Ask For Advice
Results 1 to 8 of 8

Thread: When a guy invites you to his place

  1. #1
    orange1234
    Bronze Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    Posts
    101

    When a guy invites you to his place

    This will sound silly or stupid to most people but I usually have difficulty guessing what it means when a guy (who I'm not dating yet) asks me if I want to come over to his place. Does he most likely have sex in mind?

    With my most recent ex, nothing happened the first time I went to his place (not even kissing). But some guys seem to think agreeing to go to his place = agreeing to have sex.

    Would it be insulting if I went to his place and didn't let him touch me? Should I never say yes if I'm not ready to have sex with him? If so, what's a good way to turn his offer down gently when he asks if I want to watch a movie or do whatever at his place?

    Thanks.

  2. #2
    Blacklisted
    Member Blacklisted's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    Posts
    13
    Gender
    Male
    Could you give a little bit more information? Like age and how you know the person and for how long? Because it depends. I don't think that they usually mean sex the first time unless they are picking you up from a club or something and try to bring you back,

  3. #3
    Deejmonster
    Platinum Member Deejmonster's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Location
    Southern New Jersey
    Posts
    1,101
    Gender
    Male
    Thanked
    1
    In my experience it could go either way. You say you know this guy, but you aren't dating... is he a casual friend? or just someone you met? If you don't want to have sex with him or are a little uncomfortable with the fact that something might happen you need to just be honest with him and tell him that you aren't ok or ready for anything like that to happen. If he can't respect that, then you found out early enough to just steer clear. Usually when I bring a girl over for the first time, I know in the back of my mind that sex could happen, but its never a motivator to bring a girl to my place... with that said, I usually wait the first time out.

  4. #4
    PaintWithLight
    Platinum Member PaintWithLight's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Posts
    3,226
    Thanked
    355
    Make him take you OUT. There is nothing to be gained by being the girl of convenience that comes over and hangs out.

  5. #5
    blueidealist24
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Posts
    4,122
    Thanked
    99
    I think the guy's usually hoping something physical will happen. If not sex, then kissing or fooling around. But saying you'll go over doesn't 'contract' you to having sex with him. He can't say "but you said you would come over, so that means you're obligated to have sex with me." You're never obligated to do anything whether at someone's place or not. If you're really suspicious, get him to meet you in a public place.

  6. #6
    parkbom
    Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Posts
    74
    omg i went over to my friends house that i knew from a friend i met online and nothing happened the first time as i was shy and didnt talk much then the second something happened and we made out everytime i was over so then i was like thats it. If you only want some and won't take me out on a real date then i'm not gonna talk or hang out with you. I still talk to him once in awhile. But i rather avoid him. Anyways now, I went over to my friends house last week that I met only last month. Well i knew him before that. He knows my friends and stuff and he knows my brother and he knows him.

    Now, he would occassionally ask me to hang out with his frineds and i reject since I have a boyfriend. But now i'm thinking of breaking up with my boyfriend due to our differences. So last week i hung out with him and his friend and watched a movie and then he invited me to his house. he's a sweet guy and people on the forums said he likes me. BUt he has not tried anything yet but of course most guy would love to start something. He invited me a second time and I didn't go because I don't want to repeat what happebed with my friend. But i don't think he would do anything because my brother will beat him up. So thursday we hung out and watched a movie with his friends . Sweet guy though. You have to kind of tell what kind of guy he is. If he invites you to his house all of a sudden and doesnt ask you to hang out with him or his friends.. Then he's hiding something.. Don't be stupid like me... dont be naive either...

  7. #7
    orange1234
    Bronze Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    Posts
    101
    Thank you everyone for responding! I actually meant to ask what men generally expect when a girl agrees to come over to his place. I mean, I don't want to be too suspicious but do guys really mean it when they say they just want to watch a movie at him place? I sort of take it as a modus operandi, and I get slightly nervous no matter how casually he asks.

