phishy_go_swim Posted September 5, 2007 Share Posted September 5, 2007 Alright I do not like the idea of My boyfriend and I having a three sum with another girl.I just could never get turned on by that and in truth watching the person who I love more than anything with another girl would break my heart and make me sick. I won't do it. But he likes the idea of being with me and another girl and I just don't get it.Especially considering that I have asked him if he would like to see another guy having sex with me and how that would make him feel and he got upset in the same manner that I have when he has presented the issue.I was just wondering if anyone knew any happy loving relationships that have been able to have Multiple parters at once and lasted. Link to comment
musicguy Posted September 5, 2007 Share Posted September 5, 2007 if you don't want to have a 3-sum, then don't do it. If he gets upset if you wanted to have a 3sum with 2 guys and you're upset if he wants a 3sum with 2 girls, then this fantasy of his isn't gonna go anywhere. Link to comment
PeanutButter Posted September 5, 2007 Share Posted September 5, 2007 haha its almost as if he wants to cheat, or hes just not pleased enough in bed that he really wants this. that sucks. everyone has their own opinions but i believe a girl giving into this has no respect for herself. the guy has no respect for his relationship or significant other. FANTASY OR NOT. you can have a three some in a not so serious relationship if its that much of a fantasy bullsh-t if theres a difference of being in love with one person. if your truly in love than you just wouldn't see another girl in the picture. you look young in your picture and gorgeous, dont give into his stupidness. for most guys i hear its a turn off for a girl to have done a three some. good luck chica!=] and i agree, if you DONT want to, dont give in. Link to comment
-Ophelia- Posted September 5, 2007 Share Posted September 5, 2007 Having a threesome is not a sign of a healthy relationship. My honest opinion is that since these are your views on threesomes, then you don't need a man who is being disrespectful to you by vocing these fantasies and actually asking you to act upon them. I agree with peanutbutter, asking for a threesome is like asking for permission to cheat. Because who knows, one day you might walk in on them fooling around and his defense will be "babe, you told me I can do it!" You know how to tell right from wrong, and for your own sanity, reevaluate the relationship. Link to comment
tylercdurden2004 Posted September 5, 2007 Share Posted September 5, 2007 If you dont want to then dont. Some couple try to incorprate this into their regular sex life it rarely leads to a healthy long term monogamous relationship. Its something you really have to want and even then its not always what you expect. Using probability: You're not that interested in it. Even if you were its 50/50 at best that it works out. you definitely have less than 50% chance of pulling this off. Probably around 10% or less as an uneducated guess. Link to comment
fmjosie Posted September 5, 2007 Share Posted September 5, 2007 Yup, you gave your thoughts on the idea, so he should drop it. Tell him if your view on the subject ever change, you will let him know.... but don't hold his breath. If you're not into girls, or don't think you would benefit from having one in the bedroom, then there's no point in having a threesome. to be honest though, the chances of you or him ever even finding a girl to join you is slim to none. I personally don't have a problem with threesomes, FFM only. It's a double standard that makes sense to me. Link to comment
agent1607307371 Posted September 5, 2007 Share Posted September 5, 2007 I was just wondering if anyone knew any happy loving relationships that have been able to have Multiple parters at once and lasted. Yes. But the important factor in them was that all the people involved were into that kind of thing to begin with and weren't doing something to please their partner that made them upset, uncomfortable or unsecure in the relationship. Link to comment
russ978 Posted September 5, 2007 Share Posted September 5, 2007 If you dont want to then dont. Some couple try to incorprate this into their regular sex life it rarely leads to a healthy long term monogamous relationship. Tyler has this one on the money. If he isn't down with the 2 guys threesome, draw the analogy that you feel the same way about the threesome with two girls. If he still pushes it, just tell him that it isn't something that is going to happen and tell him why you feel it shouldn't (it makes you feel like you don't satisfy him, it makes you feel like you aren't enough, it would make you worry that he wanted to sleep with other women all the time, etc...) I'm sure that he'll have all sorts of excuses about how he loves you and just wants 'the experience' and 'only wants you' but don't fall for it. Just stick to your guns and it will likely be a conversation where you'd have to say the same thing 20+times. Sure, it is the typical male (and many females) fantasy but this is one that is best left as a fantasy in my opinion. Some relationships can hold up under it but I haven't heard of many threesome experiences improving a relationship's strength, trust, of faithfullness. Don't do it if you value your relationship. Link to comment
musicguy Posted September 5, 2007 Share Posted September 5, 2007 3somes are usually a no strings attached kinda thing, unless there are no attached feelings between both partners than it's fine, but usually they end up breaking up a long term relationship and usually one gets hurt, at times it's the girlfriend who ends up getting hurt Link to comment
