In need of help after break up.

I will try to make this short so that I dont bore anyone. I knew this person for about a year and we were both in relationships at the time. We both broke up randomly at the same time and completely coincidentally started talking when I was out of the country in the summer and as crazy as it sounds we clicked and kept talking for a whole month. We bonded, we shared, we laughed and couldnt wait to meet again. When we did we fell in love HARD, it was the most intense feelings we ever experienced and we knew it was love. Both of us were unhappy in our previous relationships and finally heaven! This man has a child from his previous relationship and was always in a lot of pain for not seeing her as often as he used to since he moved out. We made plans to live together and get married and have children of our own. We both knew how much we loved eachother and spent everyday together for three months.

I have absolutely no doubt of the amount of care and genuine love he gave me. All came crushing when he couldnt handle being away from his daughter. He would be with her and miss me and be with me and miss her. Eventually I gathered all my strength and told him that the door is and always has been open, he can go. He said he cant leave me the one time he finally found love etc. It was a very hard separation which he decided to leave on impulse saying he cant stand seeing his daughter cry everytime they separate and that if he didnt do it now he would never do it. He cried and said he will never get over this but atleast his daughter will not have to go through the trauma of not having him like he never had his parents. I am devastated and cannot comprehend that he left.

My days are going by with me literally doing nothing, I can not accept and believe that he left. I do not know what to do literally I am a mess of emotion. I have not attempted to contact him and will not. It breaks my heart that he is in that house he used to live with his ex partner who I know he doesnt want and never really loved. He says he hopes she will see how much he doesnt love her and give him the child which of course will not happen. I am lost. I have never been in love like this and we really felt that we were made for eachother and wanted to have our forever. When will I ever accept that this has happened?????? I keep thinking he will change his mind or that this has not really happened because my mind cant comprehend it. please help me

He was between a rock and a hard place. He chose his daughter...as he should.

I am a bit confused. why can't he have both? does he share custody with his ex? is he now living with her in order to be around his daughter 24/7?

maybe i did not read the story correctly but if you both live in the same town, why cant you guys create a home and have her live with you guys half the time?

Hi Plainsnymph thank you for replying. I had suggested that but when he was already halfway gone. He said he wants to give his daughter a mother father family setting and he couldnt handle the idea that his daughter would eventually have a new "dad". He has already moved back to the town he used to live so he can be with his daughter 24/7. Since she was born he was the one taking care of her when his ex was at work and would always have her with him at his work and he couldnt handle the separation. What is so painful is that this came as such a shock I don't think my brain can handle and realise that this is happening.

Hi Mhowe,

thats why I told him to go but it really doesnt make it easier.

I understand that ---- and clearly, he isn't over his baby mama, because if he were, he would co-parent but not live in the same house.

When it comes to children and baby mamas the person will always pick them over anyone. Sadly this happened to you but I see it alot with my friends your best bet is to move on.