Scared to Meet My Boyfriend's Friends

I'm in college and Im dating this guy. We've been together for about a month. My boyfriend is super outgoing and LITERALLY has like 20 friends he talks to throughout the day. He always invited me to the cafeteria to chill with them but his group of friend is soooo huge! Theres like 15 people in his clique, guys and girls. I dont know any of them. I have friends, but theyre close friends and Im happy with the fact that I dont have a ton of them. He loves making new friends and talks to so many people. I feel so awkward being around his huge group of friends but I dont want them to think Im stuck up, what do I do?

It's tough for me to go out in my city without running into people I know, and I've had gf's say the same as you. It's easy though, and a very valuable life skill.

1. Walk up to the table and first say hi to him. A PDA isn't required, but a hug or whatever is fine and it shows you two are close, then sit wherever - even not near him- introduce yourself and ask questions of those around you. People enjoy it when someone shows interest, and they'll like you.

2. If you know you two will be going someplace where he knows a lot of people, ask him to give you some info on who you're likely to meet or at least who is more important to him and why. Then when you meet them you can say "I've heard so much about you..." and ask them questions based on what you know. Again, they'll like you for it. You'll be displaying characteristics that everyone wishes they had more of, and these are also highly attractive characteristics so long as you're genuine and just be yourself not fake and overly flattering, etc.

When you're older, especially if you're in business, sales, or aspire to any kind of celebrity (maybe for a brilliant business idea, or whatever) this skill is a must. So too if someday you date highly accomplished men who might like you to have some independence in a crowd and be able to "work the room".

Look up some techniques online for remembering people's names, and use their names with some regularity. People like that. Again, don't overdo it so it seems fake. Be judicious. If you run into them again and you remember their name, use their name and remind them what yours is so they don't feel awkward for forgetting. "Hi Susan, nice to see you again. I'm Janice... yeah... I'm John's friend, we met in the cafeteria last week. How'd your science project turn out, I remember you'd mentioned it was an important part of your grade.." Simple things like that blows minds, you make people feel good and you learn a little from everyone you engage in a conversation.

Have fun meeting these people! As my mom used to say "you are who you're with" or "birds of a feather flock together", so you'll learn a lot about your bf by learning about his friends, how they know each other, hearing stories of their travels, escapades or whatever.

I'm skeptical that anyone has the time and energy to maintain 20+ quality friends in their life... Anyways, good friends of his will want to like you, so just be friendly and make yourself comfortable however you feel comfortable (within socially acceptable boundaries).

It's not like you're jumping onto a stage, so don't think of them as a crowd. Slip into lunch, sit next to BF, and speak with one person at a time--over t.i.me. as opportunity permits. Then you'll be able to pick out a few that you really like and can feel comfortable about getting to know better going forward.

Hey, I know the feeling. Maybe you can bring one of your friends with you the next time he asks you to sit with a group of his friends or go out in a large group. If the friend is more skilled at smalltalk, she can help you, make sure you don't need to say too much if you don't want to and take care you don't end up as the silent wallflower, either.

You can also talk to your boyfriend and explain to him, why it's so difficult for you to deal with 20 loud, unknown people at once.

He could make some plans in a smaller group and invite just 2 or 3 of his more mellow friends to go out with him, you and a friend of yours.

And once you get to know a few of his friends, it'll be easier to cope with the big groups. Chances are, he won't really understand right away how it can be hard for you to be in large groups and expected to socialize 'on command', but he'll get it eventually.