I need help to make some sense out of this

I was with my boyfriend for two years we did everything together. He is 11 years older than me and when we met I knew he had an alcohol problem. He just really acted like I was going to be the one to change him and he wanted a different life with me. He really controlled his drinking in the beginning but he started to get worse and worse and everytime he got drunk he apologized told me what an idiot he was and that he would change. I had him to the point where he could only drink 3 nights a week the other 4 he spent with me being sober. He seemed like he was happy we cooked we watched tv he said he liked the routine of how we were. One night we were going grocery shopping cooking dinner just like everything was completely normal he wasn't acting any different. The next day he texts me right in the middle of the day saying he needed to be himself for a while to clear out his head. He said I was the most amazing person in his life and he hated himself for doing that. Deep down I know I'm better off I just don't understand what is his way of thinking is he really choosing alcohol over me. I did somewhat flip out on him but I was so angry I took all this time out of my life to try and help him out I basically supported him so he could work on getting better while I was going to work and school. Do I have a right to be angry? Should I be sad? I don't even know how to feel it was just so shocking to me I don't even understand what happened or why it happened?

Yes. he did choose the alcohol over you.

You do not have a right to be mad. You went into this relationship knowing he was an alcoholic, and condoned it. Addicts are not stable, and will choose their addiction over you.

I would suggest that you be more selective the next time you're considering a partner.

Are you saying you supported this guy financially?

I’m sorry to hear of your situation. In general people do not change, so don’t think you can change them. I’m so tired of girls thinking they can change guys. If someone does change, it’s not going to be over night, it’s going to take years. Your boyfriend is better off being with an alcoholic looser like himself. You have a right to be angry, but don’t be sad. You would be better off with someone different.

Leave him..

Look into codependency

I completely supported him financially and emotionally I did everything for him but we were supposed to be a team and he was going to get his life together eventually. I just wanted to be the person who was always there for him because he told me I didn't love him unconditionally.

He is an alcoholic. The only thing he will ever love unconditionallly and that will love him the same way is alcohol. Alcoholics are master manipulators. Be happy you are free.

I completely supported him financially and emotionally I did everything for him but we were supposed to be a team and he was going to get his life together eventually. I just wanted to be the person who was always there for him because he told me I didn't love him unconditionally.

First of all you only love children unconditionally. If he killed your parents, would you still love him. Don't think so.

Good grief. Why would you support this guy this guy financially? How is he getting himself together if he is still drinking? You totally enabled him.

You need to skip the fixer uppers and look for someone who is not an addict and emotionally needy. You can't change him!

Next, you need to understand why in the world you got involved in this situation. Seek a counselor that specializes in codependency and understand your own issues.

First of all you only love children unconditionally. If he killed your parents, would you still love him. Don't think so.

 

Good grief. Why would you support this guy this guy financially? How is he getting himself together if he is still drinking? You totally enabled him.

 

You need to skip the fixer uppers and look for someone who is not an addict and emotionally needy. You can't change him!

 

Next, you need to understand why in the world you got involved in this situation. Seek a counselor that specializes in codependency and understand your own issues.

I don't know why I did that but I know I will never do it again. I had so much doubt in my head the whole time sometimes you just need some distance and to hear what others say to put things into perspective. I've spent a long time being unhappy but I'm still young and have my whole life ahead of me. I'm about to graduate nursing school in 3 weeks he didn't stop me from improving my own life. Sometimes I just need to hear these things for reassurance and I like when people are bluntly honest it actually helps me out a lot. Thank you.

You're on a good path. Learn from this and grow!

I was serious, please look into co dependent behavior to understand your choices.