And he's abusive...a textbook case. They all follow the same pattern. You need to walk away from this before your name hits the newspaper. You can't change him, it is what it is therefore don't feel that you're the exception to the rule...you're not.
I'm not sure what you are trying to tackle. It doesn't appear she's trying to act superior, etc, towards you.
In short, rather than seeing this as a problem, focus on her good points, and show her you're proud of her.
Because you purposely set it up that way, hoping you'd get a response by leaving a door open.
You're well aware of what you're doing, and the only person you're fooling is yourself.
If you truly want to end this you know what to do, and how to do it.
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I'll be the odd one out and view this in a different light. These situations rarely go as planned, or end without a hitch.
His parents and sister are having their privacy invaded in a way that's difficult to see and understand. I'm sure she's a nice girl, but that's not the point here.
Why are they not living together? If they can't swing it,, they need to wait until they're able to. JMO...
Fool me once, shame on you-- Fool me twice, shame on me. Don't wait around for a third round which would give him the opportunity to pull this again, minus the consequence as before..