aquatic

I think I'm still in the process of accepting I might be attracted to women. As of now, I'm not that sure if it's necessarily a sexual attraction (as opposed to an aural attraction? does tht make sense to you?), but at the most, I would probably be bi and not a lesbian. It is quite funny how when I was younger, to even consider being gay was so taboo. We'd tease my cousin who we suspected might be gay, and basically anything gay was strange. But now, imagining myself finding a perfect partner (who might happen to be a woman) doesn't seem so complicated or abnormal. I don't know if I'm just simplifying it because I haven't actually fallen in love with a woman yet. Maybe it's (relatively) not so life changing for me as it is for you because I never went through the wedding/children's names phase. Maybe it's because I never had an idyllic view of marriage. I mean, if I find the perfect man, great, but if not, okay. I just wanted to find what would make me happy or make life meaningful. I was and am overcontemplative that way. Probably the question I ask myself is, since I know I can commit to both man and woman, would I be tempted to choose a man just to not complicate life and be content with whatever level of happiness that affords me. Will see what I get there, I suppose...

Well, it could be just the challenge. Mild infatuation. I remember going to this seminar kind of series because of this person, a total (kinda nerdy!) stranger, but after while when I'd see her around, I'd go 'Meh, what was I thinking?' LOL. Re your signals, lol. Yes, I think you have it worse than I do. I can hold a friendly mode with her if we're acquainted enough already. Hm, if she were interested, yes, you are sending really confusing signals. Now that you painted a clearer pic about the emailing, that you have emailed back and forth, I think I'm leaning more towards her not being interested in that way, sorry to burst your bubble, because she would've taken that chance to be more personal. Move on, next TA but keep her on your mailing list and hope against all odds she might be interested, nothing to lose.

I say, get your stuff back without drama then stay away from both of them- don't even contact the guy to "let him know what's happened". It's not your place. This girl is playing you. If she wants something serious with you, she'll get her affairs in order first and she knows it (well, you've to tell her if she's dense or acting dense just to make clear where you both stand). You may really love her, but if she's playing you, you're better off without her.

I agree with those who said you should first KNOW what you want-- why are you pondering about all these and feel the pressure to label your friendship? Is it because you really want a relationship with her? Dont mind so much what others will think if you finally realize and admit to yourself you are bisexual and can work out a relationship with her because you two can keep it between yourselves if needed. Just focus on you two. Because if it's just for the sake of clarity, are we friends or more, it's just an issue of confusion-- I don't think you should feel too pressured to have everything in black and white asap, enjoy and let it take its course. But if you DO want a relationship with her, sort yourself out first, then talk to her. You can probably start by opening up about your self-realization, that you may be bi. You don't have to be confronting about your relationship with her--because it's either she'll back off or close off in overreaction. Test the waters. See first how she reacts to the issue of you being attracted to another female. Besides, regradless if she's into you, being your bestfriend, she will eventually have to deal with this side of you. Better to know now if she's the kind of friend who can accept that. Just don't overwhlem her with your feelings. Let her in on it a little at a time. Good luck

LOL. I can SO relate with what you're saying. I also act strangely weird when around certain women (which was one of my clues that I might be bisexual. It feels like a switch turning off, cold turkey, from a happy chatty mode to broody aloof ignoring mode when dealing with her, then immeidately back to chatty mode with the person next to her. Immature indeed. Just to regret why I was being mean to her hours after the encounter. LMAO Regarding your problem: I agree with the email thing, it makes communicating lesss stressful Topic of the email though-- it would be awkward if it's an I Like You confessional out of the blue. And embarrasing if she were straight, just without taste in shoes I suggest you try to establish a Friends foundation first. Since your relationship is being a TA-student, maybe you can email her for advice or input about being a TA (casually say it's something that might interest you to do after school or something). Email her about something professional but would require something a bit personal at the same time. Then from her reply, you can build on the friendly personal chat. Or include her in your cc/announcement/mailing list (invite to a party, selling something, looking for somehting), then see if she eventaully replies to ask why she's included, then you can act kind of surprised and say you just sent the message to your entire address book, then start a friendly chat from there, like how she's been or what's she up to now. Is this helping at all? Or it just shows how my gay style sucks? LOL.