A scare

Hi everybody. Okay, where should I start...

Three years ago I was in a abusive relationship. I would get beaten up, threatened with death and my ex was very controlling over who I would talk to and what I would do on a day to day basis. I existed just to serve them and please them and somehow found the light and my way out of the relationship after two years of being with them. All of this happened when I was 16 through to 18 and ever since then I have been very cautious of who I date in fear that something similar would happen again.

I have been with a guy now for about four months. He has a yelling / temper problem which scares me sometimes because I hate being yelled at and hate loud noises. I freak out a lot when I'm around screaming and go into self defense mode. Last Friday, I was with him in my car coming home from a night club. I asked him a question that he didn't like, and out of nowhere he broke my car really hard in the middle of the street. I should add that he did not drink that night, nor did he take any drugs. He was completely sober, but he changed. He started screaming at me for having one extra drink when he told me not to drink any more and that I am selfish because I wouldn't sleep at his house one night last week since I had work the next day. He then started driving erratically around the street, until I told him to stop and get out of the car. I got into the driver's seat but he made me pull over because I wasn't sober enough to drive. He drove my car back to my house, and once we got into the garage he threw the car keys really hard in the car and slammed the car door.

What I have a problem with is that he got upset at me because I didn't do what he told me to do... and it's reminding me of some warning signs that I should have listened to with my ex. he makes me feel bad when I don't stay with him all of the time and it feels like he doesn't like me talking to my friends by myself. He gets angry at the tiniest things and will yell at me for the way I drive, or the way I walk.

Am I blowing this out of proportion?

No, dear. I think you already know the answer. Yes, you are once again with a control freak with violent tendencies. People who have been in abusive situations tend to repeatedly pick partners with those same traits.

You have a choice. You can stay and watch history repeat itself, or you can take control of your own life (instead of someone else controlling it), do yourself a huge favor, and get out while you still can.

Then ask yourself why you seem to be drawn to this type of guy. You may need to seek counseling to help answer that question. A lot of time, low self-esteem is involved. You need to realize that you can do much better than these types of guys. You are worth more and deserve better.

Good luck and hugs,

Lisa

Leave. You don't deserve to be treated like that. True love never hurts!

Leave this crazy jerk... Being in a relationships doesn't mean you gotta live in fear.

This may sound like the wrong thing to do and people may disagree.

I feel you should give him another little while. But if it continues or progresses, by all means get out off that relationship.

If right now you cant face him when hes like this, it may be better to leave now or you may become attached to him and not want to leave.

I have saw women being in love with their partners and refusing to leave them, even though they would have black eyes and even burn marks on their face from their partner.

If you feel he is unbearable now im afraid your only options are to confront him or leave him. If you choose confrontation, please do not be in an empty area. Perhaps have someone outside in a car waiting for you. that way if he becomes violent the person present can step in.

I would give him another two weeks at the abseloute most and if he is the same or gets worse, confront him or leave him.

Best Wishes and Good Luck.

Keep me Posted

The Fairy Luv Mother

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