Being extra sensitive to the way people treat you: Exposure or avoid?

When you're extra sensitive to the way people treat you, would exposing yourself to people treating you bad as much as possible make you better?

Or would it be better all in all for your well being to just try and avoid these situations as much as possible?

I know, that it is better for my well being to avoid this crap, and I do end up gaining more self esteem and confidence, but there'll always be situations where I'm not going to be able to avoid it, so ultimately I don't know what the best thing to do would be, maybe if I exposed myself as much as possbible it would eventually not bother me at all, and my well being would be just as good as what it would be if I was avoiding it all the time? I don't know.

I'd like to either start with deleting all my youtube videos, or just make loads more of the kind which will most likely make people critisize and insult me.

There's also a message board where I get loads of tough love, nasty posts, sarcasm, and bullying which I left a couple of months ago, should I go back and go on there everyday?

There's a lot more stuff I could do or avoid too.

It depends on the person. Negative treatment can build some people up and break others down.

If you're so sensitive that you can't take insults or harsh criticism in this current frame of time then it might be best to desensitize yourself. That's life.

Some people are sensitive others are not.

It can feel to the sensitive person that they are perhaps being bullied or victimized, especially if they do not know how to become or be harder/stronger/less sensitive.

I think it takes a level of understanding from both sides, that everyone is different and such need a certain level of empathy for both sides, unfortunately it is the sensitive person who will feel it more because they are as such and cannot brush things off as easily as the less sensitive person.

I'm thinking of people who have negative parents who treated them badly as they were growing up.

I've never known anyone to benefit from it, in fact every single person seems to have issues, like low self esteem etc.

I'm also thinking about working at a place for the rest of your life where the people there treat you badly and bully you vs working somewhere where the people are nice for the rest of your life.

I really can't see it being good for the former persons well being or him ever ending up better off than the person in the latter situation, and I can see the person in the latter situation feeling more happier in life.

The exposure/avoidence thing all seems contradictory, but these things that I've just spoken about are now making me think that maybe it's just better to avoid.

I'm also thinking about working at a place for the rest of your life where the people there treat you badly and bully you vs working somewhere where the people are nice for the rest of your life.

The problem is that that's never going to happen. To think that you can go through life without ever having anyone bully you or treat you unkindly is to be completely ignorant.

To me it sounds like the latter person is being treated like a baby and will grow up without an acurate concept of the real world.

I don't think it has anything to do with exposure or avoidance. You have to live your life. Just do the things that you would normally do and if you find yourself getting upset, retreat for a bit and regroup. Also, there is a difference between people treating you badly and people giving you constructive criticism. Whenever you put something out in the world, particularly on the internet, you are opening yourself up to both negative and positive commentary. That's just life. To avoid those scenarios would be to never hear some things we need to hear. For example, what if you took the comments on youtube and used the advice to make a better video?

I would say it makes more sense to try to control your own self and sensitivity and reactions than to try to control the world around you by purposely avoiding OR seeking out difficult situations.

Something else I would add, it is usually difficult too almost impossible to understand someones tone online or email. I tend to use friendly words or openings to show my comments are meant in a friendly or constructive way, as using these greetings is how I genuinely am in real life.

Sometimes when others post it can come accross as being hard or insensitive however might not be, if these people repeatedly do this and you get to know their communication style and a bit about them and can tell that it is nasty then of course can be upsetting however sometimes people can just be a bit terse at times which too sensitive people can be hard to deal with at the time.

Yep, sadly in today's world being honest and blunt is frowned upon.

Most people would rather read a politically correct post covered with desensitized comments that in reality are misleading, rather than a harsh and bitter diatribe though the latter may do them an infinite amount more good.

The problem is that that's never going to happen. To think that you can go through life without ever having anyone bully you or treat you unkindly is to be completely ignorant.

 

To me it sounds like the latter person is being treated like a baby and will grow up without an acurate concept of the real world.

I really don't think that someone working at a place where the people are nice = he's getting babied.

Yep, sadly in today's world being honest and blunt is frowned upon.

 

Most people would rather read a politically correct post covered with desensitized comments that in reality are misleading, rather than a harsh and bitter diatribe though the latter may do them an infinite amount more good.

I don't think being critical is bad, it's the way it's delivered which can make it bad or not bad.

Yep, sadly in today's world being honest and blunt is frowned upon.

 

Most people would rather read a politically correct post covered with desensitized comments that in reality are misleading, rather than a harsh and bitter diatribe though the latter may do them an infinite amount more good.

I think this is fine sometimes to be blunt and to the point but the situation must be taken into consideration also.

If someone is say on here posting about suicide or getting over an ex then it is clear that alot of these people will be more sensitive and perhaps just need to be handled with a little bit more care so as too not make them feel any worse, as I am sure they already feel pretty glum to be posting on this forum about feeling so down or low.

Same goes for the compassion shown if someone has just died and even if working in an office most people would be sensitive and compassionate to that because of the situation.

I really don't think that someone working at a place where the people are nice = he's getting babied.

I probably took that the wrong way, or implied something which you didn't.

Same goes for the compassion shown if someone has just died and even if working in an office most people would be sensitive and compassionate to that because of the situation.

I know exactly what you mean. Family member dies and everybody gives them the special treatment for a week or so, everyone will usually go out of their way to be nice and considerate.

I tend to lean towards the opposite spectrum (partially because of my beliefs), but I never give anyone the special treatment. I prefer to be blunt, even in sensitive situations.

