blank*?' the other day and as the story has so many ups and downs and weird behaviour I thought I would ask the members of enotalone for their opinions. I'm asking for these opinions because this guy showed so many weird behavioural traits for 2 1/2 years and everyone was wondering what was going on- I want some outside perspectives.

I was completely new to my high school and tried to befriend everyone (which I think I succeeded in doing but some more than others). I'll call this guy Jay. Jay and I were polar opposites with regards to priorities, people we hung out with, interests, practically everything. However Jay and I managed to form a relatively decent friendship in our first year of high school. He would often ask me to hang out with him at lunch times, just me and him in our school library, I'd catch him looking at me in class, he'd usually want to partner up with me and pretty soon friends started teasing us saying how we liked each other (to which he would blush and adamantly deny). Jay and I had loads of lessons together so I'd see him everyday and talk with him at school.

The following year we were no longer in classes together and would never be again after that. It was around this time I started to have feelings for Jay. I would see him pass around school and we'd say hi but everything just seemed to stop- we drifted. After a few months of keeping it underwraps, I finally told him I liked him, to which he rejected. I can understand how someone having feelings for their friend can create super awkward tensions so I gave Jay lots of space over the next few months to let him get past it. During this time (and for the next 2 years) he would not stop looking at me and would still try to get my attention if I was around. I eventually confronted him about it because it was kind of creeping me out and making me uncomfortable to be around him, to which he flipped it back on me and said I was the one looking at him (even though lots of people could see it was him looking at me). We had petty arguments but his behaviour generally became more jerkish.

Another tense year at school passed and the looks continued. When we reached year 12 (a year and a half after I had told him I liked him) his behaviour just plummeted even more. He would still try to get my attention (which I still don't know why because I thought he didn't like me ???) so I eventually got so annoyed that I said that the situation was too awkward and that he should leave me alone. A few months later he accused me of creeping him out and saying I 'harassed' and bothered him. He deleted me off Facebook after he spread a rumour about me sleeping with someone when I wasn't and we are not friends on there to this day (now 2 years later). I am and will never make any attempt to add him back because he is now long gone out of my life, due to him leaving the school at the start of year 13. I should say that this guy was not very bright and pretty average and basic, he is not the type to be cunning and play mind games- he's just generally not that smart. I have come across very intelligent boys/men who are able to manipulate and play mind games and they are just completely different types of people. I honestly don't know why his behaviour got like this as he's just not really smart enough to play games and mess with me. He was a very plain and average person. His behaviour has always puzzled the friends who are aware of this story so I wanted to know an outside perspective. I have no interest in contacting him again as I don't like what he's become but I just wanted to see what others thought

I wonder if he may be gay? I know that when I was back in high school. I was in a similar situation as you. The guy flipped out when he found out I liked him and spread rumors and lies about me. He made high school unpleasant for me.

Turns out in college when I ran into him again that he had been struggling with his sexuality and couldn't come to grips with it so he lashed out. He was genuinely sorry.

I just wonder if this guy was harboring a secret like that by the way he turned on you when you told him you had feelings for him. It probably made him feel vulnerable and scared if he is gay but wasnt sure at the time and didn't know how to react.

Lisa

Hi Lisa, he is currently expecting a child with another girl. I wish them all the best but your comment is certainly interesting

Oh oops! 😳😳

Okay I was way off! I would say he was just very immature when it came to dealing with feelings. Sounds like he lashed out, out of insecurities of his own.

Lisa

The staring part I have no idea. But telling people you slept with someone was just vindictive on his part. Getting back at you for embarrassing him (confronting him about the creepy staring and attention seeking).

By the way never underestimate someone's ability to be manipulative. I don't believe it follows a certain type of personality or intelligence...

He does seem weird though. Do you know if he was an only child?

Hi True Story, from what I know he has a younger sister but I have been told by people who were close to him that he has been practically spoon fed by his parents his entire life. Maybe in that case he never learnt how to understand social situations, I really don't know. His behaviour around me was so this way and that that nobody ever really knew what he was thinking or how he really felt.