Arranged Marriages: How Families and Society Mirror Our Choices

Organized relationships or organized marriages have been around since ancient times. They have been a staple of many cultures in Europe, Asia, and the Middle East but are now considered archaic in much of the Western world. However, while they have seemingly faded away in most places, they remain incredibly popular elsewhere. In recent years, there has even been a noticeable upswing in the number of arranged marriages occurring in the United States thanks to shifting attitudes amongst the immigrant population coming from parts of the globe where the practice of arranged marriage is still commonly practiced.

While there is no single set definition of what an arranged marriage looks like, it generally means that two people are matched together by someone else - usually a family member. This decision maker acts on behalf of both sets of parents and may use criteria such as religion, upbringing, financial/social standing, education level, health status, etc., to determine the best pair for the two would-be spouses. The parents may also research information on the candidates' families to make sure that the two sets of parents and grandparents come from respected backgrounds. Sometimes the arrangement will be made before either spouse is born (this is called betrothal) and others are put together at any point thereafter. Oftentimes these particular arrangements are seen as beneficial because they take pressure off of proponents solely relying on love to determine if a couple is right for one another.

In terms of motivations driving these types of marriages most often it is done to secure an alliance between two families or to increase social status within certain communities. Quite frequently economic reasons are behind these decisions as well due to the familial wealth being combined after two people wed. Furthermore accepted custom often dictates how such matches are reached. Social structure is particularly important amongst certain groups thus making arranged marriages more normalized because it helps to maintain a certain group dynamic and familial lineages. These setups also reduce the amount of upheaval that occurs when an individual changes partners due to expectations placed upon everyone by the joint family.

In contrast there are quite a few drawbacks to taking this route as well. Since love or compatibility isn't necessarily the major stipulation in forming a union these unions have dissolvable rates varying between 35%-50%. In addition to this physical or emotional abuse can be more common than other couples since escape is nearly impossible without a drastic move breaking tradition and upsetting family dynamics. Civil unrest also plays large part in regions where arranged marriages are especially common as its a way to keep traditions going while women often have reduced autonomy hindering their ability to pursue their own interests and make their own decisions.

It ultimately comes down to understanding that there are two sides to the coin when it comes to understanding the concept of arranged marriages. While unifying families and fulfilling cultural obligations represent pros there are likewise downsides like higher divorce rates and lack of autonomy that should be taken into consideration as well. It isn't always as simple as "happily ever after" for these couples so much as something in between requiring give and take on both ends, with both sides hoping for inner peace in the end. Even with all the ups and downs though just like anything else, arranged marriages should be looked at on case-by-case basis bearing respect in mind for the those deciding and sacrificing their own happiness for generations of prosperity.