ghost69 Posted September 5, 2007 Share Posted September 5, 2007 he is getting to sleep with another girl and your disposal. not good if you aren't comfortable with it. would i have one? yes of course i would. almost did a couple of times actually. but i would not have one with a girl i was in a relationship with. Link to comment
phishy_go_swim Posted September 6, 2007 Author Share Posted September 6, 2007 I am kind of Bisexual and his stupid brother who is older but certaintly not wiser had said to him on occasion being with a Bisexual girl is awesome cause you get two girls at once...like me being bisexual automantically means I want two people. Link to comment
musicguy Posted September 6, 2007 Share Posted September 6, 2007 I am kind of Bisexual and his stupid brother who is older but certaintly not wiser had said to him on occasion being with a Bisexual girl is awesome cause you get two girls at once...like me being bisexual automantically means I want two people. well, his brother is stupid. I've dated a number of bi-girls and I was never like "ohh yeah she's bi, I wanna have a 3sum with her." You do what you feel is comfortable for you Link to comment
ghost69 Posted September 6, 2007 Share Posted September 6, 2007 sounds more like you are worried what his brother tells him rather than what he will do. sure he likes the idea. almost every guy i think has this fantasy. if he cares about you enough, he will do what you want to do and take it. whatever you are comfortable with. Link to comment
beauty21 Posted September 6, 2007 Share Posted September 6, 2007 Nope, only polygamists. But me and my ex did a three sum and I can tell you do not do it, if you are not comfortable with the idea. And do not do it, just because he is pressuring the idea. Me, I got mad in the middle of it and told them both to get up and for her to get out. After that, me and my boyfriend would argue over this because I was so angry that he pushed, and pushed and I had the mental images in my head of the two of them. I zoned out alot and it made me sick to my stomach. I wish I never did that. And if I could change anything about it, I would have just had sex with her and told him to get lost for the night. Link to comment
DMANUWANT Posted October 30, 2009 Share Posted October 30, 2009 It just so happens that she is Bi, and I am straight, so we both like girls. The sight of me have sex with another girl turns her on and makes her want me more. She too gets to experience the other girl. This works best if you have 2 bi-girls involved. It just so happens that my girl is commited to me and only wants to be with one man, but she likes girls and ideally wants to find one for us to be in a LTR with, but for me the search for that one is pretty enjoyable. Link to comment
ycmanvs Posted October 30, 2009 Share Posted October 30, 2009 It just so happens that she is Bi, and I am straight, so we both like girls. The sight of me have sex with another girl turns her on and makes her want me more. She too gets to experience the other girl. This works best if you have 2 bi-girls involved. It just so happens that my girl is commited to me and only wants to be with one man, but she likes girls and ideally wants to find one for us to be in a LTR with, but for me the search for that one is pretty enjoyable. I agree. I am bi and my bf is exremely turned on when I am with another woman. He can join us, but he does not have to. I have gotten a lot of negative feedback here for my lifestyle, but we are both so much happier than most of the posters who do not accept this. Link to comment
piggypodge Posted April 6, 2010 Share Posted April 6, 2010 personally, i dont think its that bad of an idea .. as long as your both sure. and tbh i dont think you are.. me and my boyfriend are talking about having one and ill let you know weather id recommend it once its happened lol Link to comment
newwave Posted April 7, 2010 Share Posted April 7, 2010 If it was a guy I was dating casual and had no feelings I could see this happening. Otherwise, no. Too many hurt feelings. I am a monogamous person and expect the guy to be as well. Link to comment
rosy2000 Posted April 7, 2010 Share Posted April 7, 2010 A tree sum will only work if the two of you are equally interested. If you are no sure don't do it because it is only going to harm your relationship. Know that most men have that fantasy and think that if you satisfy this one, he will create another one and so on....It happened to me. Good luck! Link to comment
tough lov Posted April 23, 2010 Share Posted April 23, 2010 my boyfriend whom iv been dating for about 1 year and 1/2 now asked me last night if i would like to have a 3 some with him. im currently 6 months pregnant now with his child. it seems as if he is just never satisfied with what i have to offer he always wants more, i find myself a very sexual human and im up to about just anything my man wants in bed. iv done a lot of things with him but im not at all up to the 3 some, i feel like thats away of him giving me a hint that he wants to have sex with another women and me not being mad about it. just before i got pregnant me and him had broken up because he went behind my back and tried to have sex with my best friend. lucky for me she was a great friend and told me right after he went to her house begging. we broke up and his whole world crashed to the ground and he realized how much he really loves and cares for me. i found out i was pregnant so i thought id give him a second chance. it has taken me 6 months to start giving him a lil trust again and than when he asked me last night for the 3 some even though its just a fantasy but it scares me that he even thinks this way when were happy together, and have a child on the way. anyone please reply and give me your opinion if i should be worried about it or not. (keep in mind were like head over heals for each other and we hardly ever fight.) Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.