    But the scenario I'm facing right now is something like this: We met online (not on a dating site though) four months ago and after a month of chatting, we decided to meet up. Neither of us was interested in being more than friends but we kept writing to each other and met up for dinner a couple of times. Then he left for a two month business trip during which he has kept writing to me daily. Anyway, it turns out we like each other a lot, although we both want to take things slow. We have planned things we want to do when he comes back, and it includes things that might require me going to his place.

    I know I know, he hasn't asked yet, but I hate the suspicious feelings I get whenever a guy asks me to come over. And I hate it when I have to sit and wonder when he's going to "start it", or whether he's thinking about it. How do I relax?

    I may not have to experience any of these feelings with this guy I'm talking about, since he seems really slow with girls despite the fact that he's in his early thirties (I'm in my mid twenties). But I guess I still wanted someone to assure me that men aren't necessarily thinking about getting physical when a girl is over.

    By the way, I'm moving a few weeks after he comes back from his trip and we're both busy so we have minimum time together. Neither of us finds the distance a problem if we do start dating, and he says he'll visit me, but would an average guy hope to have some kind of physical activity before the relationship becomes long distance?

    It seems like he's not an average guy so this question might be nonsense, but I wanted to ask anyway.

  8. #8
    blueidealist24
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Posts
    4,122
    Thanked
    99
    Honestly, I think they always ARE thinking about something physical, but it's not necessarily sex. I don't think most guys want to force you to do anything, but having you come over to JUST watch a movie is not their IDEAL goal. Even if you're sitting two feet apart on the couch, if they're attracted to you, they're probably THINKING about kissing you even if they don't end up trying. Since this guy moves slow I think he might be hoping for a kiss, but not thinking that much about sex at this stage. If you want to send the message though that you're not 'open for business' lol, don't get touchy feely and make sure you keep your personal space, like sit a few feet from him or even on another piece of furniture.

  9.  

Top Threads
Chronically late girlfriend
Well, where to start... sorry this is a bit of a long post, but hopefully it's quite interesting or entertaining!... My girlfriend is chronically
He wants me to chase him !
Hello all, I have posted about a man I have been interested in and here is another one. : ) Seems very shy and we have gone back and forth
The back n forth guy. Please help!
I have a dilemma that is driving me crazy. I really need some advice badly! Feel like im goin mad as i dont know what to do! Ill try and keep it
Need some advice please!
So I started talking to this guy threw a dating app. We talk everyday since the before the 4 of July. Just asking get to know type questions And
Idk what I see in these men?
So I fell for a guy who was not at same place in life as me. I ignored my instincts of what he lacked (age, maturity level etc) and fell for the
Healing and getting over a crush.
I am in my 40s, divorced last year and have had a really painful crush on a woman I have known for some time that sadly has not been
Depression after sex
Here is the back story: I met this guy on a dating site. We instantly connected and we texted for a few days and met up on the weekend. It really
Featured Threads
Parent and relationships problems
So clearly i need help sooo i will get right into the story.....sorry its so long I am a 25 year old male who is in a relationship with my 19
My boyfriend is trying to date other woman on online dating site.
I really need help. I am so confused. My boyfriend is on online dating site. He said he wants to date other women. We were on and off relationship
My wife left me without having even a talk
Hi everybody, I wonder if this is normal just to leave a marriage of 7 years without having a proper talk before moving on? It happened to me that
Confused about FWB
Last weekend my FWB and I made plans to meet up. He drove down from his place to go to a party with friends, afterwards he was coming to spend the
Everything is just JUMBLED
I have an extremely, EXTREMELY screwed up life. At least from my point of view it is. At least I think I'm the only one that knows my own
Getting over someone to be with them again later?
Long story short, my ex broke up with me after 4 years because he said he was immature and needed to grow up without me and part of that was meeting
Need Advice - it's urgent for me
Hello Everyone, I meesed up my life and I take full responsibilty. I ned advice and what to do to remedy the situation immediately and prevent it
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •