Hi, Everyone. This is my first post and I was hoping for some advice/ positive feedback. So my and my Ex broke up 5 days ago. As you might expect, from it being both our first mature relationship (both 19 and in college and it lasted 13 months) we were both very emotional. As you might expect I begged her to change her mind that day and the next.
Before our spring break she came and sat next to me in class and after class I told her that I wanted her to think hard about her decision and about the possibility of losing me in her life and whether she would truly be happy if I was with someone else. Her exact wording for the break up was she "needed a break and wanted to like/ be with other people." She said she didn't love me anymore and thought of me as a friend and needed time to think about her emotions. I agreed to being friends (although I am initiating no contact). We were each others first and I she says she still cares for me and I obviously care for her.
So I was planning on doing no contact for 3-4 weeks and then sending her a letter saying i'm sorry (I didn't take care of myself and I feel like she lost attraction for me along with me not prioritizing her enough and spending quality time together (we spent most of our time together sleeping or studying)) and our relationship was flawed and I was working on self improvement. I was wondering whether to send it with flowers (she loves flowers). I am actually working on myself by changing the way I dress to be much better (I got to the point of sweat pants and a T-shirt everyday) and I have begun working out again (I was a very fit athlete when we met).
I was wondering when you thought I should try and talk to her about our former relationship and how to go about telling her about no contact and what the best way to re-establish contact with her. Please keep in mind that we only have 8 weeks of school left and she lives 6 hours away from me. I was also hoping someone could tell me how to get over her as she is the first person I have ever loved this way. If I got over her and wanted to get back together I was thinking I'd either meet her over summer at my cabin (lots of good memories) or wait til school started again to try and re-kindle the flame (if I felt that was still obviously). I think she isnt sure of whats out there and wants to try it or she has met someone she kinda likes and want to try it out (our last month was very ty and I wasnt happy either so I kinda understand although I wish we had talked about it).
Any advice would be appreciated, and I know there is a chance that she will never want me back, but I know we have had momentous impacts on each others lives and she cares deeply for me. Please note that we spent every day together and she probably got bored near the end (as did I, because of school stress) so we have a very close bond. And one last question: what does it mean that even a week before she broke up with me, she was saying she loved me (faking maybe) but we weren't very intimate. Sorry this is so long but I really care for her and am in post break-up panic mode. Highlighting questions.