Why would he treat me like some toy? I feel so humiliated!

We will be sitting at the computer together and he will have his hands wrapped around me and rubbing my vaginal area. (but he does it wayyyy higher than the "right" spot) and when i sit on his lap, he's always rubbing my butt, or his arm down my butt and fingers rubbing my vagina. When we are just laying down facing eachother and my legs are wrapped around his waist, he rubs my butt and grabs it and massages it for hours. (all of this is done fully clothed)

and when we make out, he grabs my butt but doesnt ever touch my boobs.

why is he like so obsessed with my butt?

a friend in his class said "oh you guys spend an awful lot of time together. and u are in a lot of facebook pictures" and he replied "yeah i kinda like her"

but he hasnt asked me out yet....

Is it bad that i let him do this to me if we arent in relationship? We arent young, we are 18 and a half and in college. I like when he touches me like this, because i have feelings for him. And hes such a nice, sweet guy. We spend all our time together, in a group or alone, and he stays in bed with me everynight til i fall asleep, or he will fall asleep too, just holding me. Hes NOT using me for sex or anything. We were very close friends first, joined at the hip. this attraction just came to be....

we havent had sex yet..

But yeah, is he touching me too much? For someone who hasnt even asked me out yet?

also i told him i have feelings for him...ive said this three times and he said "me too" (ive said it after like a week of him touching me like this) he still touches me like this but hasnt asked me out. But after he says "me too" he doesnt say anything else, but just continues to touch me.

I mean, when we are in public he obviously doesnt touch me this way. He barely touches me at all. Sometimes he has his arm around me and stuff, but thats if we are sitting down. He doesnt see me as purely sexual. Because we truly are FRIENDS we became like best friends and tell eachother everything. its just this stuff, we just dont tlak about it. I try to, like i said, but i get nowhere

I mean, the thing is we DO act like a couple. He does a lot of things for me and goes out of his way. He puts me first. He offers to take care of me when im sick, he helps me with errands, goes out late at night to pick me up from somewhere, carries my things all the time, etc.....but it would be nice for him to actually have me go on a date with him. as a couple. not as "buddies"

and its not like he only touches my butt, he massages my feet too and rubs my back and tickles me, so its not like he is just thinking of banging me...

(Okay the above, was everything until i came to a boil and was getting angry. he was acting all weird and secretive and moody, and he wasnt being as nice anymore. so i had enough....)

So on facebook chat last night (yeah, bad i know, but i had no other choice. he WOULD not give me an answer) i said it was getting too awkward and we need to talk about it. and he said he was afraid to talk about this stuff cuz he wasnt sure how he should feel about me yet. he was like "im just not sure u are a genuine nice girl. i mean u are to me, but im not getting the vibe you are to anyone else. and i wanna have feelings for a genuine nice girl" and i said "i am a nice girl but you can think what you want of me" and he said "i wanna feel that way, i just cant" then he said we had nothing in common. (none of this crap is true! he must be delusional!) then he was like saying how he kept trying to figure out if he had feelings for me or not. (he did tell me he did have them tho) but apparently he felt "not sure" for a while, but was "afraid" to tell me. well he certainly wasnt AFRAID to kiss me etc....I asked him why he kissed me and he said "cuz i wanted to see if i did have feelings for you. but even after i still wasnt sure. so i kept on trying to figure out if i did. i dont know why i didnt tell you before. i was just afraid to i guess"

he also was like "im afraid you dont accept me for who i am or the things i enjoy. i guess i dont understand why you have feelings for me" and i say "why wouldnt i accept you? of course i accept you" and he goes "im sorry okay? ur the first one to actually like me back like that. girls i talk to become best friends with me but do not like me in this way"

so i told him "this was a mistake" and he goes "yea? elaborate." so he doesnt even think it was a mistake basically! unbelievable... and i said "well i wish you told me this before we both felt something. i just didnt want either of us to get hurt." and he goes "ur hurt?" i dont respond... then he was saying how we could still be really good friends and it wouldnt be a problem for him. he was like "ive been just friends with girls ive liked my whole life, this isnt news to me". and he was like "its only gonna be bad if you think it will be" and "if so, what are you gonna do about it?"

Why did he touch me like this if he's NOT SURE?!!!!!!!!!! (i dont think hes really dated before either,...)

i feel like ive been completely dissed by him. i trusted him. i feel like ive been ripped apart, because i was so emotionally attached to him.

HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO REACT TO THIS??! I TRUSTED HIM! Hows that supposed to make me feel?? Why does he all the sudden make me feel like * * * * ? he was supposed to be the sweet, sensitivve nice guy who had respect for women. Very unassuming. hes not a player. he is a geeky computer guy who i thought had a real heart...

i guess i was wrong

he was my best friend here at college too.....

Wow this guy sounds like a total arse. I would run like the wind if I were you. Telling you he isn't sure if you're a nice girl or not? Lord. Trust me. Run.

(i dont think hes really dated before either,...)

Yes, everything you wrote screams that he's inexperienced and afraid. I think that is a safe bet.

Rejection is something that most people avoid. My impression is that he does like you, quite a bit probably thus leaving himself even more vulnerable for you to go and cheat on him or break his heart in some other way, which was the gist of him telling you that you aren't "genuine".

