Alone Together: Strengthening Every Fortress When Fear Sets In

In times of distress, it’s natural to feel on edge. Anxiety can creep into even the most stable of relationships, and when things become too overwhelming, it’s easy to react with a flight response - our first instinct is often to back away from the situation. But a strong relationship is one that withstands adversity, and stands stronger under pressure. To keep both partners safe, sensible, and secure during times of stress, here are some strategies for dealing with a partner's flight response.

Above all else, it’s essential to remain sensitive and understanding of your partner’s feelings in order to make it through such challenging times. Even though you may feel stressed yourself, making sure that neither partner feels imposed upon or forced to take on more than is bearable is of utmost importance - try to pay attention to each other's triggers, pacing and temperaments in order to stay connected with empathy and honesty.

Communication is absolutely paramount in maintaining a strong relationship, particularly during times of heightened anxiety. Discuss what you’re feeling and make sure that your partner is heard and acknowledged - offering a helping hand and thoughtful conversation are key remedies to soothing a partner who tends to respond to stress and fear with flight.

Having a few safeguards and outlets available can also help to ease the pressure - setting up support networks, talking through what’s going on, and relying on external solutions, like therapy, can provide a buffer against flight and eventually lead to a good night’s sleep for everyone. Hugs and cuddles are especially beneficial in calming an anxious mind, as human touch is a powerful way to show love and compassion.

When life throws its curveballs, surrounding ourselves and our partners with reminders of the good can be a bolster against fear. For example, display photographs of friends, family and happy memories around the home, and spend special, quality moments together every day - pop out for coffees and strolls on weekends, sing songs at the top of your lungs, share a happy moment by the sea... Focus on the parts of your lives that feel full of joy, peace and contentment. Doing so may hold off the temptation to turn towards flight and instead focus on the positivity and security of the relationship.

Of course, all of this needs to be done with respect. Don't pressure each other or view any defensive responses as wrong - it can take time to get used to life’s unexpected bursts of fear and dizzying uncertainty. Having a listening ear who can journey with us along the winding road of fear and stress is essential to returning to a calmer place.

Building a fortress of trust around you, your partner and your relationship is essential for protecting yourselves during times of distress. Showing patience, understanding and care creates a cocoon of warmth and love that’s bolstered by communication and good support. With time and understanding, a relationship can become much tougher and stand defiant in the face of any fear or anxiety.