Think of it as the proverbial slap in the face. Not a violent, demeaning slap; more of a wake up and get over it slap. Not that I'm more right than anyone else, but sometimes it's good to see two sides to the situation.

Point taken, for some though you surely can see that they cannot "just get over it".

If it were that easy forums like this would not exist.

If it were that easy forums like this would not exist.

Sometimes the answer is obvious, people just need someone to point it out for them.

And yes, it really is that simple. It will sound harsh, but really all of the negative emotions that people feel after breaking up with a (former) loved one or losing somebody close is nothing more than selfishness.

It's not a bad thing, but the pain and suffering that all of these people are feeling is self inflicted. Granted some problems and emotions are caused by medical conditions (so we'll exclude those obviously), but that is the cold hard bottom line.

Not that it's easy to bottle up all of the posts on these forums into that one single catagory, I'm generalizing and I know it, but from viewing and browsing these threads in the past that is simply the most general thought that comes to mind.

When you're extra sensitive to the way people treat you, would exposing yourself to people treating you bad as much as possible make you better?...I'd like to either start with deleting all my youtube videos, or just make loads more of the kind which will most likely make people critisize and insult me.

 

There's also a message board where I get loads of tough love, nasty posts, sarcasm, and bullying which I left a couple of months ago, should I go back and go on there everyday?

 

There's a lot more stuff I could do or avoid too.

Your examples of abuse exist in cyberspace. If you're being hurt by the comments about your youtube or forum posts, I'd strongly suggest you step away from the computer and deal with people face-to-face, where nuance and subtlety give you a better understanding of their true meaning.

Lots of sad characters enjoy insulting people online with impunity.

Sometimes the answer is obvious, people just need someone to point it out for them.

 

And yes, it really is that simple. It will sound harsh, but really all of the negative emotions that people feel after breaking up with a (former) loved one or losing somebody close is nothing more than selfishness.

 

It's not a bad thing, but the pain and suffering that all of these people are feeling is self inflicted. Granted some problems and emotions are caused by medical conditions (so we'll exclude those obviously), but that is the cold hard bottom line.

 

Not that it's easy to bottle up all of the posts on these forums into that one single catagory, I'm generalizing and I know it, but from viewing and browsing these threads in the past that is simply the most general thought that comes to mind.

Well I disagree, pain, hurt, suffering is often from break ups, divorce, is not self inflicted in alot of instances.

No one asks to be dumped and as for selflishness, I can only think that you have never loved or been loved, been hurt by someone - which is great.

 

Lots of sad characters enjoy insulting people online with impunity.

Yes I have witnessed this.

I agree sometimes you need to step away for general forums, however if you are on a forum such as this which is aimed towards alot of topics to do with pain, hurt & feelings you cannot because you need the other 95% of the good help and comments that is received

Also for someone to suggest these feelings of hurt, pain, upset, is self inflicted and selfish is way beyond me.

The comments on Youtube are often mindless and insulting, and some forums are so nasty they can be disturbing for someone with thin skin. This forum is pretty mild.

I wonder if the OP finds better dialog IRL than online. I've had people flame me online, and I wonder how they'd seem if I were looking them in the eye.

Just a thought.

I used to get it in RL too (now I don't go out that much and try and avoid all situations where it happens), but it didn't happen in real life as much as online.

The comments on Youtube are often mindless and insulting, and some forums are so nasty they can be disturbing for someone with thin skin. This forum is pretty mild.

 

I wonder if the OP finds better dialog IRL than online. I've had people flame me online, and I wonder how they'd seem if I were looking them in the eye.

 

Just a thought.

and a very very good thought at that

I agree with Bulletproof. Just live your life. If you've ever worked retail or any type of customer service, you learn that some people are going to be jerks, and it has absolutely nothing to do with you. Once you learn that, there's no point in subjecting yourself to more of it than necessary.

That being said, I wouldn't stop making videos or doing anything else you enjoy because of what others say. Critics are a dime a dozen, because it's easier to destroy than it is to create. Their anonymous comments don't mean your work isn't good or worth seeing. It just means they have no lives. Take the best and ignore the rest!!!

Need inspiration? Look at link removed. He reportedly only sold one painting (maybe two) his entire life and yet today he's considered one of the world's most gifted and influential Expressionist artists. In 1990, his painting "The Portrait of Dr. Gachet" sold for a record 82.5 million, the seventh highest selling price ever recorded for a single painting.

Well I disagree, pain, hurt, suffering is often from break ups, divorce, is not self inflicted in alot of instances.

Sorry, but regardless of whether or not they were divorced or broke up, it is the person who continues to feel bad or sorry for themselves. It's always easier to blame the other person or the situation, but it is their choice to continue to feel the way they do.

I can only think that you have never loved or been loved, been hurt by someone - which is great.

That is an extremely naive assumption.

Sorry, but regardless of whether or not they were divorced or broke up, it is the person who continues to feel bad or sorry for themselves. It's always easier to blame the other person or the situation, but it is their choice to continue to feel the way they do.

No offence but I don't know why on earth you think this.

No one chooses to feel bad. If you feel bad you feel bad, you can't just turn the feeling off.

It IS the situation or the other person who is at fault, unless you brought it upon yourself.

And why on earth would anyone choose to feel bad anyway?

Again, I don't mean any offence but you seem to be severely out of touch with reality.