He's just afraid of the entire situation most likely. People fear the unknown and the relationship you have with him falls squarely in the "unknown" territory for him. He said himself that girls haven't given him any attention like this before. He probably doesn't know what to do, or how to act. He's just going off what people told him and to not date women who aren't "genuine", so he's using that as an excuse to get out. Not because you really aren't "genuine" but because he doesn't know whether to * * * * or go blind.

I wouldn't take this too personally, this just seems to me like someone who has extremely low self-confidence and isn't ready for a relationship. He probably is attracted to you. I'm willing to bet on it.

I don't think you should act on this...when things are new people need time to process them. Remember the first time you dated, how everything was "unique" and sometimes scary? Like...."Am I doing this right???". That's how he feels I think. Sometimes when an animal feels cornered they'll lash out and do whatever they can to get out of it. I think his comments were just that.

i still have feelings for him....i try to deny it, but its not worth denying. ive never felt like this before with anyone. should i talk to him? should i tell him im here for him and that i do care about him and that its okay to be scared?

This is a lesson that you should not allow someone who is not your boyfriend touch you in a sexual way because there are men and women who just want no strings attached sexual fun. This guy doesn't want a relationship, he just wanted to experiment with sexual interactions. He doesn't sound like a great friend.

Listen, hopeful. Not to get all up in your business, but you are here for help, right? You are going to get NO WHERE continuing to ask more strangers why he did and said the things he did. We can't tell you how he felt. To give you an answer from everything you have wrote about your situation, it sounds like he didn't feel the same as you did. But again, i am not a mind reader. You are driving yourself crazy and OBSESSING over him when all you have to do is talk to him. Be a woman. Stop driving yourself crazy over young boy and go talk to him if it bothers you that much.

Why did he touch you and all that? because thats what people do. People do that with other people and they may end up liking them or not liking them. I'm sorry you trusted him and now feel hurt and humiliated. It's something all of us feel at some point in life. I have, you have, and everyone else will. There are not always black and white answers to people's actions, ESPECIALLY when they are young and inexperienced. My words to you, from personal experience, is that if you like the boy that damn much and think he's worth it, go f-ing talk to him and stop complicating this. think about how unattractive you would seem to him if he found out how much you are obsessing over every action he made with you. Sorry if that sounds harsh, but its true. If you want to be someone he wants, start acting like it and stop being a victim.

i'm almost ready to call this guy up FOR you.

i know i know i know. and a mutual friend keeps asking me about it and wondering if i talked to him yet. right now thats just not gonna happen. i think me talking to him will really piss him off and make him angry. so im just gonna let it go......its not worth it... im just gonna have to get over it.

He sounds like a jerk. No loss, believe me.

now ive finally realized what a complete jerk he is. i will never give him the benefit of the doubt again, nor make excuses for him. hes an idiot and deserves to be ignored by me. i never want to speak to him again....

today i was still debating whether or not to talk to him. but the problem is, he is SUCH A CHILD! i was getting stuff in the cafeteria in our building tonight. so when i was done i went to the elevator. I walked up to it, and i actually didnt know it was him at first, but my ex and his friend were right in the elevator and were about to get out. I walked into it at the same time he got out, and he was like "uhh", ,in a surprised tone and then when they got out, they were snickering. So obviously no hello or anything.

He's so immature. I mean he acts like im some piece of trash. I get it, he was angry for me probably telling him it was a mistake (that we, had a thing), but he really needs to grow up. Clearly he is not over this whole situation either....because he cant even stand being in the same room as me. When he would talk to my roommate, he would make sure not to come into my room. i mean, i didnt want him in my room anyway, but still. He needs to just act like an adult now....

yea, he sounds very immature and not worth your time and energy. he doesn't sound interested or that he likes you from what you have said of him. The reason i suggested talking to him (besides for you to feel better) is because you mentioned that you had avoided saying hi to him when you saw him, so thought maybe he has the wrong idea of how you feel. i'd only consider talking to him now if you honestly can tell yourself that he may be acting like a jerk because he thinks you don't like him. But he really sounds like a guy thats not worth the effort, very immature.

i mean, if he really didnt like me, would he be wasting all this time trying to make my life miserable? He also did this:

last semester, he got his best friend to break into my room at 5am. (i live in a suite so there are two dorm rooms with a bathroom inbetween connecting, and his best friend came through my suitemate's room into the bathroom and into my room) i was like "whoaa!" and trying to comprend.I never even talk to his best friend, so i dont know why he came into my room. I hear a voice outside after say "was she awake?" and it was probably my ex....

also everyone on our floor ignores me. he is the most popular guy on my floor and they all talk about the two of us and what happened. everyone knows about it. its kinda embarrassing

he also took everything off my door and put my roomate's nametag up on his door along with a lot of others on my floor. he left my door completely bare except for my nametag.

he also put five rotten bananas ontop of my door. i got in trouble twice by the RA's for having them on my door.

the thing is, he used to really really really like me a lot (im not sure how much in that way, but in general he really did like me, and would ditch everyone to be with me. He wanted to be with me every moment he could) so maybe he is trying to get a response from me by doing all this. Maybe its a cry for attention? I mean, Im not exactly giving him the response he wants....cuz im acting like im just ignoring everything he is doing....

omg. then go talk to him. why is this so hard?