The workplace and dating

- Alright, so here's this issue:

- my good friend is a shift manager at a local resturant and dating a co-worker. now, they've been at this for a couple of months, and no one has suspected a thing (a couple of his employees even thought that they hated each other). And now the management knows about this, and they frown upon this.

- A funny side note: they thought it was a completely different worker at first. After 20 minutes of lecturing on this issue, they blurted out who they thought he was dating, and it was the completely wrong girl. And they couldn't figure out who it was. (looks to me that they were hiding it fairly well).

- My friend knows he can't play favorites, nor shows any to his subornates. Recently he's been nominated for best oustanding manager this year and now his job is on the line. He's young, still in college, so getting another job isn't an issue. The thing is that his employees are hardcore and will leave if he leaves because of their loyality.

- My question ultimately is, what should he do? Does he risk losing his job? Does he risk losing her and create a ripple affect, causing him to lose his job? Or does he lose everything all together? To me, it doesn't seem like he can dig his way out and the damage is done. It's basically the management versus him.

- It seems like we're trying to salvage whatever we can, so I would be in everyone's debt if someone can give their inputs.

- Thanks in advance everyone.

I known for my absolute objection on this issue. A few things to remember:

1. There is no such thing as a secret in the workplace. It would have easily been figured out eventually.

2. There is no such thing as 100% loyality. People have morgages, car payments, children to feed, habits to support...........you get the idea. When push comes to shove, they would sell him out in a heartbeat before they would lose their houses, cars, or let their children go hungry. Personally, I just bought a jeep and there is no way I would let anybody cause me to risk that, lol.

3. The best way to avoid this problem is to not get into that situation to begin with.

There is really not much he can do but learn from this.

- I agree with you in some sense, but i forgot to leave a few extra info:

- most of his loyal employees are either still in their adolescenes, or have this as a second job. So they obviosuly won't go hungry, they'll just find a different job, or follow him (he actually has 2 employees from his previous job working for him now)

- So, you're saying that he should avoid this kind of behavior altogether? Sorry for being blunt like this, but just to be clear...

Exactly, workplace romances, especially between manager and employee, is just too much of a conflict of intrest, imho.

As far as loyality, even if it is there, no one should ever place all of their eggs in that basket.

If he's mature, he'll take the risk of losing the girl.

If he's immature, he'll take the risk of losing his job.

If he's smart, he'll learn that a good manager abides by the rules if he wants his subordinates to follow the rules.

If he's really smart, he'll learn it's not a good idea to date coworkers.

If he's even smarter, he'll learn it's wrong to date subordinates.

If he refuses to be smart and plays things wrong, he'll find out fast that his employees have no loyalty.

I believe that toshiba has hit the proverbial nail on the head. That was almost poetic actually, lol.

I want to ask something further to this. What do you think of work related relationships? For example people you know from another company through work. Personally I have recently been in a situation where I was going out with a girl as a friend and was going to ask her out. It didn't work out because she said she has personal dramas, plus the fact that we work together was also a contributing factor on her part, but I didn't see the issue. By work together, we basically occasionally call or email each other every now and then to sort out work related matters. It's in regards to logistical matters as our company uses 3rd party logistics to deliver goods. Anyway point being we work for separate companies. Do you think the same rules apply as above?

work related relationships = don't do it. unless you work in like a fortune 500 company and you never see the person at the job. too much bad than good can come from this. they can spread personal business about you around. they can tarnish your rep.

there are so many people out there. there is no need to bring your personal endeavors in so close to your business or the company you work for.

- hey thanks everyone for their input.

- I'll factor all of these into my discussion with him late this week.

- Remember, this is a great place to ask questions or for advice. Everyone is willing to help!