I find it absolutely impossible to forget about my first love

I'm 18 years old and in about a month and a half it will be a year since I've even heard from or seen my first love, and yet my heart still hurts for like its been recent. I do everything I can to forget about him, I make sure not to visit his social media pages, I threw away every single thing that he's ever given me, or anything that reminds me of him. I've deleted any picture of us on my phone and social media, deleted his number and the last time I tried to initiate contact was one Facebook message about 4 months ago and no reply. Yet all I do is think about him, and wonder if he thinks of me, even thought I'm pretty sure he doesn't.

He hurt me pretty badly.

Ask your parents if their medical coverage will cover some therapy sessions. This has crossed the line from upset/heart broken to unhealthy obsession.

The words we use to talk to ourselves about events in our lives can be very powerful. If we find ourselves stuck feeling or thinking a certain way, it takes time, practice, and perhaps help (such as therapy, like mhowe suggested) to change.

For example

I find it *absolutely impossible* to forget about my first love.

can become

I find it *sometimes impossible* to forget about my first love

and then

I find it *extremely difficult* to forget about my first love

or

I *sometimes find it painful* when I remember "Joe"

or

Sometimes I remember "Joe", the good times and bad times we had

or

I learned a lot from my first love, and I am in a new place now, becoming a new person, with a new future ahead, and a new love at some point. I'll take what I've learned and be a better person for it.

...There are so many ways to talk to ourselves, to reinforce our ideas about ourselves and the world around us, or to explore new perceptions….

There's no time limit to just wash away heartache over someone you had feelings for. Just keep working on moving on. A psychology professor once told me that no other person should ever be your reason for living. You were fine before you fell for her. Don't let it cripple you. Easier said than done I know but there it is.