What do I do about this? I hurt.

So my ex boyfriend and I get along great, our first date was amazing and we immediately connected. Everything was going great until he started freaking out because I wasn't a Christian. He told me he should have never started talking to me because of it...well he ended up staying with me and everything was going great. Then a month later he started talking to his pastor and the pastor said we should just be friends...so he tells me that we can be more than friends but we can't kiss or anything a regular couple would do. So...that went out the window even though I tried to make him stick to it but he changed his mind. So that happened a FEW times actually but we always ended up back together. So everything is fine and one day he posts this status on fb that totally contradicted everything he's ever said to me. So I asked him about it and he said he wasn't sure if God even wanted him to be married or be in a relationship..but in the end he decided to stay with me. THEN a little bit later, he texts me and says he needs out of the relationship because he's not ready to be in one, and he had a talk with a friend and his friend said it would be best to get out..so he dumped me and shortly after, he realized he "made the biggest mistake of his life" and we decided to be together but NOT stay the night together, just be in a relationship but act like friends...makes so much sense...ha. Anyways, everything was going GREAT then out of nowehere he started acting weird so this time I dumped him (I was scared he was going to do it to me again) and then I felt like trash and we ended up back together...AGAIN. (I know this is really annoying). So anyways, he said he still would be with me but then a week later (EXACTLY) he dumps me AGAIN but this time it was because my mom didn't like him because she was sick of all his rude religion talk. Anyways, I accepted the fact that it wasn't going to work out and was moving on but 2 days later we spend the day together and had a ton of fun and that night he said he wanted to fix whatever was wrong in our relationship (not having any sex life). I said I knew he'd feel guilty (religion thing) so we shouldn't, but he said he wouldnt feel guilty. Well, he begged and begged for me to give him one last chance ...and like an idiot I did, and we ended up having sex...then the next day he says "this isn't going to work" (the whole having sex thing...he felt guilty..). So we decided to be together but just as friends (AGAIN), well a day later he tells me he lost all feelings for me and doesn't love me. Last night we hung out and went to a country bar and he kpt trying to get me to dance with othr guys and even told this one guy to ask me to dance.. then i ended up going back to his apt and we ended up having sex (me and my EX) and now he's not really talking to m and doesn't really want to see me it seems.

He told me it always felt right when we were TOGETHER doing stuff but when he would drop me off at home he'd wonder why he got into a relationship with me again...gee that makes me feel great!

He promised me so much crap, and I fell for his crud everytime. I realize the relationship was not healthy for me, but it doesn't make it any less painful. I don't know what to do or what to even think right now...does anyone have any insight for me? I realize this was long and thanks if you read all the way through...

Also he always talked about how we were going to get married and he knew in his heart but then he posted this: I sometimes wonder when I will meet the one who will complete me, the one who I will spend forever with..

then I realize I already have.. 2 years ago he came and found me and hasn't left my side ever since, and he is the only one I need. The only one who can make me complete or happy."

by the way, i DID become a christian

bmarie90, welcome to the forum and I'm sorry for your pain.

I think your only question was in the subject.

What do I do about this, I hurt.

Unless you leave this guy, you're going to have a life of hurt.

This fellow cannot think for himself, not to mention, he's a little out there!!!

Not to mention, he's not treating you very well ... is he.

It sound's like you've offered this fellow more patience than anyone deserves.

You've tried your best, but this isn't getting any better.

You should break contact, and start worrying about you.

Honestly, re-read your post. Is this what you want?

Good luck, use the forum.

There are lots of very nice people on here.

OSP

Sounds like he needs to be left to his own devices to figure it out that the 'perfect' person doesn't exist.

He is either looking for someone that meets every requirement he has or he is waiting for a 'sign' to indicate a person is the "ONE" for him. He has to come to the realization that NO ONE can complete him. He has to find happiness and fulfillment in life, on his own.....the only person in life that you can truly truly count on is yourself.

My advice, should you choose to take it, would be to leave him to figure it out vs. torture yourself waiting for him to get there - who knows how long that will take. While he chose to take his pastor's advice (I wonder if the pastor really told him what to do or if he paraphrased it to you in a way that would make it sound that way) - the bottom line is that each of us chose our own decisions and paths in life. People in our lives will offer advice or their perspective either invited or uninvited. However, it is each of us that choose to take the advice or ignore it. We have to make decisions for ourselves. Because you desire to still be in a relationship and are in direct conflict with his decision not to be, he is LEAST likely to be influenced by you. He has to learn from his own experiences to confirm or change his conclusions.

From my own personal experiences, the best that you can do for yourself is to get to a place where you can accept the relationship is over. You need to work on healing from the shock of this loss. As with all of us, there are always lessons to be learned from relationships that didn't pan out. Once you are on your way to healing from the breakup the lessons will start to reveal themselves to you. You may learn more about yourself, more about what you want in a partner and what you can accept and what you simply cannot. While the journey one takes when healing from a breakup is not pleasant, it does have it's benefits. One of the biggest benefits is that you will have clarity to do what is best for you if he ever returns and asks to reconcile. The ball is in your court at that point and you can make the best decision without emotional influence. You are no longer focused on his desire and best interests. Healing allows you to correct that where you are making a decision based on what you desire and what is in your best interests. As it should be.

It is tough. I don't envy where you are at. But, you will be stronger as a result of this experience.

I'm not sure why I'm having such a hard time letting go of him, most of our relationship was me worrying about when the next time he was going to dump me. But I just keep remembering all the fun times and keep forgetting the bad. I also feel as if our whole relationship was one big lie since out of nowhere his feelings for me diminished and it went from us being inseparable to me hardly seeing him...it hurts.